Ultimate Fulfillment 18

by Christopher Lovejoy on August 10, 2014

The fear of losing control remains with us until the day we die, until the day our biological bodies expire, until the essence of who we are rises through the veil of forgetfulness that keeps us in fear.

As I indicated in my previous post, the fear of losing control is the fear of losing the strength, flexibility, and endurance that comes with finding and keeping and honing the locus of your control.

The locus of your control is absolutely central to who you are, absolutely central to a True Self, absolutely central to any meaningful experience of a Self as Art. In my previous post, I wrote and I quote:

The locus of control can be found
in a mature and decisive ego; such an ego
is decisive to the extent that it can
expand its awareness of what is required
even as it remains aware of what is desired.

Where the soul is attuned to what is required when the ego surrenders its need for control, the spirit is aligned with what is desired when the ego decides to extend its influence in harmony with soul.

From its vantage point, at the very centre of existence, a mature and decisive ego is in charge of the master switch, the switch that is so crucial to a healthy, happy Self when it lives as sacred or divine.

In any given situation, with any given encounter, does the ego remain relaxed in presence or does it insist on acting through pretense? Does the ego choose surrender to presence, does it act through the influence of presence, or does it choose to be influential from, with, or through the energy of pretense?

Most important, does the mature and decisive ego activate the Witness for the sake of heart and soul or does such an ego activate the Will for the sake of spirit in harmony with heart and soul?

Letting be and letting go with a Witness to heart and soul, a mature ego chooses presence by yielding to presence. Presuming that it knows better than presence with the Will by “making it so” for the sake of spirit, an immature ego chooses a lightly construed pretense by exerting itself with the influence of such pretense. In keeping with presence, a mature ego conducts itself through the influence of presence.

Aside: I explore the difference between presence and pretense in this post

Because change is a constant feature of our experience and we resist change through the fear of losing control, we have a tendency to form attachments that keep us feeling safe and secure.

I might form a strong, inflexible, enduring attachment to a particular way of seeing myself or the world because it brings me the clarity, certainty, and consistency I need to feel safe and secure as a hedge against constant change, against any fear of losing control of myself or my version of this world.

As far as I know, five paradigms of control predominate in this world at this time:

  1. magical
  2. organic
  3. religious
  4. secular
  5. spiritual

A brief discussion of each of these paradigms will set a context for broaching what I call “the energy of compromise”.

As far as I can see, most people subscribe to one of these paradigms, while some people are able to combine two (or more) of them, but few have been able to integrate all five of these paradigms.

The more open and aware and accepting we are of each of these paradigms, the more choice we have, and the greater our sense of promise and possibility for fulfilling our potentials in this lifetime.

Most people in this world at this time are content to remain within the confines of just one of these paradigms, which has the rather unfortunate effect of casting shadows on those who do not belong.

For example, those who subscribe to a shamanic worldview (a magical paradigm) speak a different language than those who subscribe to a naturalistic worldview, like the hippies who lived during the cultural revolution of the 1960s (an organic paradigm). Those who subscribe to a New Age worldview (a spiritual paradigm) make it clear that “they are spiritual, not religious” and those who subscribe to a scientific worldview (a secular paradigm) make it clear that “extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence” when speaking to religious or spiritual types.

By themselves, each of these paradigms has a lot to offer to those who subscribe beyond just providing a means by which to construct some neat and tidy and predictable version of this world.

The magical paradigm appeals to our sense of wonder and splendor, to allowing delightfully meaningful synchronicities to appear as if from nowhere in support of our needs and desires, to engaging the spirit world through ritual and ceremony for healing and prophetic purposes, and because it has such a deep affinity for all things natural, especially crystals, plants, and animals, it shares something meaningful in common with the organic paradigm, albeit for different reasons.

The organic paradigm appeals to our sense of being at home in this world, to being earthy and down-to-earth, to treating the human body as worthy of respect, to nourishing and honoring the feminine side of life, to being more inclusive socially and moving beyond acceptable social boundaries to experiment with novel lifestyle choices such as free love and a transcendent sexuality, and because it views life as sacred, it shares a commonality with the religious paradigm.

The religious paradigm appeals to our sense of belonging to a community, to our need for security by having an extremely consistent view of this world and our place in it by which to structure and guide our entire lives from birth to death, to providing a safe haven for those who find themselves in need, to offering a sense of redemption to those who feel they have lost their way, and because it is such a dear and loyal friend to prosperity, shares a bond with the secular paradigm.

The secular paradigm appeals to our sense of expansion in this world, to the need and desire to understand this world on our own terms or in objective terms, to having a broad range of consumer options, to being tapped into the latest and greatest in technology, to connecting globally through a growing list of social media platforms, and because it sees such great value in fulfilling a personal sense of possibility, shares an important key to living large with the spiritual paradigm.

The spiritual paradigm appeals to our sense of being divinely inspired; to seeking and expressing divinely inspired truth, love, and power; to being awakened to such truth, love, and power and to being enlightened enough to bring such truth, love, and power into this world; to letting ourselves be the change we wish to see and knowing that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for; and because it views Unity and Harmony as supreme, shares a bond with the magical paradigm.

Each of these paradigms of control set us up to form certain attachments and expectations by which to realize the heart of soul and to fulfill the expectations of spirit in harmony with soul. Each paradigm is a tiny world unto itself, a small version of consensus reality by which souls and spirits can get a handle on who they are in relation to this world. Unfortunately, a selective focus, unless modulated flexibly with maturity, has a tendency to shut us down or shut us out or shut us up to other, equally valid points of view and ways of seeing and knowing the world.

When a soul feels ready to move beyond a particular paradigm, it can either jump into another paradigm wholesale or it can remain faithful to its current paradigm even as it expands into yet another paradigm. Sometimes, however, a soul outgrows its favored paradigm but remains stuck within it, not knowing where to turn. Even those who favor the seemingly ultimate spiritual paradigm may grow disenchanted with it, not knowing that something more inclusive and expansive is possible. When a soul and spirit finds itself at an impasse, its sense of promise and possibility are thwarted; the energy of compromise arises, acting as a drag on both soul and spirit.

By being and knowing and living the promise and power of a True Self, of a Self as Art, we are privileged to have the wherewithal to stand back and appreciate the contributions made by each of the five paradigms of control discussed above, even as we bear responsibility for integrating the best of each of them for the sake of us all.

In the world today, there is so much more to experience than at any time in the history of this world, but the question remains: are we up to realizing its promise and fulfilling our potential? It’s important to remember that remaining attached to a particular paradigm of control set us up (eventually) to experience the energy of compromise, such that satisfaction and fulfillment are themselves compromised.

Moving beyond these paradigms in keeping with a True Self, with a Self as Art, appeals to our sense of realization and expansion.

Moving beyond these paradigms would have us live and love and grow beyond the confines of an immature ego with its gray or dark agendas; would have us find the stillness within in times of risk or stress so that we might know and live the promise and the power of presence; would have us trust, access, and follow the wisdom and directives of the inner knower, the inner voice, the inner guide; would us understand and appreciate the meaning and significance of “your accusing finger only points back at you”; and, among many other awakened and enlightened matters, would have us be our True Selves divinely in relation to others through such attributes as peace, love, joy, bliss, grace, and ease.

Knowing all of this, what does it take to master the Art of Self in service to awakened realization and enlightened fulfillment?

Next: Ultimate Fulfillment 19

Note: this ever growing perspective began here: Ultimate Perspective




a message for our times: “be true, be wise, be free; love is the key”




(Setting the context)


The syntactical nature of reality, the real secret of magic,
is that the world is made of words, and if you know the words that the world is made of,
you can make of it whatever you wish ~ Terence McKenna

consider this truth: “there is no truth”: true or false? if true, then false; if false, then true

words are powerful, as and when they are spoken in the light of truth, love, and wisdom




(A cosmic perspective)

Previous study: the cosmic life review (learn more)

Current study: a cosmic perspective on birth, life, and death

View this page to explore the basic issues




The ethical imperative: guard guide your eyes, guard guide your thoughts, guard guide your steps

What the cosmic life review indicates we do in the earthly realm: (1) sanctify; (2) purify; (3) justify

Does “what does it take to be fulfilled?” = “what does it take to be sanctified, purified, justified?”?




Proposal: our prime directive as a species is finding the balance

  • finding the balance between soul (being) and spirit (becoming)
  • finding the balance between being perfectly full and becoming perfectly filled
  • finding the balance between living soulfully (truly, deeply) and living spiritually (wisely, freely)




(A context for living life to the fullest)

proposal to universalize human need:

need 1: “a safe place to eat and sleep”
need 2: “a way to satisfy all my needs”
need 3: “someone to love and cherish”
need 4: “a healthy, vital outlook on life”

a vital distinction to observe in daily life:
satisfaction of need v. fulfillment of desire

the body is but a vessel for soul,
serving to contain all that the soul needs;
the body is but a vehicle for spirit,
serving to convey all that the spirit desires;

how might body serve to contain and convey
both soul and spirit as vessel and vehicle?

soul spirit

unity harmony
peace bliss
love joy
being becoming
loving caring
intimacy ecstasy
quality vitality
encounter experience
sacred divine
promise possibility
realization evolution
truth wisdom
responsibility freedom
depth height
inward outward
descend ascend
contemplation evaluation
involvement engagement
satisfaction fulfillment
cultivation celebration
dwelling peacefully flowing blissfully
heart of soul soul of spirit
contains conveys
accepts expects
let it be make it so
receptive assertive
attuned to what is required aligned with what is desired
dignity integrity
awakening enlightenment
being alive being alive




(A practice for living life to the fullest)


exploring …

the ways and means by which I can be centred in love
the ways and means by which I can follow (or manifest!) a path with heart
the ways and means by which I can be love truly and wisely

if the first pointer serves to expose the truth of who and what I am,
and if the second serves to reveal the meaning, purpose, and direction of my life,
then the third serves to realize a dynamic balance between my soul and spirit


the three deep, dark fears of spiritual beings in human form

1) a fear of letting go during sexual orgasm (the sexual fear)
2) a fear of losing control, of losing one’s mind (the political fear)
3) a fear of dying in pain, in anguish, in misery (the religious fear)

dysfunctional, maladaptive, unsustainable ways to maintain personal control
(here presented as pairs: a passive matter of soul, an active matter of spirit)












when life gives you lemons, turn them into lemonade ~ a popular proverb

how people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours ~ wayne dyer




(a global perspective: why is humanity failing to fulfill its true potential?)

weaving a terrestrial narrative that aligns with a cosmic perspective, including historical, interdimensional, extraterrestrial, conspiratorial, and eschatological elements, is an exhaustive process

such a terrestrial narrative would have us explore and expose the causes and consequences of two widespread (and related) social phenomena: cynical detachment and egocentric entitlement

the story of Howard Storm: how a visit to The Other Side cured his soul and spirit of cynical detachment and egocentric entitlement, transmuting his contempt for humanity into compassion and compersion

If darkness is your problem, talking about darkness won’t help.
If darkness is your problem, nothing can be done about darkness directly.
You cannot throw it out, you cannot push it out, you cannot switch it off.
Darkness is an absence. Nothing can be done about it directly.
If you have to do anything, you have to do something with the light, not with darkness.

~ Osho (Fear: Understanding and Accepting the Insecurities of Life, p. 136)




1. “I just can’t stand it anymore … why go on?”

2. “Wrong body, wrong family, wrong planet … why?”

3. “Why am I making such a mess of my life?”

4. “What does it really take to be (become) fulfilled in this life?”

5. Soul: “a sound approach to being perfect: possible?”

6. Spirit: “a sane approach to becoming perfect: desirable?”

7. The ultimate in truth, love, and power: dare we ask?


Study Notes


  • incorporate the use of symbols with these elements: sphere (soul), spiral (spirit), pyramid
  • presence and pretense: best to view them as complementary, rather than as mutually exclusive?
  • follow these elements of perspective: form, structure, substance, orientation, appearance
  • the devil challenge (problem, difficulty, obstacle, inadequacy, struggle, conflict) is in the details
  • the privileged among us: a little too preoccupied with celebrity, technology, personality, positivity?
  • extroverts and introverts: “living on the surface” and “living from the depths with presence”
  • the cosmic life review: a representation of the ultimate in personal fulfillment for a life lived?


* TUiPF = The Ultimate in Personal Fulfillment

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