A Quick Guide to Fulfillment

by Christopher Lovejoy on June 22, 2019

The following quick guide to fulfillment is a work in progress and was designed as a reminder for the intractable, incorrigible me, myself, and I. Please feel free to share with those you feel might benefit …

Three (Brief) Definitions

(1) what is a need? oxygen, food, water, clothes, shelter, comfort, sleep
(2) what is a want? hint: any sense of wanting implies a sense of lacking
(3) what is required? receive, reflect, respond; contain, endure, resolve

Three (Vital) Requirements

(1) your (undivided) attention
(2) a space where you can be free of distractions
(3) one simple intention to follow your breath

Phase 1 Instructions: Settlement

(1) enter a space you believe will be free of distractions
(2) ask: can I be almost sure this space will be free of distractions for the next 20+ minutes?
(3) position yourself safely, securely, and/or comfortably
(4) close your eyes, but only if you feel alert; rest your eyes on an object if you feel you might doze off

Phase 2 Instructions: Involvement

(1) place your attention on the rhythm of your breathing
(2) note the rhythm: slow? or not so slow? deep? or not so deep? steady? or not so steady?
(3) now hold your breath on the out breath for as long as this feels comfortable; don’t force it
(4) now release the hold on your breath; let it do as it pleases

Phase 3 Instructions: Engagement

(1) follow your breath like a puppy follows its master
(2) affirm: in this moment, my breath is the most sacred thing in the world to me
(3) let your breath do as it pleases; if it wants to stop, let it stop; if it wants to go, let it go
(4) if you’re like most, you’ll lose track of your breath; keep coming back to your breath

Phase 4 Instructions: Denouement

(1) for the last 20+ minutes, you failed miserably ~ now what? pause, breathe, smile
(2) congratulations! whether you feel you failed or not, receive this as a sign of pro-gress
(3) aim for what is known as consistency of practice; a set time and place does wonders
(4) carry this practice into the midst of activity throughout the day, if only for a minute

Bonus instruction: here are your watchwords … patience, diligence, persistence


Qui bono?
Those who desire a calm, clear, composed, competent, caring, confident engagement with life.

What is my desired outcome?
A slow, deep, steady breath that comes and goes naturally without you having to think about it.

When is the best time to do this?
At the crack of dawn … actually, any time is a good time when you can savor your alone time.

Where is the best place to do this?
In a space and a place where you can be as still as a statue and as dignified as a black swan.

Why am I doing this again?
Because you care about your life. Truly. Madly. Deeply.

How often should I do this?
Every waking moment of your life for the rest of your life. Failing that, as often as required.

How can I get others to do this?
By not telling them that they should do it, i.e., by serving as an example for others to follow.

Any special parting words of wisdom?
Amor fati, memento mori. That is to say, be here now, be here now, be here now …

Bonus Section (To Indulge My Generous Spirit)

amor fati: “without sedation and distraction, I respond to what happens in life as if it’s required”
memento mori: “I am here in this world primarily to give and to receive ~ not to get and to take”

I am not my thoughts; I can choose when, where, and how I relate to my thoughts as I need not buy into the content of my thoughts; and I can function quite well without having to pay close attention to my thoughts; rather, I can trust the truth of the moment and not my thoughts …

I am open to what the moment requires and, when necessary, ask “what is required now?” or “what would love do?” or “how does life wish to move me now?”; I am receptive to what I see, hear, and feel, rather than going out of my way to think things through or figure things out …

Be here now. Be here now. Be … here … now …

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