Light and Lovely Secrets

by Christopher Lovejoy on July 2, 2017

Aggression is both the ultimate cause and the ultimate symptom of a toxic world.

Human aggression is a complex, ubiquitous phenomenon with three flavors – active, passive, and reactive – whose signals are by turns subtle and obvious, and whose effects are by turns toxic and benign.

As a phenomenon in and of itself, human aggression is an interesting topic of study, but when viewed in a deeper, broader context, it becomes downright fascinating – as long as we remain free of its snare.

* * *

The snare of human aggression can be discerned with a key distinction.

Ask yourself: when someone says or does something that triggers a reaction of anger in me, am I angry at this person or am I angry for this person? Do I attack the sinner or the sin? Is my reaction personal or transpersonal? Is the reaction moving through my head, my mouth, my hands, and my feet or is it getting transmuted by my heart? (if, in word and deed, I still have a heart in the midst of the anger).

In my angry reaction, am I bent on revenge and retaliation for me, myself, and I alone, or am I bent on balance and justice for one and all? These are not idle questions, to be considered or even contemplated solely in and from the comfort of a colorful and cushy armchair.

These questions are proactive questions that serve us well in all of our encounters and interactions with others, no matter how closely you perceive them to be to you and your interests or concerns.

Controlled studies indicate that the more you vent, the more you want to vent, not just at the objects of your anger, but also at those who remain innocent of your anger. Venting does nothing to extinguish the flame of anger; rather, it feeds and fuels the flame of anger.

Venting is but one option for dealing with anger (and not a very effective one at that, although it might seem so at the time the venting occurs); here are two others: (1) power down by containing the reaction internally with and from a witness perspective – this requires practice; or (2) power up by diverting the anger from the original source of it towards a safe target (clenching your hand into a fist, striking a punching bag, or squeezing the life out of your angry mood maniac stress wobbler, et cetera) to buy time for moving from angry reaction to hungry response.

If needs be, emulate someone you know who can handle anger mindfully, skillfully, and artfully, or, failing that, emulate (not duplicate) a favorite character from a novel or a movie who is particularly adept at dealing with anger empathetically, from the very depths of heart and soul.

In containing or diverting the anger, one retains a semblance of personal power and sovereignty, with a capacity to process the anger in the aftermath of whatever situation or interaction triggered it.

In the wake of containing or diverting anger, processing and releasing or channelling the anger is something of an art form, and the ways in which you like to process and release or channel the glowing, simmering embers of anger says a lot about who you are as a person.

* * *

Are you a lover, a wizard, a wanderer, or a warrior?

Do you show up in this world to love and be loved, to work your magic, to wander hither and thither, or to move into and through your power with love and wisdom? Are you a specialist in love, magic, peace, or power? Or do you like to dabble in two or more of these?

These four archetypes issue from the depths of human psychology to inform and inspire us, and are not to be taken lightly, as they can easily take on a life of their own. Where anger is concerned, these energetic, catalytic archetypes are not unlike filters by which we feel compelled to perceive, interpret, respond (or react) to the sources of our anger. In this context, let us briefly, carefully consider each in turn:

I am a Lover: I relate to anger so that I can address it through the eyes of love.

At the top of your game, the sensitivity of your loving energy is powerful beyond belief, and is more than welcome when things tend to get out of hand, as your loving, trusting, caring, forgiving, healing energies serve admirably as baking sodas for the electrical fires of anger.

At the bottom of your game, the insensitivity of others is sometimes more than you can bear. Go easy on yourself, do your best to contain the anger when you feel triggered, or, as a last resort, divert it as best you can towards a safe target, and be sure to take some time out to journal through the dying embers or connect with someone who can serve to reflect them back to you in a positive, constructive fashion.

I am a Wizard: I pride myself on being able to prevent or bypass anger with ease.

At the top of your game, the versatility of your applied wisdom is formidable, to say the least, and is most welcome when a situation arises that is beyond help. You know when to say “no” – “no” to involving yourself in situations before they arise and “no” to engaging situations that threaten to get out of hand. You like to keep your nose clean, and this is admirable, as far as it goes, which sometimes isn’t far.

At the bottom of your game, your lack of versatility is embarrassing, to yourself and to others, but especially to yourself, as you tend to hold yourself to a very high standard of conduct and behavior. When you’ve eaten the wrong food, when you don’t get enough sleep or rest, or when you get lazy and sluggish, all of this shows up as incapacity to mindfully and skillfully exercise your foreknowledge and wisdom.

I am a Wanderer: I have it within me to hold my peace, to absorb the barbs of anger.

At the top of your game, your capacity to forgive and forget are near legendary (for how else could you wander far and wide?), and is most welcome when others need a role model for coping with the aftermath of a situation or interaction fueled by intense anger. Your capacity for peace runs deep, such that absorbing and neutralizing the many and various, subtle and obvious, barbs of anger come easy to you.

At the bottom of your game, your capacity to forgive and forget is just that: a capacity – a capacity that can be stretched to the breaking point (or, god forbid, to a boiling point), to the point where you can bear no more (hint: you are still presenting as human, after all). What to do? You know what to do. In a word? Retreat. Retreat into (or, if needs be, create) a sacred space from which to rejuvenate and recalibrate.

I am a Warrior: I expose and confront angry attempts to oppress and subvert others.

At the top of your game, your finely honed abilities to expose and confront subtle expressions of anger aimed at oppressing or subverting the Other inspire awe and wonder, and are most welcome by innocent bystanders when they’ve lost their tongues in the absence of balance, fairness, or justice.

At the bottom of your game, your abilities to expose and confront such expressions become personal: the admirable energies of “angry for” devolve into the despicable energies of “angry at”. Rather than expose and confront oppression or subversion with skill, you let yourself be the oppressor or subverter. Be mindful of your polarization: are you aiming to serve yourself or are you aiming to serve others?

Where anger is concerned, you can either be a specialist or you can be a generalist. Where specialists can operate from the depths of heart and soul with uncommon grace and ease, subtlety and skill, generalists can operate with and through a versatility of skill that can take the breath away.

As an archetypal lover, you relate to anger from a place of love so that you can address it with love; as an archetypal wizard, you prevent anger with magic so that you can bypass it magically; as an archetypal wanderer, you forgive anger as an offering of peace so that you can forget it, peaceably and peacefully; and as an archetypal warrior, you expose anger with a shield so that you can confront it with a sword.

With heart and soul, all of these strategies are valid and welcome, but what happens when the anger is so great in its duration, frequency, or intensity, and the consequences of its shameless indulgence so severe, that the ensuing betrayal becomes too much to humanly bear?

The answer is stupid simple: we band together. I mean, what else can we do?

* * *

I recently had the pleasure and the privilege of watching a strange, highly unusual, yet fascinating British movie with an initial release in early 2010, that has one foot in the genre of Mystery and one foot in the genre of Thriller, that goes by the singular title Exam. I have no doubt the film’s production and direction was informed or inspired by those working in or for the agencies of British intelligence, MI5 and/or MI6.

The relatively low scores in reviews of this film do not do the film justice, as the depth and breadth of emotional intelligence in this film is truly something to behold. By itself, it stands as a captivating study into the nature of human anger and aggression, but it goes much further, serving to highlight subtle and obvious differences between the orientations or polarizations of Service to Self and Service to Other.

The story of Exam is not unlike the story of humanity becoming ever more enslaved by its own foibles and follies, and takes extraordinary pains to show just far seemingly ordinary people are ready, willing, and able to go to secure a desired outcome. Some of its characters are obviously more mindful and mature than others in their handling of anger and aggression, and for this reason alone, I would watch the film.

In watching this film, an invaluable lesson can be learned: to the extent to which someone can transmute, bypass, forgive, or handle anger, without making it personal, is the extent to which they can transmute, bypass, forgive, or handle the effects of human aggression with transpersonal grace and poise.

But what are we to make of those who sink to levels so low that they cease to be human?

The daily news is a revolving door of stories of people who have lost their minds and hearts, devolving into committing unspeakable acts of terror and horror. How many times have you heard it said: “nothing surprises me anymore”, and yet, is there not at least one more thing that can surprise you? What are we to do with the murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and Satanists performing ritual sacrifices of children?

Do we simply round them up and summarily and publicly execute them all in fits of revenge?

If not, do we not realize that their toxic conduct and behavior is poisoning the life out of us?

With all of my knowledge and wisdom, even I find myself hard pressed not to take any of this personally, and so, I find it prudent to take my solace in what is known in certain circles as The Council of Elders.

* * *

A remarkable book that goes by the name of Destiny of Souls is a must-read for those who would rise and shine as cosmic humans in the manner of homo spiritus, and in my three posts on The Ring of Destiny (one, two, and three), I drew on the knowlege and wisdom to be found in chapter 9, but really, where human anger and aggression are concerned, chapter 6 is the place to go for solace and wisdom.

Entitled The Council of Elders, chapter 6 provides invaluable insight into the nature of judgment and justice on the Other Side, where we go after our bodies expire and we pass into the Great Beyond.

I offer here, for your enlightened consideration, an excerpt from this chapter (with a preamble) that serves, at least a little, to enlighten us on the cosmic consequences of human conduct and behavior, especially anger and aggression directed towards ourselves and others.

In reading this excerpt, I find it more than a little comforting and reassuring, with respect to toxic human conduct and behavior, that there are those among us (and beyond us) who are certified masters of love in the light of wisdom. In keeping their presence in mind, I am made all the more mindful of my intentions in life, particularly as they affect the nature and consequences of my own conduct and behavior in life.

More broadly, I see more and more the meaning and purpose of pain and suffering, as opportunities to learn and grow from the feedback that they offer, as much as I would like to resist or refuse its counsel, and so my inclination is to frame human negativity and positivity as two sides of the same coin:


and interpretations
of negativity
are catalysts for growth


and interpretations
of positivity
are the rewards of growth

Cultivating, with presence and promise, a persistently playful sense of meaning, purpose, and direction can have us transform the rigors of life, with all of its pains and strains, dramas and traumas, conflicts and confusions, inadequacies and difficulties, catalysts and challenges.

Some among us are overwhelmed by it all and some among us remain underwhelmed, but for those who can stand their ground, facing up to it all with relative grace and poise, they are well placed to learn to grow to change to balance, harmonize, and unify this world in their favor.

We are well advised to catalyze and transform this world with a “why”, first and foremost, that brings forth a “how” in light of a “what”, and do so with this question at the forefront of our minds from the depths of our hearts: judge not, lest ye be judged? Or … judge, and be prepared to be judged?

In addressing this question by yourself, for yourself, remember the Elders.

To share information and inspiration on what is happening on this troubled yet promising world, I drew up two lists of sites that are serving the causes of personal, global and/or cosmic awakening.

This post has been filed under Application in the Ultimate Outline.

Note: my evolving outline on approaching a realization of the ultimate in personal fulfillment can be found here, accessible from the nav menu under the page “Be Here Now”.

Note: this ever growing perspective began here: Ultimate Perspective


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