A New Chapter in My Life

by Christopher Lovejoy on August 25, 2018

When the universe serves me up with an intense course of catalyst, it is all I can do to keep up, but when the universe conspires to challenge me to the very limits of my endurance, then it is all I can do to find every available means to call it quits and make a quick and graceful exit.

A few weeks ago, I was walking alone away from this graceful exit, holding space for the immense relief that I felt, even as I was making room in my mind for the complex churn of motives and reasons that initially drove me away, perplexedly repeating to no one in particular: why?

But not before thinking that God was a hoax ~ and then dismissing this notion as silly.

Not long after, a cryptic answer to my exasperated question of why came to me out of the blue. I do not know what possessed me to say this, but an intuitive knowing pushed its way into my awareness in spite of myself: “a new chapter is coming into my life,” I affirmed to myself.

I thought this statement to be figurative; little did I know its meaning was literal …


The next evening, I felt the impulse to open my Adobe Digital Editions to resume my reading of Book 5 of The Law of One series of books. In reading fragment 48 (session 98, removed from the original edition for personal reasons), a light bulb went off in my head as I read a reference to the Channelling Handbook, which triggered a memory of another book by the same author called the Wanderer’s Handbook.

I had already downloaded the unabridged version of the Wanderer’s Handbook many moons ago, but had saw fit to put it aside, perhaps for another time. That evening, I felt drawn to scan the table of contents for some reference to “psychic greeting” and found it in Chapter 3.

Chapter 3 deals with an intriguing (and for me, highly relevant) topic of interest called agenbite of inwit, a literary reference to the remorse of conscience (one that James Joyce used in his writing), or to put it literally, “yet agen(again), the bite of in(ner)wit” The author of the Handbook, Carla Rueckert, saw fit to put a modern spin on it: the persistence of pain ~ “looking again into the pain of the self as perceived by the self.” Incidentally, the coincidence that Chapter 3 deals with life in third density is not lost on me.

On agenbite of inwit, the author Carla Rueckert had this to say: “there is an iterative and increasingly powerful effect of this inner watching that can sap already vulnerable energies and deepen already substantial self-doubt. This inner watch is, I think, very typical of wanderers.”

The inner watch of conscience can indeed result in a downward spiral of consciousness, but perhaps if done properly, and with due diligence, it can also not only serve to assuage vulnerable energies and lessen substantial self-doubt, it can also foster trust and vitality in oneself.

That is, by meeting doubt with trust and by meeting vulnerability with vitality.


Now you might be wondering: just who are these wanderers among us?

Wanderers are students or graduates of higher densities who decide to reincarnate at a lower density for a variety of reasons, which include one or more of the following: to revisit lessons once learned (but not fully) in lower densities, to explore new lessons in lower densities, and/or to offer support and assistance to those seeking to evolve and ascend to a higher frequency of consciousness.

In the Law of One material, many references are made to the notion of density ~ not to be confused with the notion of frequency. A density of light is not unlike a level of play in a cosmic game where you can be certain ways and do certain things at this level only. A density of light, being packed with information and energy of a certain kind, is more dense the higher you go, allowing you to be and do more things.

For example, at first density, only a primal presence is possible with an awareness of change. At second density, a complex of body and mind can experience the phenomenon of growth. At third density, a complex of body, mind, and spirit permits self-awareness, love, and choice.

If a soul in third density does not fit a certain energetic profile, it is simply not fit to graduate to the next level of density, having to resort to yet another incarnation to evolve and ascend to a place where all of its energy centers (chakras) are more or less activated and balanced.

Where much of humanity is presently in third density making a transition into fourth, the earth is in fourth density, waiting (not for much longer) for humanity to catch up. This discrepancy in densities is a calling for transparency in all dealings, pushing for the resolution of all karma.

At fourth density, the frequencies of love and understanding are supported, such that there is no longer any need to make a choice to serve the other as it can be taken for granted that this is what souls do at this level much if not most of the time; at fifth density, the frequencies of love and understanding are refined with wisdom towards unity, or compassionate wisdom, which is the domain of those in sixth density.

Howard Storm, in his compelling account of the future, after undergoing a rather harrowing and revelatory NDE, shares the details of a fourth density world on this planet in the late twenty-second century. Paul Lowe, in his audio recording One World, shares a very similar account.

Again, wanderers are students or graduates of higher densities who decide to risk being covered by the veil of forgetting to reincarnate at a lower density for reasons already mentioned above, typically at a time of harvest when souls are being tested for their fitness to ascend.

Wanderers are also typically those who are polarized positively in favor of serving others rather than polarized negatively in favor of serving the self at the expense of others; this is so because the risk of forgetting who they are and where they come from is greater for the latter.

Why is it risky for the soul to forget? Because the soul is at risk of incurring significant karma if it doesn’t remember where it came from and because it might take many lives for the soul to process this karma, move beyond the cycle of samsara, and return to its native density.

Now that we have a handle on the identity of wanderers, I will address the problematic nature of the inner watch which, in my view, has both serious downsides and salvific upsides for the wandering soul.


In Chapter 3 of the Wanderer’s Handbook, the author addresses some fascinating topics and matters relevant to the inner watch in this order, using these seven headings: self-doubt; pride and surrender; elitism; psychic greeting; despair; inside the bell jar; and spiritual exhaustion.

Let us explore each of these in turn, but in terms that honor both sides of the equation (light and dark) and in an order that feels progressive to the wandering soul in search of a clear, concise, comprehensive respite from the rigors and (often unreasonable) demands of third density.

For ease of reference, here is my outline of the major issues …

trust (self-doubt)
I trust my truth and my worth or else I doubt my truth and my worth

humility (pride and surrender)
I open to experience with humility or I defend against experience with Pride

wisdom (elitism)
I know I am not better than you or I am foolish enough to think that I am

vitality (spiritual exhaustion)
I meet challenge with alacrity or else I grow weary and vulnerable to slight

growth (psychic greeting)
I tap the potential of psychic greetings or I resist their power to instruct

solace (inside the bell jar)
I take solace in my solitude or I feel lost and alone inside the bell jar

promise (despair)
I am alive to promise or I am dead to that place where dreams used to be

reference: the Wanderer’s Handbook, unabridged edition, Chapter 3

With this listing as a guide, I begin my deep dive into agenbite of inwit.


Agenbite of inwit is a literary reference to the tendency of the conscience to look again into the pain of the self as perceived by the self, but why would this be a particularly intense concern or an enduring interest for the wandering soul? And why now in these testy times on earth?

A soul’s brave entry into a world seemingly divided, conquered, and oppressed, while difficult enough, pales in comparison to the considerable difficulties that are experienced by this courageous soul’s entry into a lower density, through the veil of forgetting, from a higher density. Not only does such an entry generate some serious cognitive and emotive dissonances between frequencies of consciousness (between higher and lower densities), it also carries the potential to generate some serious dissonances between what the soul is aiming to do with its life on earth, what the soul is actually doing here, and what the soul knows it is capable of doing, until such time that it has awakened to its true purpose.

Associated with these latter dissonances is the observation that souls who are native to this earth and whose frequencies are native to third density (having never risen above third density) can seem rather asleep by comparison, and because these salt-of-the-earth souls greatly outnumber the wanderers, the soul of the wanderer is understandably perplexed, even in the company of other wandering souls.

The souls native to earth also have a decidedly competitive advantage over wandering souls, not only because of their deeply held (and hard won) knowledge of the way things are and the way things work, but because of their robust capacities to keep their wits about them, making it unnecessary for them to systematically process the pain of feeling separate or excluded to the point of isolation or alienation.

It also helps souls who are native to Earth, where keeping pain and suffering at bay is concerned, that their concerns and interests stay rather narrow in depth and scope, restricted to earthly matters or touching superficially on topics related to spirituality in relation to the cosmos.

Given this context, is it any wonder that the wandering soul is given to agenbite of inwit, to the remorse of conscience, to the persistence of pain, to the tendency of the self to look again into the pain of the self as perceived by the self, especially now with the ongoing transition?

Now, this is not to say that all or even most wandering souls are subject to agenbite of inwit, only that it would not be at all surprising if a good many of them are in fact subject to it more often than not.

If you have cared enough to follow me up to this point, I think that it is safe to say, either (a) you yourself have been subject to agenbite of inwit or (b) you are presently being subject to agenbite of inwit.

The telltale tendencies of agenbite of inwit are twofold: a tendency to be subject to a persistence of pain that underlies everything you say and do and that follows you around wherever you go, as a result of a tendency to turn inward in spite of your best efforts to let go, let be, let flow.

How best to process this persistence of pain with the inner watch?

As a start, it helps to remember that third density is a density of duality intensely felt, unlike densities four and five, where duality is not nearly as intensely felt, and so, it helps to contrast this persistence of pain consciously with its polar opposite, namely, a persistence of peace.

Some years ago, after I broke my ankle, had surgery to reconnect a couple of bones, and had a cast placed on my foot, I saw fit to go deep into meditation to find my peace and ease my pain. I knew from my studies that releasing on peace by releasing my resistance to pain could bring me to a calm and composed place where the pain didn’t seem so intense; I could still feel it, but it didn’t seem to bother me as much.

These same principles of action apply to coping with emotional pain.

With enough patience and diligence, sitting, standing, walking, jogging, or reclining with this kind of pain (I recommend sitting first) and finding the stillness within as a witness to the pain can help ease both the intensity and the persistence of pain. This is a tough act to follow because moving consciously and deliberately into pain runs counter to the human instinct to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

With that said, I have a confession to make about the nature of pain.


Not all pain that can be processed in the moment can be always be processed in the moment; not all pain from childhood that can be processed in a day can always be processed in a day; and not all pain that can be processed in a lifetime can always be processed once and for all.

Pain is ubiquitous, and persistent, but does it serve a higher purpose? Some say yes, some say no. From my reading of the spiritual literature, I am told that pain does serve a higher purpose, as it, among other things, serves to deepen love for oneself and others. I am also told that pain serves no higher purpose, save the earthly purpose of teaching you not to say or do what you said or did to bring about the pain.

On the one hand, the challenge of pain serves as a catalyst for growth.

On the other hand, the challenge of needless pain retards said growth.

Personally, I would not mind living in a world where pain is, not entirely absent (as it does serve a useful purpose of teaching souls valuable lessons), but not so intense and persistent that it makes you (a) question the value of it and (b) inclined to give up on making sense of it.

But then, if I “insist on the resist,” is the ensuing backlash not a function of my resistance?


The following perspective on agenbite of inwit is both affirmative and progressive ~ (a) affirmative because it holds up the dark against the light, and (b) progressive because it builds one layer of understanding onto another in a manner that suggests a guide for inspired action.

This accounting is by no means meant to be definitive or comprehensive; please feel free to replace existing terms with terms that make more sense to you and please feel free to rearrange the order of these terms in a way that feels more aligned with the way you think and feel …

Also, you have my blessing if you share this information with others for the benefit of other wandering souls, either to help awaken them to their respective purposes, to help enlighten their paths at this time on this planet, or to help move them in directions that allow them to serve others.

And so it begins …

~ 1 ~


I trust my truth and my worth or else I doubt my truth and my worth

In my experience on this planet, there is no more important and vital principle of action than trust ~ trust in what I know to be true for me and my experience, and trust in what I know to be my worth as a person and as a spiritual being having a human experience in this vast cosmos.

Here, we are dealing with the task of finding and keeping a deep, abiding trust in the self ~ or with processing a deep, abiding doubt in the self that periodically (or persistently) arises from forming and holding opinions and valuations that are less than truthful and worthy of the self.

As wanderers, we are magical souls out of place in a world of muggles. Our keenly felt sensitivities to pain and suffering bothers them; our depth of warmth and kindness rubs them the wrong way; and our breadth of understanding and appreciation unnerves them to no end.

Our presence here is not welcome, and so we think this is about us.

I’m here to give us a clue: it is not about us; it’s not even about them; it is all about offering our presence and our service in whatever ways we can, whenever and with whomever we can, freely and respectfully, and without imposing our divine wills on anyone for any reason.

As I look around me, I see an incubator for young souls in training. This is not our world, nor does it need to be. Be a model of character and conduct for others to follow, if you must, but remember, they have every right to dismiss and defy all of your conditions and expectations.

Listen, I appreciate our strange predicament, I really do. It’s all too easy to feel out of place in a world that seems oblivious to the incomparable act of accessing inner beauty in tandem with expressing a love of truth, especially as and when it is done so with an exquisite harmony.

Sad to say, this world is full of dreamers and wanderers who feel they have met with deep failure, who feel they have wasted their lives here, who feel they have met with a bad end, but I am here to tell you that no one need ever feel this way, not now, nor in the future of this planet.

We have so much to offer, more than we know, and perhaps more than we care to know, but may I also suggest that we just do the best we can with what we have as a modest platform from which to seek and find and have and keep the so-called bigger and better things in life?

Our success here is found in the journey, not the destination.

As one wanderer to another, how could it ever be otherwise?

Alright, what follows is a very brief summary of the issues that surround existential security and metaphysical trust, which I offer you with deep gratitude to our divine friends upstairs who took the time to send this information through the appropriate channels, if you get my meaning.

One, if you sense a conflict brewing or arising between a desire in your heart and doubt in your ability as you approach a novel experience on your spiritual path, go deep into your heart, and follow your heart. Here, it might help to find your stillness with a daily meditative practice, as the promptings of the heart by way of the small voice within can be quite subtle, and easily missed or misconstrued. Yes, do follow your heart, but be sure to do it with a robust and unique sense of yourself ~ that is to say, without falling prey to the dominant cultural myths of the day.

Two, be aware that your journey here just might involve repeatedly coming to the end of your rope and being compelled to look at choices between doubt and trust, between giving up the faith and keeping the faith, and between despair and promise. For this, the Four Agreements are your magical antidotes: “be impeccable with your word, make no assumptions, take nothing personally, and always do your best.” Also, a reliable method of releasing unwanted feelings (like EFT or the Sedona Method) serves the wanderer well in the grips of agenbite of inwit.

Three, adopt a forgiving attitude for yourself with yourself daily lest you take on too heavy a burden of chronic doubt; this experience we are having is exquisitely designed to have us all fail and come up short almost on a daily basis; in times of risk and stress, cultivate stillness.

Four, any suspicion of personal unworthiness is best met with this reminder: “if your wish to learn is sincere, the door cannot help but open if you knock; if you wish sincerely to have an opportunity to serve, you have but to ask, and this opportunity will be provided.” I would add this: in coming face to face with any catalyst that puts you in doubt about yourself, your truth, or your worth, just ask … “how might this serve?” This pithy, potent question is far easier posed than applied, I know, especially when you’re feeling less than your best (i.e., your absolute worst).

Five, with intentional living, we walk a razor’s edge: on one side lies the energies of golden promise, full of dreams and ideals, within which we seek and find our respective notions of heaven on earth; on the other lies the bleakness of despair, the darkness of night, the hopelessness of being a rudderless, doubting, questioning, suffering soul who has found itself lost in a heaving sea of confusion. Needless to say, a stable and steady life here is difficult to arrange. Through all the ups and downs, allow the feelings, and play the equanimity game with love in mind.

Six, a path of positivity is, by its very nature, full of shadows, filled with doubts and questions, offering a constant stream of opportunities to learn, to choose, to love, to serve, to balance; in the life of an ascended soul, there is no going back to the simplicity of early lessons.

Seven, be prepared to have your principles forged in the fires of experience, especially as and when you pass them off as if you have actually mastered them (disclaimer: I am still learning, too). Go gently into the good night and wear the vest of your expectations lightly, and whatever you do, be sure to renew faith in the fact that there are truly no irredeemable mistakes in this holographic illusion of suffering.

Eight (will this ever end? short answer: no), it is all too easy to feel like a victim (how is your flip switch working these days?). For some, they feel the weight of all that was given up before they incarnated; for others, they feel as if they are drowning in hopes that have yet to transpire; for still others, they cannot help but feel that they are being deafened or even defeated by their own doubts ~ all of this is acceptable, all of it satisfactory, for truth be told, we did not come here to be happy, or even to be satisfied; we came here to work, to learn, to love, to serve.

Nine, the mind is forever inclined to ask: Where am I going? What is the best way to go? Very logical, and yes, sometimes it works to answer these questions, but not often, not if a spiritual path is being followed. What typically works spiritually is the simplicity of a faithful patience that, when in doubt, sees the doubt, sits with the doubt, accepts the doubt, forgives the doubt, and then chooses to rest in faith, which is not to say that action is rarely if ever a good idea; we came here to say and do all of the things we know in our hearts are not all that loving or wise.

Ten, from the perspective of one who works the spirit, all is well. All of the many doubts and discords that brew in the heart or rise to the mind are not only acceptable, they’re valuable. Only a self in doubt can dig deep below the surface of a busy, complex personality and only a self in doubt can ask the relevant questions with a desire to know and trust its truth and its worth. These questions are a necessary and positive part of probing for truth, of seeking and finding value in the living, the loving, and the learning. Put simply, these things are well; this is good work.

Eleven, the basic plans for our lives were already made, the basic patterns already set, in the Rings of Destiny, and they were the best plans and patterns that we and our higher selves were able to design for our lives here on earth at this time. Ultimately, all we need to do is let it happen, let it play out, let the plan and pattern be followed, keeping eyes open and feelings flexible, while spreading the love.

The consciousness in you that presently calls on your bigger self in sixth density to keep guiding you in the here and now is one that gazes at the world with genuine humility and says, “in and of myself I see only illusion; I must seek further.” Know that seeking is the key to contact with this greater self, this larger edition of you. Know also that this higher self is not an authoritarian presence; it cannot choose for you that which you must or must not do. Each decision is yours to make, and no responsibility for it can ever be given to any higher self, teacher, or guide.

Each and every self is responsible for the trusting or the doubting of a Self.

As I said, a very brief summary of the issues that surround doubt and trust.

Remember, you’ve already made the choice to serve others; here’s yours:

Do I trust my truth and my worth or do I doubt my truth and my worth?

~ 2 ~


I open to experience with humility or I defend against experience with Pride

Humility is the rarest of gifts, born of simplicity, presence, patience, and a humor that is both gentle and subtle, but it is by far the most difficult lesson to learn and master, as it is the crown jewel of spiritual ascension. The gift of humility is a resting place for anyone who cares to pause along the way, who cares to rest in the bosom of one who is no judge, of one who sees all as the beloved whom one serves without expectation. Here, are we talking only of ascended masters who guide souls invisibly from the Great Beyond and of sages whose deep wisdom is born of countless incarnations? Or might we wanderers give or get a taste of humility in our interactions and/or transactions with the unawakened?

Truth: Pride feels good.

Here, you must know that I’m not talking about the small-p pride of accomplishment. I’m talking about the raw, gritty, ass-kicking defensiveness that underlies a good solid well-aimed kickback.

I hear you laughing, yes I do, dear reader, but is this not truer than true?

And surely you must know that this does not mean giving up on humility?

But then, the warrior in you didn’t come here to surrender, did it? Yes to humility, no to humility; yes to humility, no to humility ~ can you not feel the dilemma here between the Self and ego?

I open to my experience until I realize I am attracting someone or something that doesn’t feel so good, and then I close myself off from this experience until I realize I am paying too much attention to it and attracting more of the same, and so, I open to my experience to something new and fresh until I realize I am attracting someone or something else that doesn’t feel so good, and then I close myself off from this …

And so, on and on and on it goes, where it will end, no one really knows …

Maybe you contain your experience, like so many do, to an energetic box of experience ~ you know, your own home, your own car, your own smartphone, your own laptop, your own cubicle or workspace, your own this, your own that, all for the safety, security, stability, and convenience, like so many comfort zones wrapped up in a gift box of energetic goodness presented to others with their own gift boxes.

“Hi, how’s your energetic box these days? Has it been serving you? Yes? Awesome!” Hmm, I see, well, I must say, my energetic box feels so much more safe, secure, stable, and convenient than your energetic box. What else can I say? It’s good to be me and it sucks to be you.

Ah yes, humility, the crowning virtue of sages and ascended masters.

Alright, enough of this huffy puffy Pride; let’s explore the wonder, beauty, and harmony that is humility.

First, it’s one thing to speak of humility as if you have any claim to it whatsoever, even a small one; it’s quite another to actually embody and demonstrate even a moment of humility with a soul whose Pride-filled ego is lost on a desert island of separation, exclusion, or isolation.

Which begs the question: does humility presuppose a lack or loss of self-worth or does humility indicate a restful, peaceable nature alive, awake, and alert to love in the moment? For the sake of humility, do not even dare gloss over these questions with a Prideful dismissal.

Humility is restful because it rests on trust ~ trust in truth and trust in worth ~ and because it rests on trust, it is peaceable; it can offer its profound peace without judgment to another in a way that says, yes, I can be here for you, without condition and without expectation.

When I speak of a profound peace, I speak of the biblical peace, the one that passeth all understanding, a timeless peace that is curiously and thankfully accessible in every waking moment, if only the time and energy are given to access its awesome presence, promise, and power.

Speaking of moments, there are passive moments that tempt and distract us with all manner of trivialities, and then there are painful moments that fluctuate with all manner of tensions and hesitations; by way of contrast, a wholly, fully embodied humility remains at choice with passive and painful moments, with present moments that are alive, awake, aware, and alert to whatever comes up or goes down with the experience.

If all experience were positive experience, how would truth and worth, and therefore trust, ever be known? If all experience resonated with positivity, how would it even be possible to know this without the injection or infection of negativity, difficulty, or adversity? Any ideas?

Let’s take this even further.

If all experience were perceived as positive experience, by way of these Polyanna bon mots, “it’s all good,” then would it not be the case that everyone and everything is true and worthy, and therefore trueworthy, that is to say, trustworthy? Or maybe the truth and worth of anyone or anything is wholly subjective, that is, completely arbitrary, in which case, who or what is really trustworthy?

I have heard it said, and perhaps you have, too, that those who tend to embody humility are those who tend to allow, observe and then act, rather than react. Sounds awfully good on paper, doesn’t it? Maybe, just maybe, there is some room for Pride after all. What do you think?

But then again, maybe not, not if you truly care about peace and being peaceable.

I can be in the flow, minding my own business, and it’s like … “dude, dudette, it’s all good,” and then … wham … I’m hit with a discordant note. Whoa, that didn’t feel so good, that didn’t feel so right. Wait a moment, was it me? Did I say something bad? Did I do something wrong?

Needless to say, humility runs a whole lot deeper than this sort of monologue. What if the deepest humility has a center of gravity where no words are spoken at all, where only observations are made, feelings are felt, and actions taken at choice with the current holy moment?

Perhaps the magical personality is grounded in humility, and in the strongest sense, paradoxical though it may seem, wholly grounded in the very truth and worth of the Self. Like a ribbon being unfurled behind you, pitch perfect wisdom is released in every moment you accept it.

~ 3 ~


I know I am not better than you or I am foolish enough to think that I am

The ages-old earthly presumption that “I am better than you” (and not just “I am better than you at …”) could very well start here with a cursory examination of this declaration of intent:

My will is to do the will of God.

The presumption of betterment is profoundly offensive as it reduces the preciousness of being to the speciousness of having at the expense of being. If the law books were ever to represent and reflect the extent of this profound violation, the law courts would be filled to overflowing.

The erasure of being with a mere presumption shows up in all forms of harassment and discrimination, pitting sex against sex, race against race, class against class, ethnicity against ethnicity, religion against religion; it has been the bane of humanity for a very, very long time.

One proposed antidote to this vile and poisonous presumption is this: my will is to do the will of God. If most everyone were to embody this declaration for themselves, aligning themselves under one banner, perhaps no one would see fit to swallow the presumption of betterment.

But can you not hear God chuckling? If God wanted to embody, explore, express, and experience what God already knows, with and through and from and for each and every one of us without exception, why on earth would God even want any one of us to do God’s will in toto?

The illusion of separation is absolutely required for the divine sparks of being that we are to embody, explore, express, and experience the reality and morality of God in all of God’s glory, subtlety, and majesty, except that there’s a big risk to bear: the presumption of betterment.

Also, what is to stop one group of believers from proselytizing, promulgating, and enforcing one version of God’s will while another group of believers proselytize, promulgate, and enforce yet another version? And because this presumption writ large is so pernicious, and therefore poisonous, a unified collective will that would presume to think, feel, choose, and act under one banner does not seem at all possible.

Given the illusion of separation, of which nothing can be done directly, how best to negotiate and navigate, intelligently and wisely, morally and legally, the vile, pernicious, poisonous ages-old bane of humanity that is the presumption of betterment, namely, “I am better than you”?

Or, to put a collective spin on this presumption, “we are better than you”?

First, it would help to understand where this presumption is coming from.

The presumption of betterment is secondary to a much deeper, more powerful presumption that I call the presumption of buoyancy: I am trustworthy because I am good and because I am good enough (subjective version) and we are trustworthy because we are good and because we are good enough (collective version). Buoyancy begets betterment.

Both of these hidden assumptions ~ buoyancy and betterment ~ drive and direct much if not most human conduct and behavior in third density life, and as this world makes the transition from third density to fourth density, these ages-old presumptions are being forced out of hiding.

In any given human tribe, expectations of conduct and behavior are expressions of these two underlying presumptions: once it is established ~ judged by those deemed worthy by consensus of passing judgment ~ that the souls within a tribe are “good and good enough,” and therefore praiseworthy of inclusion, or at least not blameworthy of exclusion, where the satisfactions of their needs are concerned, then their competition for access to scarce resources within the tribe begins: who is better (than the other) at fixing this, at judging this, at building this, et cetera?

In the heat of action, subjects become good (or better) objects of utility.

In today’s digitally (dis)connected world, “I am trustworthy (good and good enough)” goes hand in hand with offering something of value within one’s tribe of choice, and “I am better than you” goes hand in hand with the offering better meeting the needs or desires of those who seek it.

Human life on this planet has moved in its evolution of the presumption of buoyancy from an obsession with compulsively avoiding separation from the tribe to an obsession with compulsively ensuring connection with the tribe; humanity has also moved in its evolution of the presumption of betterment from being obsessed with competing compulsively for scarce resources to being obsessed with cooperating compulsively for scarce resources.

These obsessions and compulsions are ultimately driven by all manner of fear (doubt, worry, concern): the fear of exile and the fear of death; the fear of abandonment and the fear of entitlement; the fear of lack and the fear of loss; a fear of not knowing and a fear of the unknown.

Among many, many other derivative fears (doubts, worries, concerns).

We live on a planet whose members of the dominant species (homo sapiens) are (a) conditioned by fear with the presumption of buoyancy (“I am trustworthy”) and (b) programmed through fear in accordance with the presumption of betterment ~ “I am (or we are) better than you.”

The essential challenge for humanity at this time is not to rid itself of these presumptions once and for all (impossible in third density), but to infuse them with love, trust, and compassion in the light of wisdom.

Normally, in the course of daily living, we don’t usually make a point of making any of this explicit, but if we are to understand the influence and impact of Pride (and the other so-called deadly sins) in undermining trust and suppressing humility, it would likely help to do some digging.

But what has any of this to do with the wanderers among us?


Let’s do some digging.

~ 4 ~


I meet challenge with alacrity or else I grow weary and vulnerable to slight

There is more to the subject of spiritual vitality than meets the eye and ear.

The wanderers among us must learn, positively and absolutely, to pace themselves, in a world that can only be described as fear-ridden and fear-driven, one that has so far failed to meet the challenge of transition from third to fourth density, or else succumb to spiritual exhaustion.

At this point, the learning curve for doing so is steep for those who have yet to awaken, not so steep for those who are undergoing a process of awakening, and not all that steep for those who have awakened fully. Before I address the subject of vitality, let us review the major lessons:

(1) agenbite of inwit, the remorse of conscience, the persistence of pain, looking again into the pain of self as perceived by self, is a concern for many if not most wanderers who are on this planet at this time

(2) an ongoing awareness of agenbite of inwit can serve as a precautionary measure for those who would meet doubt with trust, Pride with humility, foolhardiness with wisdom, and vulnerability with vitality

(3) the affirmation, I trust my truth and my worth or else I doubt my truth and my worth, serves as a basic spiritual guideline for meeting the presumptions of buoyancy and betterment that drive humanity

(4) the affirmation, I open to experience with humility or I defend against experience with Pride, serves as an essential guideline for melting the presumptions of buoyancy and betterment with truth and trust

(5) the affirmation, I know I am not better than you or I am foolish enough to think that I am, serves as a quick reminder to bring love in the light of wisdom to the presumptions of buoyancy and betterment

(6) the presumption of buoyancy, “I am trustworthy because I am good and because I am good enough,” is presumptuous because the trust in question is construed as conditional, and therefore must be earned

(7) the presumption of betterment, “I am (we are) better than you,” is presumptuous, not only because its reduces a subject(s) of vitality to an object(s) of utility, but because it virtually replaces being with having

(8) the challenge for humanity at this time is not to rid itself of the presumptions of buoyancy and betterment, but to infuse them with the presence of love, trust, and compassion in the light of wisdom

I have a carefully crafted protocol that I can share for meeting this essential challenge, but before I present it towards the end of this treatise, let us return to the subject of meeting spiritual vulnerability with spiritual vitality (and vice versa, in the love and light of living with duality).

First, it is important for wanderers to remember that a spiritual vitality conditioned and programmed by fear and presumption is not a spiritual vitality that is consciously informed and inspired by love and wisdom; where the first is dark and heavy, the second is light and carefree.

Second, third density is the density of choice, which involves, and requires (at least to some extent), the self-consciousness that comes with and from fear, doubt, worry, and concern that make possible the give-and-take of learning, growing, and flowing in and out of consciousness.

Third, the essential lesson to be learned from a conscious spiritual vitality in shepherding the transition from third to fourth density is to make clear the distinctions between role and real, between sin and sinner, between having and being, while wearing the vest of expectation lightly.

Fourth, wandering shepherds do well to manage and, if possible, master the play of vitality and vulnerability, by being receptively, reflectively, responsively vulnerable to vitality driven by fear and presumption, while being decisively, effectively, and proactively vital with vulnerability.

Fifth, discernment is required where the unawakened are concerned: among these unawakened are wandering souls who have been caught up in the maelstroms of spiritual vitality infected with fear and presumption; it would do us well to bear this in mind when bringing love and light.

Sixth, meeting, melting, and exposing the presumptions of buoyancy and betterment require great care, that is, with profound trust in self, with a deep humility, and with an ever growing wisdom; this work is to be taken lightly, that is, with a light touch, and with a consciousness of love.

Seventh, this journey is ultimately one that is taken alone, as one who is sovereign, but it is also a journey that can be shared with those who likewise see the value in holding, showing, working, or bringing the light; the reason will be evident in the next section on psychic greeting.

As for practical measures, here are some quick tips for tapping vitality and vulnerability:

(1) aim to master the art of doing nothing, beautifully and harmoniously, and then resting and restoring, renewing and refreshing afterward; take every opportunity to be, to know, to love, to trust who and what you are, even if this means surrendering to the flow of what is (and is not)

(2) know and trust that there can be no spiritual exhaustion where and when the heart of soul remains open to giving and receiving service in the light of wisdom; here the operative word is “open,” as in “I remain open to having my service continually refused, rebuffed, or rejected”

(3) even in this digitally (dis)connected world, a sense of emotional, mental, and spiritual isolation is par for the course, even for the most spiritually advanced of wanderers; if at all possible, seek to give and receive the security and solace of like-hearted souls and spirits

(4) remember who you are and why you came here: to make countless decisions to infuse the moment with love and wisdom; when your spirit is feeling weary and overwrought, it is especially helpful to ask this simple question, courtesy of Ra: “where is the love in this moment?”

To round out these tips, here are some poetic words of love and wisdom from Q’uo:

If you are too weary to move on, if that is the sense that you get at this point, then we say to you: lighten the load. Remove expectations from your own self and allow yourself to play, to be as the daisies that dance upon the wind, carefree and blameless. You do not have to learn today. You do not have to work today. You have to do only that which is in your heart to do.

We come now to the most controversial and potentially painful section of this treatise.

Reader discretion is strongly advised. Intense triggers ahead …

~ 5 ~


I tap the potential of psychic greetings or I resist their power to instruct

Those for whom the exercise of power and control (with love and compassion, through the light of wisdom) is important are understandably resistant to situations, interactions, or transactions where a lack or loss of power and control is a potent catalyst for learning and growth.

And yet, it is generally recognized that one cannot always be in control.

For one, the inherent duality between consciousness and unconsciousness (with the ever murky subconscious in between) brings a contrast between the duality of knowing and not knowing. Certainly, the subconscious can be programmed to a certain extent, but because we remain organic in our being and doing, a fully conditioned and programmed human is no longer a human being, but a human doing.

For two, given that we are inherently organic, not synthetic, with a very large capacity for not knowing everything we need to know as and when we need to know it, we are susceptible to the influence of subliminal messaging. Carefully crafted ads are a popular example. Split-brain experiments have shown that the mind can sense or perceive without ever being conscious that it is sensing or perceiving.

For three, the mind is capable of receiving direct messages from seemingly nowhere. When someone hears and heeds a loud voice in their heads to “stop!” and then watch in astonishment as a large object drops in front of them, one is given to wonder the who and the where. It is clear as crystal that someone yonder was looking out for the subject in question; it is also clear that someone yonder might do the opposite. In other words, the psychic greeting can have either good or bad intent.

This admission, if taken to heart, opens up a big can of worms that can fundamentally alter the way a person relates to reality: if someone or something undermines or overwhelms one’s sense of control without apparent motive or reason, was it by chance, or … was it a greeting?

To get the full flavor of psychic greetings and their influence, for good or for ill, however, one must be willing to step back and look at the big picture, and by this I mean viewing life as a soul from a perspective that extends beyond a single lifetime, and for this, one might do no better than to tap the insights of many reputable individuals who have explored in depth the phenomenon of lives between lives (LBL).

The LBL phenomenon has been documented with evidence from transcripts of souls who have undergone hynoptic regressions to previous lives between lives, and is complemented by testimonies of lucid death experiences and tales of reincarnation with verifiable story elements. The channelling of information and inspiration from credible, reputable sources in time/space beyond space/time adds to the overall picture.

The studies are exhaustive and point to these conclusions: we are spiritual beings having a human experience; we chose to incarnate with a plan, a purpose, and a pattern to explore the substance and scope of one or more themes; we are supported in our learning by fellow souls and guides, both in space/time and from time/space; and we are susceptible to influences that might not always have our best interests at heart.

In space/time, a soul operates in three dimensions of space (height, width, depth) and one dimension of time (before and after); in time/space, a soul operates in three dimensions of time (stop, start, switch) and one dimension of space (here and there). Space/time and time/space are two complementary mirrors, offering the illusions of life and death, except that time/space is invisible most of the time to those in space/time.

Suppose a soul undergoes a lucid death experience. In time/space, this soul has access to various timelines in space/time, so for example, it might visit a group of friends in space/time and observe them on one timeline with no sense of time passing. In time/space, it can move quickly, switching perspectives from seeing them in their space/time past to seeing them in their space/time future and then see them in the present.

Space/time is not invisible to those who inhabit time/space, which means that a soul in time/space has access to timelines running backwards and forwards in space/time. That is, souls in time/space can understand, anticipate, and influence the events of souls arising in space/time.


Because they can, and because by helping or hindering other souls from afar (in time/space), they satisfy their respective service imperatives, either in serving the other by helping, for example, by shouting “stop!” as a warning of impending danger, or in serving the self by hindering, by interfering with an unwitting soul’s path, purpose, or pattern so as to energize their own sense of power to deceive, manipulate, and exploit.

Here, it is important to understand that souls choose to incarnate with certain limits, before birth and after birth, in order to learn and grow from them. Such limits create biases and distortions in their points of view so that souls might love, learn, balance, and accept their opposites. For example, a young soul might acquiesce to a pattern of events that cause frustration so that it might more deeply experience satisfaction. An older, wiser soul might choose to incarnate with a physical ailment; a vulnerability to anxiety, depression, or addiction; or a mental deficit.

Oftentimes, the value of a limit, which from one point of view is an illusion for the purposes of learning and growing, can only be recognized and appreciated in time/space, before the incarnation takes place. The scribe for the Law of One material had this to say about the value of limits:

All of our distortions and thus all of our learning are the result of the limitation of the viewpoint. We limit our points of view consciously or unconsciously, preincarnatively or during the incarnation, in order to gain a certain bias that may then draw unto it the opposite bias and offer us the opportunity for balance. By being able to see each bias as an opportunity for the Creator to know Itself and for us to know ourselves as the Creator, we more and more become able to accept ourselves. We become able to find love and acceptance not only in ourselves but in others who share our characteristics, and our viewpoint is widened by our efforts to learn and to serve. Such growth is not possible without biases or distortions, and these biases and distortions are not possible without the choice to limit the viewpoint in one way or another. So we determine what lessons and services we shall attempt during any incarnation by the way in which we limit our viewpoint ~ Law of One, Book 5, Fragment 49

The light of a soul whose native density is third is not as bright as the light of a soul whose native density is fourth, fifth, or sixth, and so is not as likely to attract the attention of those who would exploit the light. Wanderers are more susceptible to fourth or fifth density interference only because they have more light to shine, and the more awakened and purified they become, the more susceptible they become to interference, at least until such time that they have awakened and purified themselves to the point where have been able to wholly master their lessons.

This interference can be direct, exploiting a wanderer’s chosen limits (and their biases and distortions), or indirect, exploiting the chosen limits (with all of their biases and distortions) of those who have chosen to associate in any way with this wanderer’s path, purpose, or pattern.

The more evolved the path, purpose, or pattern, the more susceptible is the soul who experiences lapses in harmony. Here, even the smallest lapse in harmony can become a target of opportunity for an exploiting soul to intensify and thereby disrupt. By the same token, these attempts to disrupt and exploit can also be viewed and treated as opportunities to heal and make whole, and thereby further the journey of ascension.

Quick, effective, and thorough action is recommended in responding to psychic greetings of the unwelcome kind so as to resolve and balance the bias or distortion at hand and prevent further difficulty and confusion. Another related point is worth noting here: whatever balance of love, wisdom, and power you have chosen for yourself in this incarnation, it is best not to hold onto it, but to give it away and express it fully.

Interference from afar is of two kinds: demonic and archonic. If you are playing with dark energies, you will likely attract demonic playmates. If you are playing with light energies of the denser kind, you will likely attract the attention of archonic (ruling) partners in contrast. The darker the energy, the more demonic the entity; the lighter the energy, the more magical and capable the partner in contrast. Both are quite dangerous, but only if the wandering soul chooses to view them as such, but more often than not, the wandering soul is not even aware of what is happening.

In short, be mindful of your energy, your frequency, your signature vibration, and your native density. If you intend to make a play to lighten the planet’s vibrational frequency, be prepared for some serious interference. Here, it goes without saying that there is strength in numbers.

Of course, this is all a matter of perspective.

To use an extreme example, a soul who starts a meditation group will not attract nearly as much invisible interference as a soul who aims to guide the entire world with benevolent intent, thereby making it really hard for demonic and archonic players to interfere with anyone at all.

In whatever ways they choose to channel their love and their light on earth, wandering souls are well advised to keep trusting their truth and their worth, to keep Pride at bay and stay humble, to be wise to any dark elitist influence, and to stay alive to their respective journeys.

~ 6 ~


I take solace in my solitude or I feel lost and alone inside the bell jar

One of the most effective and destructive ways that a soul who serves the self can run invisible interference on a soul intent on serving the other, and thereby exploit existing limits, biases, and distortions, is to isolate this soul from itself and from the company of other souls.

The ultimate catalyst for spiritual growth in third density can be articulated in three words: love or fear? If a wandering soul is fortunate, it will begin its incarnation in the bosom of a loving, trusting, forgiving caregiver, wrapped warmly and snugly in the arms of unconditional love.

Eventually, this experience of total unity begins to fade; a sense of being separate arises, seemingly from nowhere; the soul contracts (and expands); the soul is restricted and constricted, becoming offended and defended ~ there are beings and things to fear (or so it seems).

As the wandering soul comes into its own, it blossoms forth with a renewed vitality; the world is its oyster and there is both opportunity and possibility aplenty for it to live in love, to learn, grow, mature, evolve, and ascend without limit ~ that is, until one day it hits a brick wall.

The brick wall is a blessing, though, because it serves well to remind the soul why it came here ~ not to seek and find and have the bosom of  comfort yet again, but to sing and dance around the bosom with playful intent, so that it might serve the cause of love in place of fear.

There is no denying that subjects and objects can and do bring all manner of harm and hurt; in such a condition, the options for the wandering soul in this world, in this density, at this time, are crystal clear:

(1) restrict fear enough to have it restrict you;
(2) respect fear enough to have it respect you; or
(3) release fear enough to have it release you

In third density, the density of choice of whether to polarize in service to the self at the expense of the other or to polarize in service to the other, fear is a persistent distortion of love that posits a separation between subjects and subjects and between subjects and objects.

Without fear, wherein lies the value, meaning, and purpose of love?

Without love, wherein lies the value, meaning, and purpose of fear?

When the soul is done singing and dancing around the bosom with playful intent, it takes its rest in solitude, and in the solace of solitude, by ways and means that seem forever meditative, devotional, and contemplative in nature, serving to bring a loving, lasting, resting peace.

The peak of fulfillment at the end of this life finds a heart on fire with a desire to love; there is no cold in this illusion that this fire cannot thaw, for the worst this world can do is render lifeless the body bound to time and place; knowing this, the soul can afford to relax and take itself lightly.

In the meantime, what is a wandering soul to do if or when it finds itself inside the bell jar, and suddenly feels separated, excluded, isolated, or even alienated from itself, others, or the world at large?

First, take a slow, deep breath. Inhale to a count of 6, pause, and then exhale to a count of 8. Repeat as necessary until you feel calm and relaxed enough to contemplate your next steps, if any. Apply this type of breath any time you feel distressed, in fear, or out of control.

Second, stop looking for your feet, if indeed you are still fortunate enough to have them or have them be in good working order. If you do, you can rest in the assurance that they are still there, waiting for your permission to sing and dance around the bosom with playful intent.

Third, what informs, inspires, and sustains one soul might not inform, inspire, and sustain another. Any soul, wandering or otherwise, even one on the verge of death, can dig deep within itself for the wherewithal to seek and find its own sources of inspiration that feel good and right.

Fourth, be ever mindful of the moral and spiritual vacuums that are currently sucking the life out of humanity, while at the same time being ever mindful of the wellsprings of health and vitality that continue everfresh, renewing life and love on this planet beyond the digital domains.

Fifth, let no one dissuade the solitary soul from seeking solace in solitude. If it is in your nature to seek it, then seek it without apology. Better yet, seek it with a view towards letting go, letting be, and letting flow; the splendors of nature do wonders for the weary wandering soul.

Alone, each soul is a seed of infinite love and light, and the blossoming will come, but not before the soul occupies many bodies, resting and moving and rising through many densities, until such time that the blossom is simply perfect, ripe and ready for the ultimate perfection.

So, dear wandering soul, take your time and enjoy the ride, in or out of the bell jar.

~ 7 ~


I am alive to promise or I am dead to that place where dreams used to be

This world could be going to Hell in a handbasket and only a select few would know about it ~ at least at first ~ but as it became ever more obvious to more people that something was seriously wrong with the way this world was going, the cause would eventually come to light.

Or would it?

What if the taproot of this cause had many roots? What if the symptoms of these causes seemed unrelated? What if one central cause could in fact be known but known only to those with a need to know it? Even if a few inquisitive, investigative souls with no need to know spent months, even years, digging for the unvarnished truth and found it out and shared it with as many as they could, who would believe them? If the news was particularly bad (and scary), who would want to believe them?

We live in the worst of times (for those struggling to keep their heads above water and for those struggling to keep up) and we live in the best of times (for those with the will and the wherewithal to take advantage of most everything this world has to offer), but even so, the smell of rot is in the air, especially at ground level, where a large portion of earth’s population is bearing the weight and the brunt of those above them.

The closer one gets to the top, the more self-serving the energy; the closer one gets to the bottom, the greater the compulsion to serve the other. Overall, there is no real freedom on this planet, save the freedom to look out for number one ~ or each other. There is this consolation: if or when the bottom does give out, everyone and everything will go down with it, and the opportunity to start anew will again present itself.

Dreams are made of possibilities meeting opportunities. Where there is a possibility of life and an opportunity for life, there is a possibility of life that feels good and an opportunity for life that feels right.

For as long as we remain alive to possibility and opportunity, we are alive to the presence and promise of life and love in that hallowed place where dreams are conceived, incubated, cultivated, and delivered.

The feeling of isolation that leads to alienation that can sometimes lead to complete and utter despair is a symptom of a spiritual gift that runs much deeper than the feeling of despair that is a mere symptom. The spell of this desperate feeling is broken the moment it moves from being to having: “I am not in despair; I am merely in a place where I can observe, welcome, allow, and release this cold, dark, heavy weight.”

The wandering soul, from the moment it awakens to the realization of who and what it is and why it is here, is here to offer up the remainder of its incarnational experience, trusting that, at some point, giver and receiver, the giving and the receiving, accord with the highest of ideals.

Since the Law of One material was channelled back in the early 1980s, the wanderers among us have been coming into their own in ways and by means that have collectively transformed the consciousness of this planet. A clue that this is so comes from Barbara Fredrickson in her book, Love 2.0:

That’s because people with higher vagal tone, science has shown, are more flexible across a whole host of domains ~ physical, mental, and social. They simply adapt better to their ever-shifting circumstances, albeit completely at non-conscious levels. Physically, they regulate their internal bodily processes more efficiently, like their glucose levels and inflammation. Mentally, they’re better able to regulate their attention and emotions, even their behavior. Socially, they’re especially skillful in navigating interpersonal interactions and in forging positive connections with others. By definition, then, they experience more micro-moments of love. It’s as though the agility of the conduit between the brains and the hearts ~ as reflected in their high vagal tone ~ allows them to be exquisitely agile, attuned, and flexible as they navigate the ups and downs of day-to-day life and social exchanges. High vagal tone, then, can be taken as high loving potential.

I take this overview as a potent yet warming blend of science and spirituality, and did you get that she is speaking about an active balance of red ray base, orange ray sacral, and yellow ray solar energies?

Perhaps there is no better intention for wanderers to embrace and embody at this time than the one that follows, serving as it does as a consummating expression of the wanderer’s ultimate reason for being:

In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time, for the highest good of all, I intend and invite more unity, harmony, peace, prosperity, and abundance to come into my life and into the lives of everyone who holds the same or a similar intention.

This post has been filed under Context in the Ultimate Outline.

Note: my evolving outline on approaching a realization of the ultimate in personal fulfillment can be found here, accessible from the nav menu under the page “Be Here Now”.

Note: this ever growing perspective began here: Ultimate Perspective

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