Ultimate Fulfillment 45

by Christopher Lovejoy on February 15, 2015

Today, I will explore the difference between “I feel so lonely, I feel so alone” and “I am alone”.

In and of itself, the word “alone” denotes a neutral concept, which serves by contrast to help us appreciate the meaning of “together”, either together with another or together with others.

When we view the word “alone” as an amalgam of “all” and “one”, we get a very different picture.

The term “one” implies unity; to say that I am “all one” is to say that I am “unified within”, which, when you think about it, is not such a bad place to be. When I am unified within, and I intend to remain unified within, I cannot help but see, hear, and feel the unity from without, out there in the land of the living.

Conversely, if I am fortunate enough to see, hear, and feel the unity from without, to resonate with instances of unity out there, I find thereby a wondrous reflection of my own unity within.

So really, it’s not so bad to be alone, to be all one.

But to be lonely, … to feel so lonely, … to feel so alone … now here’s something worth exploring further.

In my journey, I have felt so isolated from others that it was all I could do to keep my balance within. Before I discovered the witness and the witness perspective, I was at the mercy of loneliness. As I’ve grown more balanced and unified within, I have come to relish my privacy and freedom in my solitude. These days, I rarely, if ever, feel lonely, as I have come to grow ever more attuned to feeling “all one”.

In my view, “I feel so alone” can be interpreted in two ways: (1) as a statement of fact, usually triggered when sitting or standing or walking in the midst of a crowd of strangers (you might even marvel at how alone you feel), or (2) as just another way of saying “I feel so lonely”, as a result of being physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually isolated from others, cut off from their positive energies. In the first instance, “I feel so alone” is an affirmation of how unified you feel within, regardless of whether others are in your midst. In the second instance, “I feel so alone” is declared when you feel anything but unified within – perhaps here it is better to say “I feel so lonely”.

This might sound counter-intuitive to some people, but loneliness is not a feeling you want to overcome with suppression or distraction; it’s a feeling best welcomed, in silence or in stillness, in a quiet space (physical or psychological) as in “could I welcome this feeling, allowing it to be just as it is? Could I let it go just for now?” For more on this process, I refer you to The Sedona Method.

The notion of “need” figures prominently in feeling lonely, but it suffers from a bad case of ambiguity. On the one hand, “I need you”, “I need to be with you” can come off sounding needy, causing the heart of another to clench in resistance to whatever darkness lies within. On the other hand, “I need you”, “I need to be with you”, can be expressed and received gracefully and easily, but only within an existing relationship that carries shared memories of positive intentions.

So what is one to do if one has not a single positive relation in this world?

First, understand that this wonderful world is not at fault, despite (for the most part) being dead and gone, and by this I do not mean that the world itself is dead and gone (you, individually, might still have vital access to it, might still be able to dial into it at your preferred frequencies), only that the vitality of the human spirit that might have been invested in this world has (for the most part) been withdrawn, given how deeply and pervasively the human spirit has retreated into all manner of substitutes, such as lucid dreaming, astral travel, social media, reality TV, video and computer gaming, entertainments for the masses, or virtual reality (and other potential indulgences too numerous to mention).

Aside: please note, I am not bashing these modes of experience; in and of themselves, there is much to learn from them (some more than others; indeed, anything can be construed as a potential source of learning and growth); what I am doing is questioning the pervasiveness of their influence (individually and collectively) and their potential for being indulged at the expense of humanity in the world at large

Second, understand, that as a result of these widespread retreats into la-la land, people are feeling more separate and separated than ever (but would rarely if ever admit it openly, as there is much shame circulating around it). As the heart of humanity grows ever colder, harder, and darker, we find ourselves living in a strange and schizophrenic, almost satanic, social condition where we feel called upon to be strong yet vulnerable, efficacious yet manipulative, pretentious yet authentic, aloof yet caring. More than ever, we would do well to understand and appreciate what it means to be alone, to be all one, while remaining open to the possibility of being and sharing together in a warm, soft light that has nothing to do with the pale substitutes that barely serve us as “the real world”.

With these caveats in mind, I have a few practical responses to the question posed above: (1) go it alone for a while and learn, to the best of your ability, what it means to be alone, to be all one, cultivating the fullest and deepest meaning of ambedo – life lived for it’s own sake; (2) seek the company of that one person with whom you know you could resonate, if only you had the guts to forge a connection, with a special emphasis on sharing yourself authentically, intimately, or vulnerably, expressing yourself creatively, with sensitivity and discernment, gently confronting or bypassing those who seem bent on relating presumptuously and pretentiously on the surface; or (3) find or create a group of people offline with whom you share a deep interest (if such a thing is still possible for you) and take the plunge, putting yourself out there and sharing the best version of yourself from the heart of your soul.

I look forward to sharing more about this vital distinction between “being alone” and “feeling lonely”.

In the meantime, I am at a critical juncture in my thinking and writing, with respect to articulating the nature of soul and spirit in relation to the ego and the heart; I have much to produce and process.

Such as it is, here’s a link to my ongoing resource on coming to terms with fate.

Note: my evolving outline on the ultimate in personal fulfillment can now be found here, accessible from the nav menu under “Be Here Now”. I’ll be sure to inform readers of any updates.

Next: Ultimate Fulfillment 46

Note: this ever growing perspective began here: Ultimate Perspective

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