Optimize to Actualize: 7

by Christopher Lovejoy on May 7, 2017

Optimize to actualize: ’tis a rather catchy phrase to be sure, and the more in depth and breadth that I explore, examine, and entertain the conditions and processes that underpin “optimize me, myself, and I”, the more amazed I am by the sheer number of ways and means by which to optimize.

Where best to put the attention?

This simple, direct question is a very good question to ask as it dovetails quite nicely with an abiding and enduring interest in approaching a stunning realization of the ultimate in personal fulfillment.

At the very centre of this approaching, at the very core of any approach, is the reality of … desire.


Before you proceed, speak this word aloud, noting how this not-so-innocent word makes you feel.


A desire, by its very nature, is (a) conscious; (b) a feeling, and not just a feeling, but a strong feeling, which contains (c) a sense of wanting (which implies lacking) to have X or to have X happen.

A startling implication here: with no sense of lacking, there can be no sense of wanting – or desire.

From this moment forward, I could declare, based on everything I know about spiritual awakening, enlightenment, and empowerment (which is far more than I care to share), that I lack for nothing.

How is this rather lofty state of being-in-the-world possible?

In a word? Surrender.

Aside: I broached this idea in a post I wrote six years ago

Today, I realize that surrender, positively construed and realized, is, for me, not a simple once-and-for-all realization of the ultimate in personal fulfillment, but a spiritual and evolutionary process of “going up and down and all around” (hint: this is not a simple matter of ascension, or even bicension, as an evolving being is open to receiving the gifts and charms of spiritual depth, breadth, and height).

In other words, unless you know without a doubt that you are indeed as spiritually evolved as you think you are, I do not think it advisable to bypass the reality of desire as a spiritual being in human form.

In speaking these words of cosmic significance, I sense a most curious paradox on the rise here: surrender is desirable for those for whom a true and pure surrender is not yet their default state of being.

For if I were already wholly and fully embodied and expressed through surrender, what need would I have to express a desire for surrender? What need would I have to think and speak and write about surrender? What need would you have to read these words about surrender?

I dare say the reason why I am not already wholly surrendered to surrender, without desire, wanting for nothing, lacking for nothing, knowing that I already have all that I could possibly need and want, is because I have not yet wholly and fully embodied the reality of … love.


Love and desire.

Desire first, so that desire can inform love, and then love, so that love can inspire desire, but then a tipping point is reached, as love takes precedence over desire, until such time that desire is no more …

To wit:

“I want this so that I can love this” yields to “I love this so that I can want this” yields to “I love this”.

“I want you so that I can love you” yields to “I love you so that I can want you” yields to “I love you”.

When I write and speak of love and desire (and the many and various exquisite pleasures that keep the flames of love and desire burning strongly and brightly, actually or imaginally), I serve myself well when I also write and speak to the ever hungry how of happiness.

The most intriguing of all of the scientific findings on the how of happiness, at least to me, can be summed up in these two polysyllabic words: felicific stagnation. If ever you need a reminder of the futility of chasing after your dreams and desires, think “felicific stagnation”.

Anything felicific – anything that serves to promote happiness and anything that is related to an increase in happiness – is subject to a process called hedonic adaptation, which implies a capacity for becoming habituated (with that all too familiar “ho hum”) to almost any change, whether it is perceived as negative (in the depths of agony or despair) or positive (at the heights of ecstasy suffused with hope and joy, with optimism and enthusiasm). In other words, provided we are blessed with “bounce back” (with what I call “buoyancy through resiliency”), feelings negatively received tend to abate with time. By the same token, we also tend to take a whole lot for granted after we fulfill many if not most of our desires.

The implications for a life lived well on the way to ultimate fulfillment are crystal clear: as you keep getting more of what you want, you keep wanting more than what you get, until at last you realize: there’s nothing more that I can want and therefore nothing more that I can get.

This one albeit rudimentary form of realization of the ultimate in personal fulfillment eventually results in a condition called felicific stagnation, which is not an inspiring place to be, but which serves to bring us back to speaking truth to the power of love in relationship with desire.

Until desire is no more (in the presence of love).

Too many words, however, have been spilled about the nature of love, but what is love, really and truly, in a world where performance defines and confines so much of who we are and what we do?

In a world where peak performance dominates so much of the dynamic moving up and down the vagus nerve between the heart and the brain, between feeling and thinking, is true love even capable of being optimized, directly or indirectly? Or are we barking up the wrong tree?

The current science on love points to a tightly entwined trio of events: the experience of one or more feelings, positively perceived by two or more persons; a synchrony of behavior and biochemistry; and a reflected motive to invest in well-being that brings about mutual care.

This sociocentric model of love is fine, as far as it goes, which isn’t far, so let us go further.

In keeping with the eight densities of light in our universal octave, let us explore 8 versions of love, but let us remember that one version is not better than another – merely different in nature and scope.

Love 1.0 is compassionate or celebratory love for self, love embodied or expressed at no one’s expense: “I don’t feel good about myself and here is how I embody love with compassion for me” or “I feel good about myself and here is how I express celebratory love for me.”

Love 2.0 is love for another, in positive resonance with the love that one feels for oneself and one’s life, in service to the value and worth of another – a deep, abiding love that embodies and expresses a unique connection with someone with whom one is intimately familiar.

Love 3.0 is love for more than one other – a couple, a family, or a group with whom one feels securely and comfortably familiar, reflecting an acknowledgment of their unique value and worth in being of service to others without reliance on the juice of having ulterior motives.

We are well placed in the ultimate scheme of things if all we do is practice these three versions of love, but in time, we might find it prudent to push the envelope to expand our capacities to love.

Love 4.0 is love for another – an acquaintance or a stranger with perceived benefits – for whom you feel an undeniable connection. Of course, there is some risk in perpetuating this connection – what if the other is found to be unreliable in love – or worse, unworthy of love?

Love 5.0 is love for the stranger without perceived benefits for whom one feels no connection whatsoever. Here, one brings a robust capacity to enter any human encounter in preparation to love without condition. To say that this is not always easy would be an understatement.

Love 6.0 is love for all manifest beings on this planet – crystals, microbes, trees, flowers, slugs, bugs, fish, birds, animals of all kinds – which includes refraining from doing violence to any of these forms of life and affirming the sanctity of their lives befitting of homo spiritus.

We are especially well placed in the ultimate scheme of things if we can practice these versions of love, but in time, we might find it prudent to push the envelope even further for the sake of love.

Love 7.0 is love for all living manifest beings everywhere in the cosmos, which includes the enlightened ones of the Confederation, the Draco (and other) Reptilians, the Mantid or Mantis insectoid beings, and the Grays and their genetically farmed offspring (Gray-human hybrids).

Love 8.0 is love extended to all beings everywhere, manifest or unmanifest, which includes all manner of interdimensional, extradimensional, lower dimensional, and ultradimensional beings, spirit guides, ascended masters, angels and demons, as well as the twelve archangels.

Love 9.0 is love supreme, a love witnessed as God, as the Goddess, as Source Consciousness; this ultimate form of love presupposes a supreme capacity to love everyone everywhere, manifest or unmanifest, without condition, without expectation, and without reservation.

We need not wait until we ascend to practice or master each one of these versions of love, and so, here are some commonly acknowledged activities from which to embody and/or express the love:

  • embody optimism
  • express gratitude
  • optimize your life
  • be kind to others
  • nurture connection
  • cope strategically
  • forgive to forget
  • grow with the flow
  • savor the joys of life
  • sanctify your divinity
  • celebrate yourself

In light of these suggestions, I feel called to revisit the question that I posed at the start of this post: where best to put the attention, where the growth process “optimize to actualize” is concerned?

From the point of view of someone who can safely allow the universally lawful imperatives of Source Consciousness to move through embodiment and expression both, in soul and in spirit, while being a witness to Love 9.0, at least some of the time, here are my core suggestions:

  1. be present
  2. be of service
  3. be patient

This is not a prescription for the sacrifice of self to other, but an ongoing affirmation of love in the light of wisdom, and so, in my next post, it will be my desire and my pleasure to elaborate on this holy trinity.

To share information and inspiration on what is happening on this troubled yet promising world, I drew up two lists of sites that are serving the causes of personal, global and/or cosmic awakening.

This post has been filed under Integration in the Ultimate Outline.

Note: my evolving outline on approaching a realization of the ultimate in personal fulfillment can be found here, accessible from the nav menu under the page “Be Here Now”.

Note: this ever growing perspective began here: Ultimate Perspective

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