A Cacophony of Voices

by Christopher Lovejoy on October 31, 2022

In the murky depths of the mind, a cacophony of voices bubble up as reminders of our inadequacies and insufficiencies. Today, I’ll be exploring five such voices for your Hallowe’en amusement. The images that accompany the monologues are generated by artificial intelligence (with prompts by yours truly).

Voice # 1 : the Misfit

* looks around, wonders where I am * Oh, hi . . . thanks for dropping by * scratches head * Wait, why am I here again? Oh, yeah, okay, I see * grins happily * So how are things goin’ in yer neck of the woods? Havin’ fun? * giggles shamelessly, and then turns serious * Ya know, I bin thinkin’ . . . seriously, the world now is such a complicated place, what with AI taking over our lives and all, and, well, I’m not sure I can cope anymore . . . ya know what I mean? . . . I’m always wonderin’ “what’s next?” . . . anyway, thanks for listening to my little spiel; the Moron is now clamoring to be heard, insisting on a hearing from the murky depths . . .

Voice # 2 : the Moron

* grins stupidly, fists clenched, staring at the Misfit * What are you lookin’ at? I have as much right to be here as you do * turns attention to audience and grins * first, let’s get this out in the open: every one of you has an inner moron ~ ya know, the part of you that doesn’t see the big picture; the part of you that dismisses vital facts; the part of you that makes assumptions about things you know nothing about; the part of you that clamors for attention for things no one really cares about; the part of you that thinks all is well when nothing could be further from the truth . . . yeah, that’s me, inside you ~ never forget it . . . okay, Muggle, your turn . . .

Voice # 3 : the Muggle

* stares for a moment * What, you think I’m butt ugly? You haven’t seen my cousin, who’s at least ten times as ugly . . . Yeah, it’s true, my name is Mugrustion, a fitting name for a muggle, if I do say so myself . . . so, I hear that I’m here to help you embrace your inner muggle, or at least this is what I’ve been told, but I really can’t say how I’m supposed to do that, for I’m just common folk like most of you . . . okay, let’s go with this: just earn your daily keep and muggle your way through each day the best way you know how; forget about the minions and monsters ~ they’ll get their just desserts soon enough * looks around * hmm, speaking of minions, here’s one now . . .

Voice # 4 : the Minion

* stares blankly, appearing as inconspicuous as possible * Hello . . . please, don’t look at me like that; I didn’t do it, I swear. What didn’t I do? I don’t know, but whatever it was, I didn’t do it . . . and yes, it’s true what they say ~ we do as we are told with as much servility as possible, avoiding trouble wherever possible . . . in serving our masters, we enable them to enslave the rest of you, while making it look like something else, like “a duty of care” . . . actually, we’re not as bad as all that, really we’re not, for as long as we continue to appear cute and cuddly, and innocuously dependent, the finger of blame will rarely if ever be pointed at us * smiles innocently *

Voice # 5 : the Monsta

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light” ~ for the monstas among us, this is our favorite motto by far, but . . . you might be wondering: “why do you have a picture of a moron plastered all over your chest?” Well, is it not obvious that the moron is our mortal enemy? And why no hands and legs, you ask? For as long as we can have others do our bidding, what need have we of hands and legs? We need only collect minions into our midst so that we can persist in raging narcissistically at others to get our way. We give you a reason to live and you do our bidding like the good little boys and girls that you are so that we can continue to exist co-dependently . . .

In closing, we trust that we have succeeded in offending you, at least a little, and no, don’t even think about cancelling us, because if you do, we’ll be sure to eat you alive on Hallows Eve, from the inside out.

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