Ultimate Fulfillment 78

by Christopher Lovejoy on October 4, 2015

In my post on divinity begetting ever more divinity, I referenced humanity as a species of the living dead, having succumbed, for the most part, to a matrix of control, in a world where an unusual amount of energy is expended to maintain a controlled, contrived, conformed, conditioned consensus reality.

Truth be told, this dead (and potentially deadening) reality is designed for those among us who lack the awareness to awaken to the truth of who they are at the heart of soul, who lack the wherewithal to enlighten themselves spiritually to the evergreen presence and power of love in the light of wisdom.

I have found it helpful to hold these souls, not in contempt, not with disdain, but with simple compassion, informed by a genuine humility and hope that they too one day will awaken and enlighten to a reality that lives and breathes above and below the seemingly concrete reality formed and conformed by consensus.

In the meantime, allow me to speak to those who find themselves awakened and/or enlightened.

In my experience, if awakening is a matter of soul with respect to identity, answering who am I, really?, while holding a sacred space for this answer, then enlightening is a matter of spirit with respect to causality, such that we grow and flow with grace and ease into being at cause as sovereigns who have learned to rule ourselves with an iron a diamond fist, taking full responsibility for every aspect of our personal reality. In light of this distinction, consider this question, which is also the subject of this post: how might we open up a relationship with divinity to infinity?

In a field of infinite possibilities, in an infinite field of possibilities, virtually nothing is certain; everything is open – open to realization, metaphysically speaking, and open to interpretation, epistemologically speaking. If we care enough to step onto this field consciously (we’re already there, but can we summon the presence of mind to be conscious of it?), we open ourselves up to the experience of uncertainty.

If I do this, what will happen? I don’t know. If I try this, what will happen? I don’t know. If I give this away, what will happen? I don’t know. If I take this, what will happen? I don’t know. If I offer this, what will happen? I don’t know. If I accept this, what will happen? I don’t know. If I work with this, what will happen? I don’t know. If I play with this, what will happen? I don’t know. If I turn this down, what will happen? I don’t know . . . I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. How many times do we need to say “I don’t know” before we realize that almost nothing is certain on the field of infinite possibilities?

Where there is uncertainty, however, there is certainty – the certainty of not knowing – of not knowing “this, that, or the other thing”, of not knowing anything at all about anything save the one thing that matters most of all: that I am as I am when and where I am for the very simple reason that I am.

With all due respect to Descartes (and with thanks to Heidegger), “I am” is far more fundamental than “I think”. A sacred embodied “I am” is just as significant (if not more so) as any embodied “I think”.

The mature egoic core of I am as I am when and where I am for the very simple reason that I am is in charge of the master switch, in charge of discerning when and where to flip the switch in favor of “let it be” (from a witness perspective, for the sake of rest and relaxation, contemplation and realization) and when and where to flip the switch in favor of “make it so” (through a blissiplined will to power).

This is consciousness at its deepest and highest, at its most awakened and most enlightened.

Surrounding the egoic core is the heart of soul, a vessel of awakened, embodied love and wisdom that serves to contain and receive those memories that have been deemed significant and relevant to the evolution of spirit. The language of heart and soul is the language of encounter, involvement, and realization. The heart of soul is where we hold the sacred space in answer to the question: who am I, really? Speaking personally for a moment, the heart of soul is where I invite an encounter with a soul of serenity inside a space of intimacy. Being at peace with presence inside my own space of intimacy occasions opportunities to be present to peace inside a space of intimacy between two souls.

In each moment, on a field of infinite possibilities, every encounter with heart and soul is evergreen, everfresh, everpresent, with absolutely no way to know who is going to show up, who is going to leave, what is going to happen, when and where it is going to happen, or why.

The controlled, contrived, conformed, conditioned consensus reality under which so many of us labor falls away with delicious ease.

In its place, we find an awakened, embodied heart and soul that is given free reign by the egoic core to be vulnerable to the renewing and renewable energies of peace and love, realized and realizable as serenity through intimacy, to grow in its evergrowing capacity for spiritual expression by way of joy and bliss.

If any of this sounds strange to you, it might be because you have locked yourself into a consensus reality that cares little (if at all) about the sanctity of your “I am” at the core in the the heart of your soul, but even if you do care enough to step outside of this consensus of containment, if only for a while, you still face the realities of not knowing – of not knowing whether you can, of not knowing whether you should, of not knowing whether you must – all of which serve up contrasts with which to work or play, provided you are conscious enough of their significance and relevance.

access-deniedMany times we are not conscious enough, and this is perfectly fine. When we summon the courage and the gumption to put ourselves “out there”, when we expose our deep and sacred “I am” to the unrelenting uncertainty of being on the field of infinite possibilities, we risk having “access denied” flash on the interfacing screen between Self and Other, which is when that gang known as fear, doubt, anger, and those evil twins known as blame and shame come pay a visit, meeting and greeting us with lascivious eyes and malicious grins. “Come play with us!” they exclaim, chortling in unison. “Come play with us!” “Come play with us!”

In light of this opportunity to serve the Self exclusively, to the exclusion of the cares and concerns of others, can you see where the heart of a soul holding a space for sanctity might come in handy? Can you see where cultivating a sense of the sacred might serve Self and Other?

The fundamental choice point between Service to Self Only and Service to Self and Other is a potentiality that obtains in each and every moment of our lives. With every encounter with soul, there is a corresponding experience of spirit. We can hold the space for sanctity in our encounters with others, allowing divine experience to arise naturally, spontaneously, and effortlessly, or we can forgo this space, forcing our way into an experience that appears divine, that appears beautiful and harmonious, but is actually sadly and sorely lacking in serenity and intimacy.

We would do well to remember to ask, when things don’t go our way, when life doesn’t go our way, when we don’t get our way, when “access denied” flashes yet again on the field of infinite possibilities: am I being restricted or am I being protected? Did I say or do something to deserve this denial of desire or did someone from beyond just intervene on my behalf and save me a whole mess of trouble?

Eventually, we come to realize, either “I restricted myself because I didn’t care enough to do enough to deserve the manifestation of this outcome” or “I protected myself from having this desired outcome because I care too much about preserving the health of my soul and expanding the wealth of my spirit.”

In my next post, I resume this train of thought with a view towards divine (7) ultimacy (9).

Note: my evolving outline on the ultimate in personal fulfillment can now be found here, accessible from the nav menu under “Be Here Now”. I’ll be sure to inform readers of any updates.

Next: Ultimate Fulfillment 79

Note: this ever growing perspective began here: Ultimate Perspective

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