Conscious Creatorship

by Christopher Lovejoy on June 24, 2012

I read somewhere that I am God.

I am God: can you feel the audacity in this supposition?

No, really. Can you feel it?

I am God.

I can imagine the responses and reactions: puzzled, offended, amused, be-mused, …

Being God, of course, implies (and entails) that I take responsibility for everything – everything – that happens in my life, in my relationships, in my work and play, in my experience of reality.

Which is to say: “if it happens, I made it happen, one way or another”.

And … “if I don’t like it, then I’m responsible for owning it.”

This is a lot of responsibility, yes?

If I “accidentally” break a bone or fall gravely ill, I’m responsible.

If someone roughs me up or pulls a knife on me, I’m responsible.

Regardless of the conditions, if I drive a car into a tree, I’m responsible.

If someone insults me or persecutes me for no apparent reason, I’m responsible.

No matter what happens, I’m responsible. Not guilty – just responsible.

Directly or indirectly, from karma created in a past life or in my current life, I’m responsible.

Let us explore this intriguing idea further.

Conscious Solipsism: The Ultimate in Narcissism

One school of thought maintains that the self – by way of feelings through perception, sensation, observation, cognition, intention, and expectation – is all that I can ever know.

Let us entertain this evocative notion …

When I observe those who appear lost in their worlds, I’m tempted to believe that the only thing they can know is themselves, but in reality, this appearance could be just my creation, my projection.

Without making any attempt at social interaction that I feel is worthy and meaningful, however, and therefore justifiable, I risk falling into a lonely, solipsistic existence without consciousness.

A more sophisticated version of solipsism maintains that I can be conscious of the supposition that everything is illusory, that nothing is real, that it’s all made up, and that I made it all up.

Whatever appears real – people, places, things, events – appear so because I make them so, made real by my conditioned perceptions and filtered observations, by my attention, appreciation, anticipation.

That is, energy flows where attention goes – and I am conscious of this.

If I view my life as a game, and play it as a game, then I can choose – consciously, as a player – where I put my attention, appreciating and anticipating the chosen objects of my desire.

In the very act of perception, through the activity of observation, I attend, appreciate, or anticipate, blessing the objects of my desire and creating my very own experience of reality.

Ultimately, I bless the objects of my desire with my attention, with appreciation, and with a sense of anticipation to have more of what I desire – to encounter and experience more of what I desire.

As a player, I must observe, by definition, certain limitations and restriction on my play. As a Creator, however, I have no such limitations or restrictions; I am free to be whoever I wish to be.

To live, to love, and to learn my truth – and be truth itself.

This distinction implies three phases in the fulfillment game:

  1. playing with a sense of limitation, feeling restricted on occasion
  2. shifting from playing to creating as a Being of infinite power, wisdom, and abundance
  3. creating without any sense of limitation, with uncommon grace and ease

By the time you reach phase 3, you’re the ultimate narcissist.

Your Narcissism: Toxic or Healthy?

Everyone, at some level, is narcissistic – and I do mean everyone, including me, myself, and I.

On some matter of importance, everyone cares only about themselves – even the most loving and enlightened among us (stay with me here; this is not a cynical observation).

Some are better at concealing it than others; others couldn’t conceal it if they tried.

This question naturally arises: is your narcissism healthy or is it toxic?

Your narcissism is healthy if your personal boundaries are firm and resilient without being porous or brittle. Your narcissism is toxic if you think you can violate personal boundaries with impunity.

Your narcissism is healthy if your sense of shame is healthy, allowing it to inform your conscience; otherwise, your narcissism is toxic if it poisons your conduct with aggression and disconnection.

Healthy narcissism makes it possible for me to value loving and learning, caring and sharing, giving and receiving, with a policy to meet and greet everyone with due kindness and consideration.

But I can’t be all things to all people; sometimes, I feel compelled to take a stand.

Sometimes, because I know and understand and appreciate myself better than you do, I must care more about myself than I do about you and what you say or do, need or want, and I care more about myself when I follow my own instincts, my own intuition, about what is true and best for me.

To be sure, narcissism is not just a matter of individual pride. Friends and couples can be narcissistic, as can families, as well as tribes broadcasting and safeguarding various identities and ideologies.

Admittedly, however, even healthy narcissism can be tainted by toxicity.

When you’re playing the fulfillment game from a sense of limitation, feeling restricted or constrained on occasion, you’re almost guaranteed to have a toxic moment in the midst of your healthy narcissism.

But as you begin the shift from player to Creator, creating your very own experience of reality from a lofty place of infinite power, wisdom, and abundance, in a field of infinite possibilities, your narcissism undergoes a conscious albeit painful process of purification, moving you from asshole to angel.

You embrace appreciation as a way of life. You drop limiting beliefs and restrictive judgments.

By the time you’re ready to create your own experience of reality, without any sense of limitation or restriction, and with uncommon grace and ease, your narcissism is a pure grade of gold.

Congratulations. You’ve become the ultimate narcissist.

Wait a Minute: Are You for Real?

Common sense tells us that you and I are separate, unique, distinct individuals.

Not that I would suddenly be seized by insanity or consumed with depravity, but …

If I get all creepy on you and lay my hands on you with erotic intent, you’re going to react.

If I breathily tell you something crazy with a wide-eyed, maniacal smile, you’re going to react.

If I approach you slowly from behind on tiptoes while panting insanely, you’re going to react.

But then, what possible reason could you or would you have to create these creepy experiences by projecting them into your field of observation, onto the holographic screen of your imagination?

I am but a figment of your imagination, yes?

Or, perhaps more accurately, I am but a figment of my own imagination.

More precisely … I (the player) am but a figment of my (the Creator’s) imagination.

More precisely still … all that I (the player) can think and feel, say and do, is a product of observation as well as anticipation, attention and appreciation, projection and creation.

The moment I subsume my identity as a player, becoming wholly identified as a Creator and basking in the glow of appreciation for all that I attract and manifest in my life, all bets are off.

I no longer need to care or be concerned about my solipsism or my narcissism.

“I am God”, as a pure and peaceful declaration, is fulfilled once and for all.

Other People: Mere Aspects of Myself in Need of Integration?

You’re reading these words, but how can I ever be sure that you’re real? Perhaps I can only imagine that you’re reading these words, and if you contacted me to assure me that you’re real, what reason would I have to believe that your assurance is nothing but a product of my own imagination?

In his existential work, No Exit, Sartre had one of his characters exclaim: “hell is … other people!”, but could it be that “hell” is but an outer reflection of what’s bubbling and churning inside me?

When he was alive (as an aspect of my Consciousness in need of interpretation?), the comedian Bill Hicks made the following observations about the world in which we (I?) live …

He (I?) said, and I quote:

All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration.

We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is a dream, and we’re the imagination of ourselves ~ Bill Hicks

… and we’re the imagination of ourselves … think about that for a moment …

… and we’re the imagination of ourselves …


We are all co-creators of a vast and complex illusion designed to support, guide, and encourage creative, soulful involvement for some, and expressive, spiritual engagement for others.

From the point of view of conscious solipsism, however, you, dear reader, are not real.

You’re completely made up. A product of my own imagination. A creation of my Consciousness – the Consciousness of a Creator whose player is typing these words and thinking these thoughts.

From a broader view, however, you are real, I am real, and we are both co-creators of an elaborate illusion whose outlines and details and effects appear astonishingly substantial and real to us.

I am writing this, and you are reading this independently of any input from my consciousness.

From a still broader view, I have a choice about which perspective to assume in my daily life:

  • the objective perspective, where everything is governed by the laws of identity and causality
  • the subjective perspective, where everything is a manifestation of my creative consciousness
  • the collective perspective, where everything is a consensual product of a co-creative consciousness
  • the instructive perspective, where everything is treated objectively, subjectively, or collectively

From an instructive perspective, where everything is viewed, explored, and treated either objectively, subjectively, or collectively, according to my own interpretation of how appropriate and meaningful it is given the circumstances, “I am God”, as a pure, peaceful declaration, takes on a whole new meaning.

Objectively …

Objectively, you are you, independent of anything I might think, feel, or believe about you and your intentions or expectations. Truly, you have a will of your own: you are not a mere product of my consciousness, you are not a mere projection, you are not a mere figment of my imagination.

If you say or do something to annoy me, then I need to address you – not some aspect of myself.

Subjectively …

Subjectively, you’re merely a composite of perceptions and observations being processed by a player in a game whose creation is sustained by a very wise, very powerful Creator consciousness.

If “you” say or do something to annoy me, there is no “you” to blame or shame; what I need to do is address some divisive aspect of myself in need of integration within my Consciousness.

Collectively …

Collectively, you are merely one of many co-creators participating in a consensual reality designed to help us grow and evolve and teach each and every one of us lessons on how to live and love well.

If you say or do something to annoy me, then I need to address (with love and compassion) some divisive aspect of collective consciousness in need of integration within my own Consciousness.

Instructively …

Instructively, in relation to you, I would adopt one and only one of these perspectives on reality, depending on how meaningful, purposeful, and/or useful I perceive it to be.

If you say or do something to annoy me, then I need to choose my perspective.

Will I address you as if you were real? Will I address you as a mere figment or aspect of me? Will I address you as real insofar as you’re a co-creator with me of a common consensus reality?

It seems clear to me, myself, and I that a deeper, broader, higher view of conscious creatorship is made possible by the exploration and appreciation of each of these perspectives on reality.

My sense is that each perspective is best suited for a particular object or subject of inquiry.

If someone close to me were grieving or mourning, it wouldn’t make sense for me to keep my distance and treat this person as if he or she were a mere figment or aspect of myself.

If a program on my computer were in the process of faltering, it wouldn’t make sense for me to treat it as a co-creator with an important message or lesson for me inside a consensual reality.

If I were in the mood to exercise my will creatively, expressively, and expansively, it wouldn’t make sense for me to do anything other than follow my bliss and treat the world as my creation.

Each of these perspectives deserve my/your/our attention.

And it’s up to me/you/us to explore and test them.

Creator, Creative, Creativity, Creation

On one hand, to create is to cause Y to happen; on the other, to create Y is to bring it into existence.

Objectively, the world is governed by cause and effect. If I do X, I cause Y. Subjectively or collectively, however, the world is an individual or consensual creation. If I/we create, I/we bring it about.

Objectively, I am outnumbered by the more than 7 billion people who currently inhabit this planet.

Subjectively, I am a force of one. I have only met a tiny fraction of this 7 billion, and I can’t even be sure that they’re real – merely potential aspects of myself (albeit vital and miraculous aspects).

I’ll be the first to admit that the subjective perspective is unusually effective in getting me, myself, and I to adopt and assume a more creative, expressive, expansive position in this (my) world.

As a player who is keen on exploring and expressing the fullness of his power, with love and wisdom, I could do no better than to clear the fog that would prevent his fullest expression as a Creator.

A most necessary, albeit illusory, divide between me as player and me as Creator serves a most vital function, allowing me as Witness to bring me as player under the wing of me as Creator.

I can play all I want in a self-made world of limitation and restriction, separation and exclusion, but the moment I (as Witness) invite me (as Creator) to assume creative control, I am no longer a player.

I am a Creator, with a capital C. I am God – or at least a Creator with God consciousness.

That is, I don’t merely create individual things. I create an entire world for me, myself, and I; I create an experience of reality that transcends all manner of drama driven by fear, doubt, and worry – or, if I wish, an experience of reality filled with all manner of drama driven by fear, doubt, and worry.

In this light, I can more easily talk about living a creative life, of creating the life of my dreams, of living and crafting a lifestyle that continues to offer me creative, expressive, expansive opportunities.

I am a conscious Creator: I am creative, creativity is my activity, and my creations are my own.

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