My Life < 5 > My Story

by Christopher Lovejoy on July 5, 2020

aspire not to everlasting life and love;
explore the limits of what is possible!

Hello, and welcome to my world. Today, I aim, not to please, but to play. I aim to play, not a finite game with a fixed set of rules for winners and losers, but an infinite game with an ever-shifting, ever-evolving, ever-ascending set of rules designed for all manner of %&*#@s and $)!(^s.

Wait. What? With whom?

With %&*#@s and $)!(^s.

That sounds like nonsense!


Dude! How can I play any sort of game if I can’t pretend to know exactly who or what I am?



An infinite game is not “any sort of game.” An infinite game has no fixed and fast rules, necessarily. An infinite game also has no fixed and fast algorithms of programming, necessarily. The field of play is wide open. The field of play is wide open because, well … because it’s infinite!

Infinite? As in “too numerous to be counted”?


Infinite, as in “total and all-embracing”?

Again, no.

Infinite, as in “having no limits or boundaries in space or time, extent or magnitude”?



Well, okay, maybe not bingo, for an infinite game need not be a game of chance, necessarily.

Dude, why do you keep saying “necessarily”?

This is such a great question. Let’s explore, shall we?

A Fertile Ground of Being

Huh? A fertile ground of being? Are you getting all woo-woo on me?


It all sounds so deep and mysterious.

Deep and mysterious?

I just wanna go about my days doing the best I can to make the most of what I have. Why complicate?

Ah, but my intention is not to complicate.

Maybe not, but when you start talking about … being … and you compare it to a fertile ground …

I am, you are, and on some level, in some way, I am you. In other words, we share a common bond, and yet … each of us is unique, and so, has anything I’ve said so far sound woo-woo to you?

Not yet.

Not yet?

There’s nothing deep and mysterious about having and doing. Either you have it or you don’t. Either you do it or you don’t. But with … being … well, when we dwell on … being …, do we not risk getting lost in our feelings? Do we not risk losing our connection to having and doing?



Depends on how deeply in touch you are with your feelings.

But I’m not the touchy-feely type.

Let me put it to you this way. If you’re not in touch with your feelings, who are you?

Who am I?

Are you a puppet? A robot? A zombie? A computer made of flesh running a program?

Alright, alright, I can see where you’re going with this. Tell us more …

Never Not Curious About Being and Feeling … Alive

Absolutely. As I’ve already hinted, feeling is a flower of being.

Wait, a flower of being?

You sound incredulous. Listen … I am, I feel … I am alive, I feel alive.

I must admit, these distinctions do make sense …

Here’s another: I know I am alive, and … I know I feel alive.

In other words, feeling is a flower of being and knowing.


Which also conveys the ephemeral nature of feeling.

Yes, feelings do not last for long. They come and go.

Like flowers.

Yes, exactly, while some do last longer than others.

What I hear you saying is that knowing and feeling lead us back to being.

More poetically, knowing and feeling lead us back to the ground of being.

And yet, all three are inextricably linked.

Precisely. There’s nothing fuzzy about this: I am, I know, I feel.

I am … I know … I feel …

Or … I am … I feel … I know.

What’s the difference?

Where feeling implies knowing, knowing gives up a feeling.

Without which … being … would not be possible.

Well, no. Being stands on its own; without being, knowing and feeling would not be possible.

So how is any of this relevant and significant to life and story?

Imagine yourself a busker juggling three flaming swords for a captive audience. Etched into each of the hilts is one of these inscriptions: I am, I know, I feel. The juggle is either mostly a performance informed by purpose or a play inspired by the promise of more, better, or different.

Left brain, right brain.

Nice. Yes. Two attitudes of knowing and feeling.

Basically, two ways to be and feel alive.

One ground of being, two ways to cultivate the ground.

Yes, I can see that; some of us are more inclined to know, others more inclined to feel.

While some of us are more inclined to perform, others are more inclined to play.

Knowing, feeling, and performing …

… or … feeling, knowing, and playing. Exactly.

What more can you say?

Remember what I said earlier about games?

Yes, come to think of it, I do.

What do you recall?

I recall that a finite game is a game with fixed rules that has a clear winner and loser.

In other words, a finite game is a performance of knowing who, what, when, where, why, how, whereas an infinite game is a play of feeling that relies on knowing who, what, when, where, why, how.

A play of feeling … I don’t think I’ve ever heard of this.

A play of feeling ~ with or without a purpose, but never a purpose carved in stone.

You make it sound like players of infinite games have the advantage.

In a way they do, but only because the rules they play by are ever-shifting, ever-evolving, ever-ascending in nature, range, and scope. In a way they don’t because they’re just as restricted as anyone by the rules of a finite game, especially in competition with other finite game players.

Are you suggesting that players of infinite games are cooperative by nature?

Cooperative, collaborative, co-creative … all of these, and more.

You mentioned a play of feeling. Were you talking about spontaneous feeling?

Being and feeling open and receptive to feelings that arise spontaneously is just one way to be and feel alive; knowing when, where, and how to generate a feeling as an expression of being is yet another.

The first feels like play; the second sounds like performance.

Play is typically receptive, perceptive, and responsive; performance is typically generative, competitive, and reactive, but a play of feeling need not be competitive and reactive to be generative. If I know I desire a certain result, I can generate a feeling that draws this desired result.

Play is not constrained by receiving, perceiving, and responding ~ not a bad way to live.

And not a bad way to be and feel alive ~ never not curious about being and feeling alive.

I can see why identity stays fluid, not fixed, but again, is there not a risk of getting lost?

Not if you can find and follow your bliss through peace by finding and following your ground in being and remaining centered in your being. Besides, is there not a risk of getting lost inside a finite game, of getting lost in between finite games as a fickle player of finite games?

Unless you’re dedicated to one finite game your entire life, I would suppose yes.

As would I.

So how do players of infinite games stay found?

What a great question; let’s explore, shall we?

Earth: A Penitentiary for Souls?

Wait, a penitentiary? This sounds serious!

Relax. Earth might seem like a penitentiary for souls, but it’s actually a training ground for souls to guide themselves back to making prudent choices in the face of entropy to decide if they’re mostly in it for themselves or in it for others more often than not ~ it’s as simple as that.

So why play infinite games?

It’s a matter of perspective. Why play finite games that have fixed rules for winners and losers? Because they’re fun and exciting. Because they offer players opportunities to build character. Because the games themselves, if fair and square, are reliable avenues to learn and grow.

You still haven’t answered my question.

I was setting a context to answer your question. Finite games have perceived limits; infinite games do not. Finite game players know what to expect, more or less, more often than not; infinite game players rarely if ever know what to expect ~ never not curious about being alive.

You’ve made some interesting points, but you still haven’t answered my question.

Not yet. I’m still building context, and so, along the way to closure and resolution, let me ask you this: can you see how finite games and infinite games complement each other? Can you see how finite game players and infinite game players might catalyze and challenge each other?

What I hear you saying is that life is the ultimate infinite game and that finite games played on Earth are subsets of this larger game, and so, if you play the ultimate infinite game of life, you’ll have more than a few opportunities to pick and choose among your favorite finite games.

Precisely, but there’s even more to it than that. If one day you find and feel yourself to be an infinite game player playing the ultimate infinite game, your whole relationship to life, and to your life, changes and grows at and from a level most people cannot even begin to imagine.

What I hear you saying is that they reach a threshold of understanding where they release any and all attachments to playing finite games. It’s almost as if they have no choice but to embody and express a perspective that is cosmic in scope to become players of infinite games.

Yes, the choice is compelling, but never a done deal when it’s taken as a choice.

What do you mean?

Well, they can still play finite games as players of infinite games, but with an attitude much reformed.

With an attitude of gratitude?

Not just an attitude of gratitude, which by the way is absolutely key, but an attitude that goes something like this: “this is just one more finite game among an infinite number of such games.”

Which seems to imply an attitude of “easy come, easy go.”

Which does imply an attitude of “easy come, easy go.”

So what does an infinite game look like? And how do players play it?

Great questions both; let’s blow our minds wide open, shall we?

Well, okay, but we pause the moment I feel I’m losing my mind.

Ground Rules for Playing the Ultimate Infinite Game

Players of infinite games know, not as a matter of faith but as a matter of fact, that everything is here and now, and because they know, they abide by the following three rules of engagement in their play:

  1. I live and love, calmly and clearly, at and from the center of my being
  2. I find and follow intuitive guidance at and from the center of my being
  3. I allow synchronicity to manifest in and through all of my encounters

Jesus, dude, this sounds like a helluva lot of responsibility to bear.

I beg to differ, my friend. It might only seem so to those who play finite games.

With all due respect, I still don’t know how an infinite game looks.

Fair enough, but let me first share with you some best practices for infinite game players.

I have a feeling these practices are somehow gonna be aligned with those rules …

Best Practices on the Way to Flow, Freedom, and Fulfillment

I introduced these practices in this post of my My Life, My Story series, but let me say more about them in the context of playing the ultimate infinite game. The four best practices are really just an elaboration of the ultimate fact and the three rules of engagement outlined above.

Please, do elaborate.

The sum and source of all is here and now.

I take it that this is the ultimate fact.

Correct, and a player of the ultimate infinite game knows and cares enough to live and love, calmly and clearly, at and from the center of being, finding and following intuitive guidance at and from the center of being, allowing synchronicity to manifest in and through all encounters.

These are the rules of engagement for the ultimate infinite game player.

Correct. As I bless the present, I pay close attention to what is pure, proud, and perfect in my immediate environment; I compliment whomever and whatever I can, as and when I can; immersed in the moment, I bypass critical analysis and welcome a growing sense of expansion.

Pure, proud, and perfect for you.


You live and love, calmly and clearly, at and from the center of your being.

Essentially, yes. As I tap and tune my nourishment and discernment to energize myself as I go, I attune and align with all available currents of energy, heavenly sights, harmonious sounds, delicious tastes, and delightful aromas as signs of intimate contact with the here and now.

You find and follow intuitive guidance at and from the center of your being.

Essentially, yes, and this, too: as I engage my wisdom, commands and demands that bypass the freedom of my will are construed for what they are: distortions. Ultimately, it’s up to me to make my own choices, to state my own preferences, and to follow up on my own decisions.

Even as you allow synchronicity to manifest in and through all of your encounters.

As I open myself to extending myself into my immediate environment with an expansive situational awareness of who, what, when, where, why, and how, I make contact with infinity, feeling into people, places, or things as if they were no more separate from me than my hands or feet.

With this sort of connection, synchronicities are bound to manifest.

And more often than you might think, as long as you pay attention.

So what does all of this have to do with life and story?

Let’s give readers some time to wonder and ponder …


Wait, before you go, do you have time for one more question?

I feel as if I have all the time in the world …

Yes yes, of course. Here’s my Q: can we learn and grow from games that are not fair and square?

How else do you think finite games become the ultimate infinite game?

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