I Do So Look Forward . . .

by Christopher Lovejoy on November 8, 2020

amor fati, memento mori, carpe diem:
how can I make this so interesting that
I look forward to going back for more?

I flow with the go, even as I go with the flow, and I flow with the grow, even as I grow with the flow, but then I hit a snag, and I get caught up in a holding pattern. My happy is interrupted. My happy is undermined, or overwhelmed. I am suddenly, unexpectedly given to wondering why.

why? to live, to love, to trust, to care,
to learn, to grow, to serve, to rise, to fall,
and to rise again; is this not enough?

Deeper now: Why? Or . . . Wise? Could I welcome any sense of wondering why? Could I allow it to be, just as it is? Could I let it go, just for now? Would I let it go? And if not now, when? Who to be? What to do? Where to go? Or grow? So how does my happy look, sound, and feel now?

This snag has me by the balls; the holding pattern persists, as it must ~ or so it seems. Who to be? What to do? Where to go? Or grow? How do I benefit from this? How might I benefit from cultivating a sense of anticipation around moving into and through it? And yes, even beyond it?

allow serenity to accept what cannot be changed;
permit courage to change what can be changed;
and embrace the wisdom to know the difference!

Q: is this an adequate frame by which to discern?

Even as I follow the blisscipline of seeing (how do I see the myself, others, and the world at large?), I follow the blisscipline of acting (the choices I make and the actions I take ~ but to what end?), and even as I follow the the blisscipline of acting, I follow the blisscipline of willing (can I change this? should I change this? am I clear? should I be clear? do I even know my place in this whirled world?).

This snag prompts so many quality questions for mind and heart both: What is the best way for me to love this, to learn from this? What do I do with any anger that rails at having been snagged and stymied? Am I really afraid to die? If so, why? How well do I hold up under adversity? Under scrutiny?

provocation: “respond, don’t react” . . . what’s right about this? what’s wrong about this?
temptation: “lead us not into temptation” . . . what’s right about this? what’s wrong about this?
obligation: “make good on commitment” . . . what’s right about this? what’s wrong about this?
expectation: “manage expectations” . . . what’s right about this? what’s wrong about this?

Provocations? Temptations? Obligations? Expectations?

Where is my security, my satisfaction, my significance?

Where is my sanity, my serenity, my serendipity now?


I’ve learned a lot about the magic of manifestation in view of “be careful what you wish for!” The idea is to keep my focus on The One Thing and arrange my life and lifestyle around that. So, for example, the life and love of my dream is to __ while assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled. As I do this, I pay attention to the cues and clues that arise in the kindtime to help manifest the life of my dreams.

Another lesson in the art of manifestation is to distinguish between what I need or want versus what I think I need or want. I view the objects and subjects in my interface as icons on a 3D desktop suffused with an immensely generous intelligence. As I tap and tune into this generosity with faithful gratitude, I attract more of what I require or desire and less of what I deem irrelevant or insignificant.

Of course, the ultimate magic trick is to be as fluid as possible without losing my bearings!

~ yours

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