Your Best Day Ever

by Christopher Lovejoy on December 19, 2010 · 2 comments

Have you ever had a day where nothing went ‘wrong’? Where nothing ‘bad’ happened? Where everything was ‘pitch perfect beyond belief’?

If so, do you have days like these rarely, occasionally, usually, or always?

And if you’ve never ever had a day like this one, would you like to have at least one? If so, I can help you move closer to the day when you can have one such day.

If you can summon the thought, imagination, effort, and courage, I’m willing to support you in your desire to write the story of your life, and what better place to start than with your best day ever?

Three Hearty Assumptions

I’m going to help you write a narrative for just one day – your best day ever.

Or your perfect day – if that’s what you’d like to call it.

And when I say ‘perfect’, I mean to suggest ‘completion’ and ‘fulfillment’.

Your fulfillment. Total and complete fulfillment. For one day.

What this will do, in effect, is activate, energize, and magnetize a vision of your promise with a sense of possibility in the direction of fulfilling your most authentic desires.

But the realization of this effect depends on three assumptions:

  1. that you still have a heart;
  2. that your heart contains a dream; and
  3. that your heart still believes in this dream.

Sound good?

Alright then, let’s get started.

First, A Warmup Exercise

You might think that your will to survive is your strongest instinct, but I’m willing to wager that your will to keep things familiar is even stronger, more robust, and more tenacious.

We survive and prosper when we keep things familiar. People end their lives when things get chaotic, when things are no longer familiar, when things no longer make sense or have value – if only they had the power to maintain a witness perspective when their internal maps of reality get ripped to shreds.

And so, what I’m about to suggest to you might strike a chord of fear in your heart. I can assure you, however, that this is not my intention. Hence, the warmup exercise.

Before you craft a narrative for your best day ever, you might find it helpful to complete the sentence stems below, so that you’ll have a list of affirmations from which to energize your narrative.

Your objective is to come up with affirmations that resonate most strongly with you. You can do this in a couple of ways: you can either follow your intuitive knowing and complete the stem once and for all, or you can generate as many responses as you feel are necessary to find the one that resonates most strongly with you. Either way, you’ll have an affirmative basis for crafting your narrative.

Also, for the purposes of doing this exercise, make sure that you avoid negations, such as: I am … not …; I have … no …; I can … not …; etc. Aim for affirmative statements of your worth and value.

Here are the stems:

I am …

I have …

I can …

I need …

I want …

I most love …

If you opted to generate a certain number of responses, or as many as you felt was necessary, one strategy I found helpful for getting the one that resonates most strongly with me is to review the items one after another, up and down the list, until I know in my heart which one best resonates with me.

Another strategy is to eliminate factual responses from your list and concentrate on keeping those that affirm your worth or value as a person. If, after going through your responses to a particular stem, you have nothing that resonates strongly with you, simply go back and generate more responses until you have one that resonates most strongly. Also, if you have two or more responses to a stem that share similar wording, and resonate equally well, you might want to combine them into one response.

Here’s an example:

I have …

  • what it takes to be all that I can be
  • what it takes to have all that I desire
  • what it takes to do all that I love to do

Becomes …

I have … what it takes to be all that I can be, have all that I desire, and do all that I love to do.

When you finally have all of the responses to all of the stems that resonate most strongly with you, feel free to tweak their wording for maximum effect; combine your responses into a single paragraph; and then review (or make reference to) this paragraph as needed or desired when building your narrative.

With your strongest resonators at hand, you’re ready to proceed to the mother of all questions.

The Mother of All Questions

Where your life and the promise of your life are concerned, there is, in fact, a question that is the mother of all questions. If you can answer this question with confidence, you’ll be well on your way to living the life of your dreams, but it’s not a question that I would expect you to answer right away.

Also, at first, it has limited value, because as you learn and grow in confidence, your capacity to imagine greater promise for your life, and your ability to imagine a greater sense of possibility for your life, will expand your capacity and extend your ability to answer this question more and more fully.

It might also have limited value if you’re already vibrating and resonating at the top of your game, living the life of your dreams, in which case it might only serve to stimulate a little tweaking here and there with what you already have and enjoy in your life so far. Then again, maybe it’ll do more.

Here it is – the mother of all questions: who would I be, what would I have, what would I do, where would I be, and where would I go (and with whom), if I knew, without a doubt in my mind and heart, that I would succeed beyond my wildest, most cherished dreams?

If you’d like to take a crack at answering this question, then by all means, give it your best shot, but don’t be too concerned if you can’t do it at this time. This is what the narrative is for.

For now, just be aware that there exists a question that is the mother of all questions.

Build your narrative one question at a time …

How many times have we heard this: a thousand-mile journey begins with the first step.

With the questions that follow, I’ll attempt to present them in a sequence that makes logical sense to most people. If they don’t make sense to you in the way they’re presented, feel free to adjust.

A narrative of your best day ever should really begin when you wake up. So let’s imagine, for the sake of the narrative, that you can and do wake up feeling rested and refreshed after a sound sleep.

As you answer each question, try your best to connect your descriptive responses so that you’ll have some semblance of a narrative flow when it comes time to string your responses together.

Another important feature of a strong narrative for your best day ever is to use present tense for your verbs. This ensures a sense of immediacy that strengthens your identification with the details.

(Please note: the narrative examples that I provide are not necessarily indicative of my ideals).

First question: What do I love to do when I wake up?

I invite you to embrace the power of this question fully. Depending on what you love to do when you wake up, what you do will set the tone for the rest of your day – for your best day ever.

Be transparent here. Drop the limits. Use your imagination. Do not censor yourself. Describe, in lavish, intimate detail, what you love to do when you wake up on your best day ever.

If desired, sit back (or lie down) and close your eyes to allow this question to trigger sights, sounds, and sensations that arise from the depths of your imagination.

For example: I awaken to the warmth of sunlight on my face, feeling rested and refreshed from my peaceful slumber. I observe the gentle rise and fall of a sheer curtain nearby and laugh soundlessly as the cool morning breeze caresses my forehead. My sweet lady love stirs next to me, and as I rest my gaze on her lovely face, she opens her eyes, meets my gaze, and smiles a beatific smile …

You can certainly drop hints about your ideal setting before describing what it is you love to do when you wake up, but don’t go into too much detail about your surroundings just yet.

Next question: Where am I?

After describing what you love to do when you wake up, write a description of your ideal sense of place. What do your surroundings look like, sound like, feel like, smell like?

Here’s your chance to get a real and robust sense of your most desired sense of place by allowing yourself to be as sensuous and as romantic as you care to be or wish to be.

Let your imagination go wild; relish every detail of your description as you write it out.

For example: I sigh contentedly. I love it when [what I love to do when I wake up]. I sit up in my bed and rest my back against the headboard, observing my surroundings with a mix of pride and pleasure, and while I observe the spaciousness of the bedroom from a king-sized bed, and while I survey the clean, straight lines of the furnishings amidst the harmonious color scheme of blue and white, I can’t help but marvel at …

Next question: Who am I with?

You have a few options here: you might see yourself alone – pleasantly and gloriously alone – and if so, you’ll describe this scenario in glowing terms, or you might see yourself with the person (or persons) of your dreams, or you might see yourself with the person (or persons) you’ve grown to know and love.

It’s true that you might already have made reference to her/him/them in your response to the first question, but here, you get to describe in elaborate detail the most desirable qualities of the person (or persons) you’re with, as well as any interactions you see yourself having with her/him/them.

This question has the effect of having you describe your ideal living arrangement: alone? with another? with others as a family? with others as a communal experience? You really only have four options.

For example: I laugh when my dynamo of a daughter of five years dives into bed with my wife of five years, nine months, and scrambles to get on top of her, wraps her arms around her, and crushes her with her embrace. I feel a glow in my heart when she rests her head squarely on my wife’s heart, murmuring: “I love you, Mommy” …

Next question: What am I wearing?

This might seem like a frivolous question, but by giving it your best response, you’ll be tapping into an important aspect of your preferred lifestyle, which rubs off on other aspects of your preferred lifestyle.

You might prefer to be stark naked when you wake up, but then put something on when you get out of bed. Keep this in mind as you describe what you’re wearing at the start of your best day ever.

For example: After my daughter gives me her morning hug, she runs off to play with her younger brother, leaving me with my wife, who caresses the sleeve of my silk white pajama top, remarking on how attractive it looks in the morning sunshine …

Next question: Where do I go?

At some point, you’ll leave your bed – and your bedroom. Where do you see yourself going?

Do you head for the bathroom to relieve yourself? To run a bath? To take a shower? Do you do some quick exercises to get your blood and lymph circulating? Or do you go immediately to the kitchen for something to eat or drink? Describe everything in lush detail, exactly the way you want it to be.

For example: I rise from my bed and walk at a leisurely pace to the ensuite bathroom. As I walk through the door of the bathroom, the light comes on. Mindfully, I take notice of …

Next question: What do I eat?

Eventually, you’re going to be hungry. Here’s your chance to describe in ideal terms what you love to eat and drink in general and what you love to eat and drink at breakfast.

Describe your ideal breakfast time: where you are (it could be anywhere), who you’re with (if anyone), what you’re preparing to eat and drink (if applicable), what you’re eating and drinking, and what you’re doing while you’re eating and drinking your favorite food and drink.

For example: I enjoy a diet of fresh, ripe, raw, organic fruit, nuts, seeds, vegetables, leafy greens, and herbs – sometimes blended, sometimes juiced, but much of the time I eat my produce whole. This morning, I decide to carve up a monstrously large honey dew melon for me and my …

The next questions are best treated as a unit: Where do I go from here, what do I do now, what do I love to do, what do I have to offer, with whom do I interact, and how do I feel generally about it all?

In essence, you’re describing in detail your ideal workaday activities and interactions – as well as any leisurely activities or interactions that mingle with, or fall outside the purview of, your ideal work.

Take your time with this one and expand your sense of possibility by exploring what you might do on one day while giving some consideration to what you might do on another.

Here’s a template you might find useful: After spending some time with myself [or your companions, if any] at breakfast, I head over to [your place of work] to begin my work day, which typically involves [type of work, activities, interactions]. This morning, I decide to [indicate a specific task] before I [indicate yet another task]

You’ve entered the last phase of your day. You’re winding down and you feel great. You’ve just had your best day ever. Here’s your chance to review your day and spin it just the way you like it.

Final questions: What do I do to prepare for a sound sleep and what do I do before I fall asleep?

Here’s another template: Just before I/we hit the pillow, I/we … and …, but this evening, I/we decide to …, and just before I/we climb into bed, I/we …, and as I/we get comfortable, I/we …

A quick note before you begin: your narrative is deeply personal, coming from the heart of your soul; unless you have a soul mate, don’t share this with just anyone and don’t get help with it from just anyone; this really is, and should be, for your eyes only.

Putting it all together …

Weaving a strong, vivid narrative takes a bit of skill. It also involves a little artful construction to ensure that you retain a sense of flow in your descriptions of the events that make up your best day ever.

When I did this exercise, I instinctively found it helpful to line up the questions in a list and then answer each one whenever and wherever I felt inspired. I might feel called to answer the first question, and then before I finish, I might feel called to answer another question further down the list, jumping back and forth between questions and responses, while keeping in mind the larger picture of what I was creating.

I found that each question and response, or set of questions and responses, is best viewed as a module, and while it’s true that each module can stand on its own, you’ll need transitions to seamlessly link the modules so that you fall gracefully into the flow of your narrative. If you realize that there’s no smooth transition from one narrative module to the next, you can simply incorporate one to ensure maximum flow. I found that inserting a transition at the beginning of a module works well for me.

Personal Reflections

Those who have taken the time to do this narrative exercise have expressed astonishment at how quickly and easily their narrative becomes their experience of reality when they review it daily.

Make no mistake. This is a powerful tool of personal transformation.

When I first did this exercise, I saw a sparkling, coherent vision of my best day ever begin to emerge, alerting me to desires, values, and preferences I didn’t know I had – or even forgot I had.

While I did this exercise, I made sure I did two things: (1) tap into all of my sensory modalities so that I could describe my best day ever in terms of what I saw, heard, touched, tasted, and smelled, and (2) modulated my inner voice to match the people, situations, or circumstances that I was describing.

So, for example, my inner voice sounds different when I describe the effects of sunlight on me when I wake up than when I narrate the savory taste and texture of a honey dew melon at breakfast.

With a narrative of your best day ever, you’re in a position to go further.

With a description of your daily routine at hand, you can line this description up with a narrative of your best day ever to make comparisons, and over time, to bring your daily routine into ever greater alignment with your best day ever.

Happily, I have yet to achieve a pitch perfect correspondence between my daily routine and my best day ever.

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{ 2 comments }

BriteLite December 21, 2010 at 4:44 pm

Well done. I’m willing to wager you have an amazing narrative from which to create your experience of reality.

Christopher Lovejoy December 23, 2010 at 3:10 pm

I like to think of my narrative as a work of art in progress – like the story of my life.

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