The Keys to Your Im(maturity)

by Christopher Lovejoy on August 24, 2019

Wait, the keys to my immaturity?


Maturity and immaturity go hand in hand, do they not? And here, I trust you understand I’m not talking about that period of time after physical growth has stopped and the body has developed fully.

No, not that kind of maturity.

The kind of maturity I’m talking about here is the one that speaks to a quality and vitality of consciousness that powers and enlivens the body, that discerns and deduces and decides and directs when to move the body and when to bring the body to rest. That kind of maturity.

Let me put it to you as simply as I can: how well do you handle the ups and downs of life?

Okay, maybe that’s too simple.

How well do you handle the ups and downs of life in relation to others?

Ahh, now we’re getting somewhere.


Consider this rather simple (yet potent) definition of maturity:

Maturity (n.): the date on which an obligation must be repaid.

Now here, your tendency might be (is probably) to view this obligation as financial in nature and scope, but I want you to stretch your mind a little and view this obligation as karmic in nature and scope.


Karmic, as in … “what I put out is what I get back.”

A simple relation that even a child can understand.

Here it is again for emphasis:

“What I put out is what I get back (immediately, imminently, or eventually).”

More broadly, “what we put out is what we get back.”

Two kinds of karma can be discerned ~ subjective (I, me, mine) and collective (we, us, ours) ~ such that “every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty.”


If you can get past the misinformation and disinformation (spread in the 20th century to keep this subject matter under wraps, and for good reason), a good deal of evidence is pointing to a solar event that will devastate the earth and its inhabitants in a future not so distant.

Just to be clear, we’re talking here about a time frame of years ~ not decades.

By way of preparation, those in service to self have fallen back on the use of technology to get themselves through this; those in service to other are only now beginning to realize the importance of coming together with a mature consciousness to mitigate the solar effects.

We already know that thousands of souls meditating in peace, in tandem, can bring about beneficial outcomes for everyone concerned, including those who live and work in their vicinity. Surprisingly, these effects have been measured temporally, e.g., lower crime rates.

This suggests that a mature consciousness, collectively harmonized and unified, could have a potent, protective effect on outbursts of solar activity, either indirectly, by boosting the planet’s magnetic field strength against a solar onslaught (or by slowing the current weakening of the field strength), or directly, by collectively absorbing or redirecting some of the energy from the solar outburst itself.

In light of these cosmic revelations, let’s expand our definition of maturity a little.

Collective maturity (n.): the date on which a collective obligation must be repaid.

In light of this definition, this collective obligation could be construed as a cosmic force that binds humanity to courses of action required by this force. In light of this construal, the nature and scope of these courses of action will become more clear in the remainder of this post.

Now if your mind is starting to reel from the implications, take a breather.

I’ll be here when you get back.


At this point, this question is begging to be asked: so what does it mean to be mature?

Before I give you a solid (mature) definition by which to live (love, learn, and laugh), I invite you to tap into your experience of immaturity, in yourself and in others, with the intentions of bringing the nature of maturity to light and of bringing a mature consciousness to light.

Again, ask yourself: how well do I handle the ups and downs of life in relation to others?

Please understand, there’s much more to this question than meets the eye. The hallmarks of immaturity are twofold (1) indulgence; and (2) intolerance. These two hallmarks point to a confession: “I must indulge my power with intolerance to satisfy a need or to fulfill a desire.”

Key word here: must. More emphatically, absolutely must. I invite you to feel into the energy of this declaration: “I absolutely must have this and … I will not let anyone tell me otherwise.” I now invite you to speak these words aloud with as much emphasis as you can muster.

“I absolutely must have this and … I will not let anyone tell me otherwise.”

Note the indulgence of must have; note the intolerance of will not.

Ideally, face these bristling energies with a pinpoint focus.


Not surprisingly, the energies of immaturity point clearly to the energies of maturity.

Consider: “Unless you can persuade me otherwise, I absolutely must have this!” Here, the energy doesn’t seem so immature, although one could sensibly argue that the energy projected is still immature ~ just more tolerable to face in the absence of any lusting intolerance.

Consider: “Unless you can persuade me otherwise, I would really love to have this!” Here, the energy seems a bit more mature than before, although again, one could sensibly insist that the energy projected is still immature ~ just not as indulgent as the vibe of must have.

The hallmarks of maturity are twofold, but in reverse: (1) tolerance (in contrast to intolerance); and (2) preference (in contrast to indulgence), to wit: “Unless you can persuade me otherwise (indicates a disposition to allow freedom of choice), I would very much prefer to have this.”

Immaturity: indulgence, intolerance.

Maturity: tolerance, preference, even if it’s strong (but not too strong!).

Any sincere or concerted attempt to deal with immature energies, in yourself or in others, is more complex and complicated as a proposition than this contrast would have us believe, and so allow me to expand and extend the purview of maturity so as to encompass immaturity.


Where meeting the requirements of maturity in relation to immaturity are concerned, it’s one thing to cognize, quite another to realize. The maturity that we generally seek to reflect or project un-self-consciously in any given situation or interaction is very much an inside job.

What I mean by this is that maturity is not so much the hallmark of a cultivated, calibrated, consolidated, concentrated consciousness as it is the hallmark of a cultivated, calibrated, consolidated, concentrated subconsciousness in its subservience to the will of consciousness.

The subconscious mind needs and wants correction, instruction, direction. Unless and until its needs are satisfied and its wants fulfilled, immaturity will likely be an ongoing struggle for the will of consciousness, even with the guidance and support of superconsciousness.

The inner child very much comes into play here.

If, as a growing child and adolescent, you enjoyed secure attachments to the people, places, and things in your life, you probably have a fairly solid sense of maturity that supports you in times of risk, stress, or weakness. If you didn’t enjoy secure attachments, this doesn’t mean you can’t be mature; it just means bringing the subconscious mind into alignment with the conscious will.

This doesn’t mean “fake it ’til you make it” (necessarily), although it might. There is the risk, however, that this fakery would be exposed, if not in one area of life, then in another. How much better it would be if maturity could be cultivated all across the board, in all areas of life.

We could even give it a name: enlightenment.


Imagine one of your macrophages circulating with grace and ease through the bloodstreams of your body, attentive to foreign bodies; now imagine this large phagocyte being drawn to a foreign body, wrapping itself around this foreign body, and devouring it well and whole.

By way of analogy, imagine yourself as a mature macrophage in the body of immature humanity. Now imagine many thousands or millions or even billions of mature macrophages circulating through the body of immature humanity, ever attentive to the wrapping and devouring.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

Maturity feeding off of immaturity? I admit, it’s a strange notion.

How would anyone even begin to make sense of it?

With a little thought, however, I don’t think this would be hard to do.

We’ve already seen that maturity can be demonstrated by this equation: tolerance + preference = maturity. By contrast, immaturity can be exposed by an equally simple equation: indulgence + intolerance = immaturity. I invite you to get a feeling for the energy in this contrast.

Indeed, the contrast in energies seems almost paradoxical. That is, immaturity seems stronger, at least in the short term, whereas maturity seems rather weak by comparision. With tongue in cheek, I am given to wondering: what does a macrophage have that I don’t have?

Patience, perhaps? A due diligence? A persistence that borders on perseverance?


Immaturity walks hand in hand with negativity and reactivity. Everyone knows this.

Even children.

Maturity, on the other hand, walks hand in hand with … wait for it … a readiness, a willingness, and … an ability to … wait for it … respond. A simple word to be sure, forming as it does other relevant, significant words like … response, responsive, responsible, responsibility.

Now let’s throw another word into the mix: posture.

As in: how best to guide soul and spirit into a posture of maturity?

In keeping with the equation of maturity above, a mature posture is a capacity to extend tolerance (the wrapping action of the macrophage) in the presence of someone sending out immature energy (the foreign body) with the energy of preference (feeding off the immature energy).

You’re confronted by someone who tells you, in effect, or in no uncertain terms, that … “I absolutely must have this and … I will not tolerate anyone telling me otherwise.” The wrapping action is … “I wouldn’t dare to tell you otherwise because that would go against what you feel you need right now, but …” (and here’s the feeding action) … “I’d prefer to be given a choice as to how to proceed with the need.”

The wrapping action neutralizes the intolerance.

The feeding action energizes the response to indulgence.

This energy can then be used to tap your options: “I don’t see why I can’t help you with this” … “I can help you with this after I …” … “I’m not sure whether I can help you with this, but I’ll let you know when …” … “There’s no way I can help you with this, but I know someone who can.”

There’s no shame in confessing limits to what can or can not be done, or done right now.

Unless, of course, we think there is, in which case, we hobble ourselves.


Navigating immature energy is complex and complicated, and so I hope you realize we’re just getting warmed up. There’s a reason why those who lust for power push immaturity on those they seek to control; it’s because immature energy is easier to control with carrots and sticks.

Essentially, and unfortunately, immature energy is unapologetically indulgent and/or intolerant, more appropriate to infants and children who don’t or can’t get what they need or want, or with infants and children who don’t or can’t get their way in meeting what they need or want.

This cold, hard truth is available to anyone ready to face immature energy in themselves for the sake of their own spiritual growth. Thankfully, the warm, soft truth is that the nature and scope of immature energy can provide vital clues to the nature and scope of mature energy.

Consider these red flags of immature energy …

1) immature energy is bereft of empathy
2) immature energy is impulsive and impetuous
3) immature energy is preoccupied with image
4) immature energy is averse to what is boring or unpleasant
5) immature energy confesses a lack of reflection
6) immature energy employs a whimsical nature in a ritualized, prioritized manner
7) immature energy indulges tendencies to blame or shame
8) immature energy telegraphs “it’s my way or the highway”
9) immature energy is generally indulgent and/or intolerant

Red flag 9 comes through the ever insistent waving of red flags 7 and/or 8.

In dramatic fashion, red flag 6 waves red flags 1 through 5: imagine someone being a target of whimsical persecutions, or imagine someone who dillydallies in front of a mirror with cosmetics while running late for a dinner date, a medical appointment, or an important job interview.

Speaking of mirrors, red flags 1 through 5 reflect a lack or loss of visibility during the formative periods of life, either because caregivers are absent, inconsistent, volatile, dismissive, or permissive. I spoke to these attachment styles in my post entitled Sex, Sexy, Sexual, Sexuality. People of all ages in the habit of waving the red flags of immature energy are more than likely looking for models of visibility and sanity.

Just imagine living inside a black hole of dark egoic lust, more often than not.

Now imagine facing someone who harbors such a black hole on a daily basis.

In moments of extreme risk or stress, a thin red line separates sanity from insanity. In such moments, a reassuring touch, word, or look could make all the difference between pulling someone back from the brink of insanity and letting someone slip past the red line into insanity.

Actually, we might even go so far as to thank those who send out immature energy, by virtue of the fact that they remind us, again and again, what it means to embody and express mature energy.

Consider the following 9 keys to unlocking the doors to your im(maturity). In perusing this list, keep in mind that one side of the key is labelled “immature”; the other side of the key is labelled “mature” …

> immature energy is bereft of empathy
> mature energy arises through empathy

> immature energy is impulsive and impetuous
> mature energy is reflective and deliberate

> immature energy is preoccupied with image
> mature energy moves through a sound image

> immature energy is averse to what is boring or unpleasant
> mature energy can tolerate what is boring or unpleasant

> immature energy confesses a lack of reflection
> mature energy expresses a fullness of reflection

> immature energy employs a whimsical nature in a ritualized, prioritized manner
> mature energy employs a sensible nature in a prioritized, individualized manner

> immature energy indulges tendencies to blame or shame
> mature energy can refrain from reactively blaming or shaming

> immature energy telegraphs “it’s my way or the highway”
> mature energy telegraphs “this is my way; what is your way?”

> immature energy is indulgent and/or intolerant
> mature energy is ever tolerant of preferences

Let’s examine these keys closely, starting with the immature sides.

There have been moments in my life …

… when I have been bereft of empathy when empathy was clearly called for; when I have been irresponsibly impulsive and impetuous; when I have been preoccupied with my image; when I have been averse to doing what is boring or unpleasant; when I have said or done something without adequate reflection; when I have shamelessly employed a whimsical nature in a ritualized, prioritized manner; when I have indulged tendencies to blame or shame; when I have telegraphed “it’s my way or the highway”; and when I have indulged my power with intolerance.

I dare say, without exception, we’ve all been guilty of putting out immature energy. All the better if we can admit to ourselves that this has been so. Just know that heartfelt admissions can do wonders for the capacity to meet intolerance with tolerance, indulgence with preference.

Let’s now flip the keys over and closely examine the mature sides.

There have been moments in my life …

… when I have been able to channel empathy when empathy was clearly called for; when I have been responsively and responsibly reflective and deliberate with my energy; when I have cared enough about presenting a sound image; when I have been able to tolerate what is boring or unpleasant; when I have been able to express a fullness of reflection; when I have employed a sensible nature in a prioritized, individualized manner; when I have been able to refrain from reactively blaming or shaming; when I have telegraphed “this is my way; what is your way?”; and when I have been able to remain ever tolerant of preferences, even if they were strong and persistent and felt overwhelming.

Unfortunately, I’m still skimming the surface of im(maturity).

Let’s go even deeper.


Let’s start with an unorthodox question (as this deep dive into the murky, musty depths of the human egoic condition will require an unorthodox investigation): just how much invisibility and insanity can one take before one gives up on realizing the warm vitality of visibility in keeping with the standard of sanity? Just how much pain and suffering can one take inside an oppressive state of involuntary servitude?

As I made clear from the outset of my post, The Gray Heart of Humanity, the human egoic condition tends to push and pull in two diametrically opposed directions: (1) to the left, towards serving mostly the self, and (2) to the right, towards serving the other more often than not.

In bringing this condition to light, experientially as well as conceptually, we must remind ourselves, even in times of extreme risk or stress, or in moments of weakness, not to take it too personally, lest we fall prey to the fearful, angry, grieving energies of reactive consciousness.

In light of this reminder, let us not speak of immature people; let us instead speak of immature energy. This is the litmus test for whether we are able to face and feel this energy without getting bent out of shape and losing our grip on unity, harmony, reality, dignity, integrity, sanity.

We are living through what I have called The Harvest Crunch, where all manner of trauma is coming up for processing by way of drama and where all manner of karma is coming up for processing by way of dharma. The widespread chaos of immature energy is an indication that things are not going so well ~ a cosmic confession of every absent, inconsistent, volatile, dismissive, or permissive act of caregiving.

Collectively, whether we realize it or not, we are having to deal with the absorption of entitlement in a digital electronic age. Subjectively, we are having to deal with the entitlement of absorption in those inclined towards living inside pain bodies of egoic indulgence and intolerance.

Consider yourself fortunate if you have ever lived inside such a pain body. In having done so, or in doing so, you know just how painful it can be, how desperate its energy, how solitary its confinement. In such a state, how can one not be immature, at least some of the time?


Never talk about sex, religion, or politics in polite company.

When I first heard this as a young adolescent, my response was … “huh? why not?” I realize now that, at the time, I was just too naive to fully comprehend why sex, religion, and politics were forbidden topics of conversation in polite company. Of course, now I know all too well.

Unless people are on the same page with respect to these topics (and even then), bringing even one of them up, in companies both polite and impolite, tends to bring out the worst in people, generating situations where immature energy tends to get the best of mature energy.

And that’s putting it mildly.

Now if you think I’m about to bring up the topics of sex, religion, and politics, you’d be right. You’d be wrong, however, if you think I want to talk about sex, religion, or politics at any length, in any depth, for the remainder of this post. Not so, for I have something else in mind …

This something else would likely require taking tentative steps, at least at first, through the social order, not unlike stepping through a deep, dark, dank jungle full of predatory creatures both large and small. Or a minefield where the mines are all too cleverly disguised or hidden.

The underbelly of sex, religion, and politics is a dark dynamic that runs like an elusive thread through them all, one that binds humanity to a condition of mediocrity and meritocracy both, from which the murky, musty depths of the human egoic condition can be viewed (or not).

With a little thought, this dark dynamic of which I speak is not difficult to identify.

In the shadows of meritocracy lies mediocrity, where nothing is as it seems. Here, we get to see legions of souls cast aside by the all-too-certain pronouncements of those who presume to know better, foisting their careless prejudices on those too weak to withstand them.

In their impatience, the meritorious ones sit or stand all-too-tall-and-proud in positions of presumed authority and superiority, where they can render their judgments, declaring in no uncertain terms: “not enough” … “not good enough” … “you can do better” … “you can be better.”

Let us be crystal clear: these are potent judgments, more potent than realized, for they beg many questions: Who are you to judge? By what values, virtues, and standards do you judge? And why these values, virtues, and standards and not others? Sex? Religion? Politics?

Yes, it starts with sex, for sex is the primal force of nature, the giver of life, the binder of love, and because it so binds, religion arises in its wake to make sense of the binding, to give it shape and meaning, and because it does so with virtue, politics arises to handle the fallout of those who have failed to live up to said virtue, prescribing standards of conduct in the form of laws and statutes, rules and regulations.

Looking to get a handle on someone’s values? Look at their sexuality. Looking to get a handle on someone’s virtues? Look at their religion (even if they claim they have none). Looking to get a handle on someone’s standards? Look at their politics (even if they claim none).

Many, many values. Many, many virtues. Many, many standards.

Is this not a condition ripe for conflict? For … dare I say it … persecution? And when push comes to shove, for malignant persecution? For willful defiance in the wake of malignant persecution? For conditions of chaos, conflict, and confusion? For sinkholes of indifference?

For shameless indulgence? For a starving intolerance?

Now if your mind is starting to reel from the implications, take a breather.

I’ll be here when you get back.


A mature consciousness finds and follows its own values, virtues, and standards.

Here, maturity is unity and harmony, where one facet of its maturity holds true to its value and values (superconsciously), where one facet holds true to its virtue and virtues (consciously), and where another facet holds true to its standard and standards (subconsciously).

Such spiritual integration is highly resistant to, and recoils in the face of, the dark dynamic of malignant persecution and willful defiance that arises out of the murky, musty depths of the human egoic condition.

An immature consciousness, in its indulgence and intolerance, remains ever susceptible to being told what to do and how to do it, at risk of enslavement by way of involuntary servitude, at risk of being denied and defied, denigrated and devalued, persecuted and maligned.

In such a state, invisibility is par for the course, and insanity not that far away.

The question I posed above rears its head once again: just how much invisibility and insanity can one take before one gives up on realizing the warm vitality of visibility in keeping with the standard of sanity?

Maybe we could ask those prone to narcissistic power plays and power trips.

What do you think?


In my mind, narcissism is a rather unusual, yet truly fascinating phenomenon.

If you’ve ever lived or worked side by side with someone prone to speaking and behaving narcissistically, you cannot help but see, hear, and feel the intensity of their vibe as immature, waving all the red flags …

1) narcissistic energy is bereft of empathy
2) narcissistic energy is impulsive and impetuous
3) narcissistic energy is preoccupied with image
4) narcissistic energy is averse to what is boring or unpleasant
5) narcissistic energy confesses a lack of reflection
6) narcissistic energy employs a whimsical nature in a ritualized, prioritized manner
7) narcissistic energy indulges tendencies to blame or shame
8) narcissistic energy telegraphs “it’s my way or the highway”
9) narcissistic energy is generally indulgent and/or intolerant

Those prone to narcissistic behavior are drawing on an evolutionary advantage where demonstrating leadership in risky or stressful situations is concerned. They are also polarizing in the direction of serving themselves most of the time, while serving unwittingly as canaries in the coal mine for how unhealthy (self-absorbed, self-entitled, self-aggrandized) a family, culture, society, or civilization is becoming.

In these respects, immature energy, focused narcissistically, demonstrates value.

In getting a handle on this way of being, having, and doing, both in ourselves and with others, it helps to break it down and sort it out in a graduated manner. From what I can see, immature behaviour can be viewed along a spectrum that grows increasingly narcissistic:

narcissistic (immature) energy
harbors an inflated idea or sense of importance in the moment

a narcissistic personality trait
harbors an ongoing inflated idea or sense of importance in at least one area of life

a narcissistic personality type
harbors an ongoing inflated idea or sense of importance in many if not most areas of life

narcissistic personality disorder
a deeply ingrained pattern of behaviour of a specified kind (see above), deviating markedly from the norms of generally accepted behavior, typically apparent by the time of adolescence, and causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society

As you can well imagine, those diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder only come to this diagnosis with difficulty. It usually takes a fairly serious personal crisis before someone prone to narcissism can realize and accept the extent of their dysfunctional difficulties.

Even after a clear diagnosis, the poor prognosis leaves much to be desired.

Vulnerability, empathy, and compassion are little valued by those prone to acting out strong narcissistic tendencies, as can be seen in the speech and behavior of world leaders, celebrities, corporate executives, lawyers, bankers, surgeons, writers, artists, and athletes.

Interestingly, if not sadly, if one were to write a book on narcissism, it would read like a guide on how to make it big in the world: in business, in the professions, in being healthy, wealthy, and wise to the world, for example, but curiously, not in personal or intimate relationships.

One cannot fake narcissism to get ahead, however, for any longer than a minute. Acquired narcissism, from being waited on hand and foot through the acquisition of sudden wealth, can interfere with past or current relationships, but only if it’s not called out and corrected.

By contrast, those prone to developmental narcissism will insist: “you will do as I say because I am that important.” They can get away with such behavior because, well, “that’s just how they are, and besides, they can be quite generous if they know they get something in return.”

Think big presents, big displays, big dinners, big parties, big vacations …

The existing research points to 4 primary narcissistic personality types:

The grandiose type is the classical egotist: a big talker and a poor listener with strong tendencies towards being self-centered, self-absorbed, self-entitled, self-aggrandized, indulgent with their power, intolerant, arrogant, attention-seeking, validation-seeking, admiration-seeking.

The covert type is the one that feels put upon by the world in a rather grandiose way: “I’m really great at ___, but the world has rarely if ever noticed just how great I am; maybe I just came along at the wrong time in history” and “nobody seems to get just how great I am …”

The communal type is the one that happily declares to the world via social media: “off to feed the homeless today!” (while wearing a stunning outfit) or “it’s dog-rescue Thursday!”; this is the type that attends galas and benefits with the intention of saving the world; they talk a lot about their good deeds with this underlying presumption: “Look at my greatness! I’m really all about giving!”.

The converse is “do good quietly.”

And then there’s the malignant type. This is the grandiose type with a mean streak, who raises all the red flags of immaturity and then some. The “then some” is this: they tend to be rather mean-spirited: they can and will do bad things (lie, cheat, steal) almost to the point of being psychopathic, acting badly with only a twinge of conscience, hurting those close to them in the guise of doing this for their own good.

Malignant persecution is a rather intense catalyst for growth. Someone living or working with someone prone to immaturity and malignancy must be careful to manage expectations every step of the way. How much better if such a relationship could be avoided in the first place.

In such a relationship, this dread question keeps coming up for processing:

just how much invisibility and insanity can one take before one gives up on
realizing the warm vitality of visibility in keeping with the standard of sanity?

It is healthy, normal, and natural to feel a sense of foreboding in response to malignancy, as it likely gives a dark presage of things to come. What is not known, however, is just how deep this malignancy goes once it rears its ugly head, or worse, just how deep its roots will grow.

How best to sidestep being smeared by the mud ~ and strangled by the roots?

This is not only a question for every one of us, it’s also a question for all of us.


Where immaturity and malignancy are concerned, avoidance is the best strategy by far, but what if, by fate or by choice, one cannot avoid facing it or facing up to it? Who is one to be and what is one to do in the face of those who exert a malign influence with intolerance?

How best to meet and greet malignancy with a benign and mature response?

In simplicity, humility, and serenity, I find my response to malignant immaturity.

In simplicity, I find my value, in humility, my virtue, in serenity, my standard by which to measure my success in absorbing and processing the intense catalyst that is malignant immaturity, but before engaging the murky, musty depths of the human egoic condition, let us define terms.

Simplicity: the freedom to bypass difficulty, hardship, or effort

Humility: the freedom to be and to become without false pride

Serenity: the freedom to respond, regardless of risk or stress

These simple definitions bring my ideal response set into focus. In the face of malignant immaturity, one is ready, willing, and able to act with and from and through simplicity, humility, and serenity, while cultivating, calibrating, and consolidating a balanced posture of maturity.

I realize this no small feat. Indeed, I would say it’s the work of a lifetime, for with simplicity comes complexity and complication, with humility comes false pride and its heady mixture of pretense, presumption, and prejudice, and with serenity comes acute or chronic anxiety.

For how else could one realize these core values without catalyst?

The catalyst in question is a three-headed beast, which I outline below. Those prone to malignant narcissism will feel right at home with the following descriptions and characterizations:

Know your Value (Simplicity)

Malignant immaturity tends to oppress, dominating or subjugating through unfair or unjust use of authority and power, stating in no uncertain terms that “I am (we are) better, faster, stronger, smarter, more attractive, more effective, or more efficient than you (them).” Dark tendencies include: blame and shame, connive and control, deceive and dominate, manipulate and exploit, subjugate and seduce.

The response is simplicity: the freedom to bypass difficulty, hardship, or effort. Here, think of a conductor of electricity with low resistance in parallel with another device to divert a fraction of the current. Here, “bypass” does not mean “avoid”; engage with the intent to bypass.

In spiritual terms, this means learning to be an effective, efficient conductor of malignant immature energy by cultivating the fine art of meeting and greeting this energy on your own terms with just enough resistance to formulate a response that keeps things running smoothly.

Here is your chance to be conscious, creative, and constructive.

Know your Virtue (Humility)

Malignant immaturity tends to make scapegoats, i.e., those singled out for punishment for the mistakes, errors, problems, vices, and sins of others, stating in no uncertain terms that “I (we) need to fix you so that you can be (more) like me (us).” Dark tendencies include: belittle, condescend, demean, denigrate, disdain, dismiss, humiliate, ignore, patronize, prejudge, presume, ridicule.

The response is humility: the freedom to be and become without false pride. Keep in mind that the most unfortunate thing about this virtue is that it has been associated with being lowly and unworthy. Nothing, however, could be further from the truth. Humility is a powerful virtue.

Or at least it can be if exercised with due care for the consequences.

In facing false pride, scapegoating finds it mark with ease. In the eyes of humility, however, scapegoating can be seen for what it is: a pitiful attempt to masquerade as virtue by feeding off the energy of others, or else, a shit test calculated to assess your degree of false pride.

Avoid indulging pretense, presumption, and prejudice at all costs.

Know your Standard (Serenity)

Malignant immaturity tends to indulge in gaslighting, i.e., manipulating others psychologically so that they start to question their own sanity, stating in no uncertain terms that “You simply do not know what you’re talking about and you certainly do not know what you’re doing.” Dark tendencies include these acts of subterfuge: counter, deny, divert, forget, minimize, obfuscate, pretend, trivialize, and withhold.

The response is serenity: the freedom to respond, regardless of risk or stress. This gold standard for a response might require a great deal of inner work in clearing personal limits and blocks. It most certainly requires a strong presence of mind in the face of the facts at hand.

Serenity is defined, first and foremost, as “a disposition free from stress or emotion.” This is the sort of disposition that is highly valuable and desirable in the face of gaslighting, as it tends to neutralize its influence with a clean, clear, calm grasp of what is being said and done.

Avoiding indulging cognition and emotion; keep it clean and clear.

Overall, then, in knowing your value as simplicity, in knowing your virtue as humility, and in knowing your standard as serenity, you are well equipped to face the creed of those prone to narcissistic energy:

The Creed of Narcissism

It didn’t happen, or if it did,
it didn’t happen the way you say it did,
and even if it did, it wasn’t that bad,
and even if it was, it’s not a big deal,
and even if it is, it wasn’t my fault,
and even if it was, I didn’t mean it,
and even if I did, you deserved it

This creed makes it quite clear that any attempt at accusation is futile at best.

The Creed defines a certain kind of reality for those in need of it, to which they subscribe for their own reasons. This doesn’t mean that you can’t build immunity to narcissistic abuse (remember the macrophage) and that you can’t build up your immunity to malignant immaturity.

Here are 6 tips for interfacing with those prone to following the dreaded creed:

1. Quickly! unsubscribe from their reality (as defined and refined by the mighty Creed)
2. Be just as quick to trust your own sense of reality, integrity, and sanity (see above)
3. Remain wholly responsible for your own attitudes and actions to keep your integrity
4. Turn your sense of approval inward; this is a powerful codependency-busting move
5. Clarify boundaries; get comfortable saying “no”; value self-respect over connection
6. Share your experience to relieve any isolation and denial, breaking the trauma bond

If you have to endure the misfortune of living, working, or serving with someone prone to behaving like a soul-sucking black hole, you’ll know that a few juicy comebacks can really help to sharpen the blade.

Here are 7 memorable comebacks to those prone to being malignant persecutors:

I’m sorry you feel that way; I can accept your faulty perception of me; I have no right to control how you see me; I guess I have to accept how you feel; your anger is not my responsibility; I’m not an object in your game; truth be told, you’re not entitled to anything from anyone.

Use these comebacks judiciously, lest you offend to the point of extreme violence.

If at all possible, educate yourself to avoid or bypass the worst of malignant immature energy from the get-go; otherwise, find yourself a good listener who can help you navigate the pitfalls of being in a relationship with someone prone to grinding you down and wearing you out.

Again, for ease of reference …

Simplicity: the freedom to bypass difficulty, hardship, or effort

Humility: the freedom to be and to become without false pride

Serenity: the freedom to respond, regardless of risk or stress

Where simplicity serves as a buttress of value to support your sense of reality, humility serves as a counter of virtue to hold your integrity, while serenity serves as a soft measure to keep your sanity.

The one great consolation in all of this is that, as an ideal set of core values, as an ideal response set, simplicity, humility, and serenity are synergistic in their effect, meaning that the sum of their beneficient influence is much greater than each serving and responding alone.

Closing Thoughts

My sense is that malignant immaturity is sourced primarily through sexual indulgence, giving rise to a tyranny of negativity that maligns and oppresses individuals and groups of individuals, in turn giving rise to a tyranny of positivity that scapegoats “the infidels” with a religious intolerance, in turn giving rise to a tyranny of neutrality that gaslights opponents with a political intolerance.

Could this be why humanity is so mean, dark, and ugly when the shadows are exposed?

Note the character of its sexual (cult)ure, its religious (cult)ure, and its political (cult)ure.

Just how hard can it be, just how hard does it have to be, to enjoy your sexuality without complication, to observe the beauty in life and to cultivate a sense of reverence for life, all the while going along to get along? Apparently, very, very hard. Or so we are made to believe.

More elaborate practical steps for meeting and greeting malignant immaturity are beyond the scope of this post. What I can say, however, is that any practical study of the psychology of narcissism is a highly beneficial start in coming to terms with both immaturity and malignancy.

See the resources below for more info.

A witness perspective attuned to simplicity, humility, and serenity is a potent antidote to being maligned, scapegoated, and gaslighted. For serious students of philosophy, psychology, and spirtiuality, providing this antidote is an ongoing project, if not the work of a lifetime.

Remember: simplicity, humility, serenity.

A Parting Qu’o-tation

“Consciousness is, in truth, the consciousness of love, for love, and the distortions of love, are all that there is. (recall that love polarizes in one of two directions: as a love of self or as a love of the other)

Each person has a native vibration that is completely congruent with the Logos (in Law of One terms) that created and formed all the millions of infinite universes, and each, through the process of taking on an incarnation, has signed up for a difficult yet rewarding term of service.

That consciousness, then, that some have called Christ-consciousness or cosmic consciousness, dwells within that vessel of skin and bones, muscles and thoughts. Each rattles around in this somewhat alien configuration, a spirit trapped, or just visiting. Most entities spend some time feeling very trapped, and yet this is an opportunity for which you wished very much (recall the work of Dr. Michael Newton).

This was a trip for which you planned (prior to birth, believe it or not), setting up for yourself relationships that would help to focus your own heart and mind upon those lessons of love you, yourself, deemed to be the most telling and critical for you at this point (of your evolution).

And so that basic vibration of each is Love Itself, distorted, contracted, controlled, shall we say, by the various ways in which, by free will, the entity has chosen to limit or shape consciousness” (so as to learn and grow, evolve and ascend, in and through consciousness).

~ Q’uo, in a channeling through L/L Research, dated April 14, 1996


Dreeke, Robin
It’s Not All About Me: Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone

Eddy, Bill
5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life

Eddy, Bill
BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People

Keyes Jr., Ken and Burkan, Tolly
How to Make Your Life Work or Why Aren’t You Happy?
Assumes an interest in reaching and realizing a mature, heartfelt consciousness

Masters, Robert Augustus
Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters
Calls out the tendency to seek immunity from suffering without doing the work

Offers an Extensive Resource for Mental Health
Includes Analyses of Major Personality Disorders

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