How to Die Before You Die

by Christopher Lovejoy on August 4, 2018

My nose, my belly, and my breath are the keys to my death before my death.

The archaic definition of die is to have an orgasm (look it up, I kid you not), as in, I could easily die to the warmth of her sweet love, but here, the topic of this post is not orgasms, or even the warmth of sweet love, although the warmth of sweet love could be a big part of this topic.

What I wish to share with you today is my take on how to die before you die.


Simple: we choose to die to our past, present, and future programming and conditioning so that we may open to the vitality of new life; so that we may explore, extend, expand, and express the vitality of new life; and so that we may taste, savor, and enjoy the vitality of new life.


Again, simple: by learning how to breathe and by learning how to love your fate to death. This latter instruction will require some intense explanation, and so let us begin with learning how to breathe.

Learning how to breathe? Yes, learning how to breathe ~ with your nose and your belly.

Please understand that the science on this subject is rather precise, and so, let us start with the nose, work our way down to the belly, and then work our way back up to the exhalation itself.


Do you breathe through your nose much of the time or do you breathe through your mouth? The science says that if you breathe through your mouth much of the time, then your breathing is too fast; better to breathe through your nose so that the rate of breathing can slow down.

Take a breath, but take it through the nose. When you breathe (slow and steady!) through the nose, the science says that you want to take this slow and steady breath into the belly, filling up the belly like you just gorged yourself on a big family dinner, at which point you pause for a moment, and then release the breath slow and steady, exhaling slightly more slowly than the inhaling. For example, inhale (through the nose!) to a count of 6 (into the belly!); pause for a count of 1, and then exhale to a count of 8, for a total of roughly 15 seconds ~ four breaths per minute, a dozen breaths in three minutes. In just three breaths through the nose, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system, calming your body and yourself down; in just three minutes of belly breathing through the nose, you activate the prefrontal cortex and increase heart rate variability, shifting both brain and body from a state of (di)stress into a state of feeling calm and in control, having you feel more capable of handling cravings and challenges alike.

Seriously. I’m not making this stuff up; try it right now and see for yourself.


Welcome back.

By itself, breathing slow and steady is but the first phase in the operation to experience your death before your death. With this breathing technique under your belt, you are now ready to enter the next phase to meeting your death before you die ~ loving your fate to death.

Please understand, your fate is not ever to be confused with your destiny.

Up to now, your fate has been everything you have disliked, deplored, detested, and despised about your life. Your destiny has been everything you saw yourself desiring, acquiring, attaining, and accomplishing before you die. Sorry, I just can’t make this distinction any more plain and simple.

Now, why would anyone want to love fate (amor fati as Nietzsche put it)? This is like asking why would anyone want to accept things as they are so that they can stay in touch with reality? Or why would anyone want to forgive anyone or anything so that they can get on with their lives?

Based on these questions, I bet you can guess why you would want to love your fate to death, but just in case you can’t, let me give you this clue: incessant acts of acceptance and forgiveness are wholly unnecessary if you have developed the knack of loving your fate to death.

Can you see why? If not, I invite you to puzzle it out with yourself and/or your friends and family members. Big, bold question coming: how (on earth!) does one even begin to love fate to death?

By learning how to breath and … pay attention now … by holding the space, making the time, and letting it flow, as required. As you can see, I refuse to waste anyone’s time here; I’m shooting straight and already the bull’s eye is getting hit with a precision that would make an archer blush. Take it as a mantra: holding the space, making the time, letting it flow, as required. Repeat it often; say it out loud; sing it out loud; put it into practice daily (I mean, really do this!); write it out a hundred, a thousand, or a million times; share it with loved ones; share it with the world.

Holding the space, making the time, letting it flow, as required.

Your destiny is the clear winner when you can breathe and love your fate to death.

Can you not see how this is so? Awareness is the ultimate key.

Bonus question: is your awareness mostly peaceful, loving, joyous, or blissful?

This post has been filed under Basis in the Ultimate Outline.

Note: my evolving outline on approaching a realization of the ultimate in personal fulfillment can be found here, accessible from the nav menu under the page “Be Here Now”.

Note: this ever growing perspective began here: Ultimate Perspective

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