The Relief of Ordinary

by Christopher Lovejoy on May 20, 2012

No one I know wants to be ordinary.

Deep down inside, most people expect to be viewed and treated as worthy – worthy of attention, appreciation, or admiration. No one I know wants to feel excluded or left behind and forgotten.

Did you catch that equivocation? “If I’m ordinary, then I must be unworthy.”

This feels wrong to me.

Ordinary resides with the heart of soul, where peace and love dwell.

Extraordinary arises out of the soul of spirit, where joy and bliss flow.

Believe it or not, both are worthy of your attention and appreciation.

But then, why make personal value an issue if you’re already feeling assured of your worth?

Because pressures to perform, to reform or conform, remain pressing concerns for all but the most autonomous and sovereign among us. Ultimately, we agree to put such pressure on ourselves.

In the face of such pressure, however, we do have a choice.

Unless you’ve fallen victim to Devil’s Breath through no fault of your own, you need not reform, conform, or perform for anyone, at any time, for any reason whatsoever.

You simply need to step back and be – be present to experience, here and now.

This is ordinary in the most extraordinary sense of the word.

In the realm of heart and soul, at ease with peace and love, everyone is equal and equally worthy.

The question remains: how willing are you to make time and space for ordinary value, for ordinary caring and sharing, for ordinary encounters, for ordinary moments?

Think about it.

By definition, ordinary is nothing special; it might even be confused with mediocrity.

When I follow a daily routine, this is ordinary; when I conduct myself with a measure of consistency, this is ordinary; when I keep my things in reasonable order, this is ordinary.

On those days when I wear the vest of my expectations lightly, contentment remains high. I can release any sense of needing that would keep me from exposing and releasing the lacking inside the wanting.

I can allow myself to let go of wanting to control or be controlled; of wanting to love, accept, approve, or appreciate, or be loved, accepted, approved, or appreciated; of wanting to oppose or be opposed; of wanting to defend or be defended; of wanting to protect or be protected; of wanting to be safe and secure or be unsafe and insecure; of wanting to be separate from others or be in harmony with them.

I can release others from the burden of wanting me to be more or less than what I already am.

When I am more than I am, I invariably want for more; when I am less than I am, I inevitably need more than I am; and when I am just as I am, at ease with peace and love, following my bliss with joy, I am ordinary.

I can rest and relax and refresh or restore myself at any moment.

And when I can see without a doubt that what you have or what you do is enough, in that moment, I can at last be kind to you and perhaps even gentle with you.

Certainly, love and compassion are easier to come by, both in the giving and the receiving.

In my lifetime, the soul of my spirit has had more than its share of extraordinary experiences.

Granted, the soul of my spirit still appreciates and admires the extraordinary, but the heart of my soul would also have the soul of my spirit derive value from the ordinary.

Sometimes, connecting from the heart of my soul with the ordinary is not unlike getting a breath of cool, fresh air on a hot, humid day, while taking simple delight in the ordinary is not unlike giving myself a reminder that I’m fine just the way I am.

Any compulsion to reform, conform, or perform falls gracefully by the wayside.

I suppose the lesson for the day is this: be extraordinary, if you must, but for the sake of your heart, for the heart of your soul, remember: ordinary has a place in your life, too.

What a relief it is for me to know this.


This post is the seventeenth in a series that began here.

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