Ultimate Fulfillment 23

by Christopher Lovejoy on September 14, 2014

This past week was, for me, a week of seemingly defied expectations.

First, the week started with a summer snowstorm. Yes, you read that right: a summer snowstorm.

Where I am, in the heart of southern Alberta, Canada, summer doesn’t officially end for another week, and yet, already, the snow has fallen, and fall it did, quite heavily in places, causing power outages and bringing down tree branches large and small over a large area.

And then the weirdnesses started, causing me to wonder if reality was getting warped, or if I myself were warping my own reality, what with my spiritual intention to manifest “my own experience of reality”, to be “the creator of my experience of reality”.

I place a call on my smartphone to the receptionist of a reputable place of business and I’m told I cannot be heard, prompting me to end my call. My intuition tells me to call a more direct number. I do, and the call goes well, without so much as a single complaint about “not being heard”.

Later that morning, I go to a bank to withdraw some cash from an ATM, only to have my chipped card refused by the machine. I inquire, and after much consultation with two lovely souls, I leave with a story: the chips are known to be “susceptible to damage” (uh-uh). I am given a paper sleeve to protect my card. My intuition knows better: a couple of days later, I make a small purchase with my card without a hitch.

After attending the bank, I walk north to one of the busiest intersections in the city where I live and work, where the traffic lights are out and a traffic cop is directing heavy traffic. After doing a bit of shopping (where I am surprised and delighted to find bags of perfectly ripe oranges at a steeply reduced price), the traffic lights are working again, as if nothing had happened.

Early that afternoon, a charming, attractive (seemingly sincere) girl in her late teens approaches me with a story and a toonie (a two-dollar coin) in the palm of her hand: she needs a dollar to get on a bus as she has no wish to “walk for seven hours to get home”. I tell her, “it’s not my habit to carry change”, and then remember the two quarters I carry in my wallet in case I need to make an emergency call on a public phone (for reasons of health and safety, I refuse to carry a cellphone). She takes them and walks away, appearing entitled, without so much as a “thank you”. I realize, in a moment of dread, that I might have been had, but I also realize this experience is beneficial for my current study on presence and pretense.

Two hours later, I get on a bus (I use public transit for going to and from work) and the driver goes off course, taking about ten minutes to get back on course. This is fairly unusual, as the city bus drivers here are (for the most part) at the top of their game. That night, yet another (admittedly new) driver goes off course. This one is not so lucky: a transit officer catches up to him and chastises him for being careless.

The next day, I read that the sun is undergoing some major storms, producing some rather large solar flares. It’s a convenient explanation for my seemingly defied expectations: could it be that these flares were wreaking minor havoc on the electrical activity of brains and devices?

Some good did come of this: it not only humbled me to realize I cannot always be in control (and have all the answers), it inspired me to pen a poetic summary of my primary earthly preoccupation:

If the soul be full
and the spirit filling,
what is fulfilling?

And if this or that
should prove fulfilling,
ultimately fulfilling?

I’ve come to realize that these questions will goad me and guide me, if not preoccupy me, my heart, my soul, my mind, my spirit, my ego, until the day I … pass into the Great Beyond.

I certainly have my work cut out for me.

The amount and scope of integration in thought and feeling required in preparation for application is formidable, and potentially reality warping, given what I know about the state of this world.

I am prompted to recall and apply this permission to myself (with special thanks to Reinhold Neibhur):

May I grant myself the serenity
to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change what I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference

… especially when seemingly defied expectations rule the day (or week!).

This prayer reminds me: if the soul’s purview is “letting it be” for the sake of peace, the spirit’s domain is “making it so” for the sake of freedom. I encourage you to remember this, and to remember it well, because it’s the linchpin in a structure that would realize the ultimate in personal fulfillment.

And yet, as one of my favorite teenage sci-fi authors, Robert A. Heinlein, would remind us, “you can have peace or you can have freedom, but you can’t have both”, or something to that effect.

His point is well taken, but I must question, question, question.

Why can’t I have both? Why can’t soul and spirit co-exist and co-create in harmony? Why can’t presence and power team up? Why can’t promise and possibility meet and greet to complete?

If soul is found full in quality of encounter at peace with presence, and if spirit can get a filling from vitality of experience by way of power and possibility for the sake of freedom, can we not have full filling?

There’s a missing piece in all of this: a mediator between soul and spirit – ready, willing, and able.

Can I – the eye, the inner eye, my sense of I, the most intimate eye of I – not be full filled, not have full filling? Alright, I’ll take a leap and say it now: it’s the ego, the less-than-almighty ego.

The ego?!

As the sole mediator, the ego – if mature, if maturing or matured – has much responsibility to bear.

This question remains: can the ego bear it?

Can the ego bear the burden of pride?

Can the ego bear the burden of presumption?

Can the ego bear the burden of prejudice?

Can the ego bear the burden of pretense?

We all know we cannot the escape the ego, no matter how awakened and enlightened we think we are.

The ego is just too intimately involved in who we are (and who we are not), in what we do (and don’t do), in what we have (and don’t have), in who we become (and don’t become).

In spiritual circles, the ego is the scapegoat du jour, a much maligned whipping boy. We would all do well to question this negative focus, given how ironic it is that the most intimate part of ourselves is given the short end of the stick (with no carrot to pursue!).

We have this word, egocentric, and it’s been loaded like a gun in the hands of a villain with a negative connotation, but if truth be told, and why not tell it, the centrality of ego is in great need of a redemptive operation, starting with this word: maturity.

As far as I can see, one of six levels of egoic maturity are evident in any social interaction, in any interaction between self and other, requiring one of six levels of sense-ability and response-ability.

Hint: use these words to fill in the blanks, as appropriate: upsetting/upset, confusing/confused, annoying/annoyed, troubling/troubled, disturbing/disturbed, irritating/irritated

  1. the silence of genuine innocence: no response necessary
  2. the reaction where the speaker’s innocence is presumed: “you’re ____ me!” (“you’re upsetting me!”)
  3. the reaction where the speaker’s objectivity is presumed: “this is so ____!” (“this is so upsetting!”)
  4. the response where the speaker’s subjectivity is presumed: “I am feeling ____.” (“I am feeling upset”)
  5. the presumption of full responsibility: “I am ____ myself.” (“I’m upsetting myself because of this”)
  6. the silence of serenity: the fully enlightened response

Rather than view these levels of maturity as levels of betterment, view them as opportunities for learning and growth, realization and evolution, expression and expansion. Keep in mind that your level of maturity in one area of your life (social) may be further along than another area in your life (financial).

If, for example, you encounter someone who presumes innocence by accusing (or implying) “you’re upsetting me”, offer this suggestion: “this could be upsetting you”, and if you encounter someone who presumes objectivity by intoning (or implying) “this is upsetting me”, offer this: “you’re feeling upset”, and if you encounter someone who presumes subjectivity by expressing (or implying) “I am feeling upset”, offer this: “perhaps you are upsetting yourself”, and if you should encounter someone who presumes full responsibility by admitting “I am upsetting myself”, offer up the silence of serenity.

With a mature (or maturing) ego, discerning and decisive mediation between soul and spirit holds (or begins to hold) promise for the evolution and realization of personal fulfillment towards ultimacy.

The ego as meditator is redeemed, as and when egocentricity holds the promise of mediation, exposing the presumptions of egoic entitlement and egoic abandonment at each active level of maturity.

Presumptions of entitlement

  1. you owe me
  2. this is owed me
  3. I am feeling owed
  4. I owe myself this

Presumptions of abandonment

  1. you’re leaving me
  2. this is leaving me
  3. I am feeling left behind
  4. I am leaving a part of me behind

Admittedly, this can be confusing: there is egocentricity (positively perceived) and then there is egocentricity (negatively and too-commonly perceived); there is egocentric entitlement (richly and justly deserved) and then there is egocentric entitlement (blindly, unfairly presumed); there is egocentric abandonment (in the best sense of the word, in service to heart and soul) and then there is egocentric abandonment (in the worst sense of the word, in servitude to a pusillanimous sense of me, myself, and I).

With all of this in mind, the cosmic field of play, as I have conceived it (and am conceiving it), begins to make a little more sense.

If the ego’s link to soul is responsibility for presence, peace, promise, love, and compassion, then the ego’s link to spirit is responsibility for personal power, freedom, possibility, joy, and passion.

It’s my intention to explore, express, and expand these ideas further in the weeks to come with formal yet fluidic structures.

Next: Ultimate Fulfillment 24

Note: this ever growing perspective began here: Ultimate Perspective




a message for our times: “be true, be wise, be free; love is the key”




(Setting the context)


The syntactical nature of reality, the real secret of magic,
is that the world is made of words, and if you know the words that the world is made of,
you can make of it whatever you wish ~ Terence McKenna

consider this truth: “there is no truth”: true or false? if true, then false; if false, then true

words are powerful, as and when they are spoken in the light of truth, love, and wisdom




(A cosmic perspective)

First installment: the cosmic life review (learn more)
Second installment: a cosmic perspective on birth, life, and death

Current study: fate, birth, life, death, and destiny in context

View this page to explore the basic issues




The ethical imperative: guard guide your eyes, guard guide your thoughts, guard guide your steps

What the cosmic life review indicates we do in the earthly realm: (1) sanctify; (2) purify; (3) justify

Does “what does it take to be fulfilled?” = “what does it take to be sanctified, purified, justified?”?




Proposal: our prime directive as a species is finding the balance

  • finding the balance between soul (being) and spirit (becoming)
  • finding the balance between being perfectly full and becoming perfectly filled
  • finding the balance between living soulfully (truly, deeply) and living spiritually (wisely, freely)




(A context for living life to the fullest)

proposal to universalize human need:

need 1: “a safe place to eat and sleep”
need 2: “a way to satisfy all my needs”
need 3: “someone to love and cherish”
need 4: “a healthy, vital outlook on life”

a vital distinction to observe in daily life:
satisfaction of need v. fulfillment of desire

the body is but a vessel for soul,
serving to contain all that the soul needs;
the body is but a vehicle for spirit,
serving to convey all that the spirit desires;

how might body serve to contain and convey
both soul and spirit as vessel and vehicle?

soul spirit

unity harmony
peace bliss
love joy
being becoming
loving caring
intimacy ecstasy
quality vitality
encounter experience
sacred divine
promise possibility
realization evolution
truth wisdom
responsibility freedom
depth height
inward outward
descend ascend
contemplation evaluation
involvement engagement
satisfaction fulfillment
cultivation celebration
dwelling peacefully flowing blissfully
heart of soul soul of spirit
contains conveys
accepts expects
let it be make it so
receptive assertive
attuned to what is required aligned with what is desired
dignity integrity
awakening enlightenment
being alive being alive




(A practice for living life to the fullest)


exploring …

the ways and means by which I can be centred in love
the ways and means by which I can follow (or manifest!) a path with heart
the ways and means by which I can be love truly and wisely

if the first pointer serves to expose the truth of who and what I am,
and if the second serves to reveal the meaning, purpose, and direction of my life,
then the third serves to realize a dynamic balance between my soul and spirit


the three deep, dark fears of spiritual beings in human form

1) a fear of letting go during sexual orgasm (the sexual fear)
2) a fear of losing control, of losing one’s mind (the political fear)
3) a fear of dying in pain, in anguish, in misery (the religious fear)

dysfunctional, maladaptive, unsustainable ways to maintain personal control
(here presented as pairs: a passive matter of soul, an active matter of spirit)












when life gives you lemons, turn them into lemonade ~ a popular proverb

how people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours ~ wayne dyer




(a global perspective: why is humanity failing to fulfill its true potential?)

weaving a terrestrial narrative that aligns with a cosmic perspective, including historical, interdimensional, extraterrestrial, conspiratorial, and eschatological elements, is an exhaustive process

such a terrestrial narrative would have us explore and expose the causes and consequences of two widespread (and related) social phenomena: cynical detachment and egocentric entitlement

the story of Howard Storm: how a visit to The Other Side cured his soul and spirit of cynical detachment and egocentric entitlement, transmuting his contempt for humanity into compassion and compersion

If darkness is your problem, talking about darkness won’t help.
If darkness is your problem, nothing can be done about darkness directly.
You cannot throw it out, you cannot push it out, you cannot switch it off.
Darkness is an absence. Nothing can be done about it directly.
If you have to do anything, you have to do something with the light, not with darkness.

~ Osho (Fear: Understanding and Accepting the Insecurities of Life, p. 136)




1. “I just can’t stand it anymore … why go on?”

2. “Wrong body, wrong family, wrong planet … why?”

3. “Why am I making such a mess of my life?”

4. “What does it really take to be (become) fulfilled in this life?”

5. Soul: “a sound approach to being perfect: possible?”

6. Spirit: “a sane approach to becoming perfect: desirable?”

7. The ultimate in truth, love, and power: dare we ask?


Study Notes


  • incorporate the use of symbols with these elements: sphere (soul), spiral (spirit), pyramid
  • presence and pretense: best to view them as complementary, rather than as mutually exclusive?
  • follow these elements of perspective: form, structure, substance, orientation, appearance
  • the devil challenge (problem, difficulty, obstacle, inadequacy, struggle, conflict) is in the details
  • the privileged among us: a little too preoccupied with celebrity, technology, personality, positivity?
  • extroverts and introverts: “living on the surface” and “living from the depths with presence”
  • the cosmic life review: a representation of the ultimate in personal fulfillment for a life lived?


* TUiPF = The Ultimate in Personal Fulfillment

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