On Being A Creator

by Christopher Lovejoy on December 12, 2010 · 2 comments

In conscious creatorship, your experience is one of unity and harmony.

Your experience of reality is timeless, with no experience of passing time; even better, the experience expands, grows richer, and makes everything seem so much more whole. Everything flows.

It’s a relaxing, harmonious experience when everything flows for an extended period of time.

Awakening to your creatorship allows your experience of reality to become more fluid and direct, where what you desire authentically is made manifest fairly quickly and effortlessly.

As a conscious creator of your own experience of reality, you give yourself over to a field of grace.

But first, you take back your projections. You assume control of your intentions. You govern your expectations with relative ease. You refine your perceptions as you feel called to do so.

This is the promise of conscious creatorship.

Egoic Fear, Anger, Desire

Once you get a handle on your beliefs with respect to your perceived problems, inadequacies, and difficulties, you’re ready to step into a place where you can address your intentions, govern your expectations, and refine your perceptions. You’re ready to deal with the issues in your life.

Your issues are driven by egoic desire, with fear cowering and clutching desire on one side and with anger standing tall and proud on the other.

With issues, you can ask three questions:

  1. what is the fear in this issue?
  2. what is the anger in this issue?
  3. what is the desire in this issue?

This triad – fear, anger, desire – is the ultimate driver of your fearful doubts and your resentful worries, of your grasping fixations and your unwanted obligations, of your relentless obsessions and your demanding compulsions.

This triad can have you clutching, grasping, and clinging desperately to the objects of your desire, for ways to satisfy your needs, to get answers to your questions, to resolve your issues once and for all, or it can have you ranting and raving and railing against anyone or anything that seems to be standing in your way. Not a good place to be if you expect to be a conscious creator of your experience.

As a unit, fear, anger, and desire can all too easily make you forget that the eyes with which you look at the world can actually shape what you see. Unrefined perception becomes projection and unrefined projection becomes perception. You are no longer in control of your experience of reality. Bias, prejudice, discrimination, and unwarranted suspicion are unfortunate results.

Let us never forget: perception is not passive; it’s a potent act of creation. Your perceptions, by way of your projections, can influence not only how you experience yourself, but your entire experience of reality.

And you’ll get to a place where you can choose to refine your own perceptions when you get a handle on the issues that put you in survival mode and adversely affect the course of your life.

By entering a state of divine neutrality when you feel this is necessary, and by coming to grips with your issues to the point of having them resolved, you can then refine your perceptions to manifest your creations to refine your perceptions to manifest your creations, in a positive feedback loop.

Unresolved Issues

In my recent post, Becoming A Creator, I explored ways to clear away your perceived problems, inadequacies, and difficulties. In this post, my intention is to explore ways to resolve issues so that you can step up into being a conscious creator of your experience of reality.

Your perceived problems (I don’t like it when …), inadequacies (I can’t seem to …), and difficulties (I can’t or won’t accept …) are the unfortunate byproducts of your unresolved issues.

Now, you might be wondering why put the cart before the horse, so to speak. That is, why would I deal with the byproducts first, in my post on becoming a creator?

Think of it this way. If a fire broke out in your home, generating a good deal of smoke and ashes in the process, and you had the means to put out the fire with a fire extinguisher, you’d very likely try to find a way to clear the smoke and ashes first, at least enough to see where the fire is burning.

Of course, I’m assuming you have at least a few issues in your life, or at least one major issue in your life, that is clogging up your capacity to consciously create your experience of reality.

Or undermining your ability to do so.

I’m also assuming that you have a genuine desire to resolve them. If you do have issues, but don’t have a strong enough desire to resolve them, then I’m afraid I can’t help you.

If, however, you have no issues, and you’re already in the field of grace, consciously creating your experience of reality, then let me be the first to bow down and kiss your blessed feet.

When I take a moment to think about how I might begin to resolve one of my own issues, I always come back to contemplating the immediacy of feeling desperate rather than passionate.

I’m feeling I need to get in touch with conditioned patterns that cause me to resist uncomfortable, unfavorable experience as it arises, to resist the field of grace, and to resist the flow of life. To get in touch with the impulses of survival to seize, grip, grasp, clutch, and cling – desperately.

As in: I should do this. I’ve got to do this. I have to do this. I must do this.

And if I don’t, I will never be able to sleep again. I will lose everything I have. I will lose my loved ones. I will sink into the abyss of despair. I will lose my will to live. I will suffer and die a horrible death.

Your Ego as Servant, The Self as Master

Your ego – your sense of identity conditioned by fear – is necessary for you to quantify your existence and measure your experience, to keep tabs on how much and how many, how long and how far. To keep you alive and well.

But if you’ve done a most unfortunate thing to yourself and let your ego take center stage in your experience of reality, you’ll notice that it perceives your experience in terms of what’s missing. Enough? Not enough? More than enough?

Do I have enough money? Enough time and energy to do what I need or want to do? I look at others and I wonder: do I have enough to be successful, to be happy, healthy, wealthy, or wise? Do I know enough? Am I doing enough? Do I have enough? Am I good enough?

Enough already.

The moment you (you, your ego) perceive your experience of reality primarily in terms of what’s missing, you step into an illusion – what might be called the illusion of enoughness (rhymes with toughness and roughness). When you keep taking your experience primarily into a place of judgment – enough, not enough, more than enough – you cease to operate from a deep place (the deep Self).

Please notice: I didn’t say your deep Self. I said the deep Self. Your ego does not own, can never own, and will never own, the deep Self.

When you (you, your ego) veer off center (located in the deep Self), into a place where you insist on quantifying almost everything about your existence and measuring almost everything about your experience, looking at your life experience in terms of a number, an amount, a quantity, you lose control of the facility for perception, which (as you might recall) is also the facility for creation – the conscious creation of your experience of reality.

Unfortunately for you (you, your ego) and for me (me, my ego), exposing, accepting, and releasing hidden quantifiers through awareness is not easy to do. We’d all like to move out of, or stay out of, this quantifying, preoccupying mode of perception and move into a more creative mode of perception that arises from a deeper place, to align thought and feeling in service of this mode of perception, but …

But what?

Let’s explore some possibilities for putting the ego in its proper place so that you can begin to create from a deeper place – from the deep Self.

The Deep Self is Divine

Light, love, truth; information, inspiration, manifestation.

Let’s examine these ideas in depth, because they’re important for coming to terms with the issues and hidden quantifiers that arise from egoic desires flanked by fear and anger.

But first, a few thoughts about the term ‘divine’.

The term ‘divine’ is typically associated with qualifying that which comes from God (in monotheistic systems of belief) or the gods (in the more ancient polytheistic systems of belief).

I believe that, over time, in the evolution of human desire, the gods and God became necessary elaborations of the deep Self.

For a long time, most if not all human beings were just not ready, willing, or able to locate a sense of identity from within, in relation to the deep Self. They were too caught up in egoic desires.

As so many of us are today.

With the impulses of passion that spring from the deep Self, we can speak a language of divine light, love, and truth; we can speak of divinely inspired intentions, expectations, perceptions, and creations.

Anything divine is, by definition, supremely good or admirable, sublime or inspired.

With respect to egoic desire, I’m inviting you to take a leap – small for some, big for others.

I’d like you to get a sense that if you weren’t evaluating ‘what is’ as bad or wrong, then you wouldn’t have to make such a concerted effort to find something to make it good or right.

And when you experience ‘what is’ more directly, you also avoid the unpleasant consequences of having ‘what is good or right’ activate and energize ‘what is bad or wrong’ by way of comparison.

Rather than evaluate ‘what is’, experience the ‘is-ness’ that underlies any feeling of ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. Rest in the awareness that things are as they are to enter a place of divine neutrality.

Not easy to do, but assuming this posture regularly will have a transformative effect on your facility for perception.

When you count your blessings, for example, you might be putting undue emphasis on what is good, special, or wonderful; you might be activating its opposite into your life, albeit indirectly by way of the duality inherent in reality. If so, you expend effort to stay positive, while inadvertently energizing the negative counterpart unconsciously.

Instead, aim for less investment in positive judgment and aim for a pure experience of neutrality, allowing creation to manifest naturally, spontaneously, and effortlessly. Note the ego in relationship to the Self, and say yes, the ego has its place, but not a dominant place in relationship to the deep Self.

It’s your natural state to be a divine creator of your own experience of life, to be in a place of full acceptance – not trying to make things happen, not trying to make things better, not trying to make things different.

Ultimately, all of creation is a natural, spontaneous, effortless manifestation of divine light, love, and truth. The deep Self knows what to create and how to create it, but your fear, anger, and perceptions of separation and limitation manifest effects, results, and outcomes at odds with the deep Self.

Remember: the deep Self is divine. Your ego is best viewed as its servant.

Resolution and Refinement

We’ve looked at the importance of flushing out your problems, inadequacies, and difficulties, and we’ve looked at the importance of cultivating divine neutrality. Now let’s take a look at resolving your issues and refining your perceptions, for it is here that you get to enter conscious creatorship.

Let us realize from the outset that we live in a time and space where everything is more refined, more sensitive to your vibes. In this time and space, your fear, anger, and desire (as a unit) can more easily and quickly taint, undermine, or shortcircuit your intended, expected creations.

Your most essential habit is to cultivate the act of allowing authentic desire (pure desire, free from fear and anger) to emerge naturally, spontaneously, and effortlessly from the deep Self; this is in contrast to indulging the act of satisfying egoic desire (contaminated desire, spoiled by fear and anger).

Authentic desire feels more like passion, like fuel for the spirit, like an energy that helps you to get going (and to keep going), that helps you to navigate your way through obstacles; it doesn’t feel constrained, constricted, or restricted by fear; it doesn’t feel tainted or undermined by anger.

Authentic desire carries with it a sense of boundless, limitless potential – a robust sense of promise (which is good for the soul) with an unlimited sense of possibility (which is good for the spirit).

Egoic desire, on the other hand, always has fear and anger stuck to its sides, which are at the root of all unconscious patterns that constrain, constrict, restrict, or limit the expression of the deep Self.

Fear and anger have a way of sucking the life out of your sense of potential. Your desires feel limited. Your efforts to justify, rationalize, diminish, or exaggerate your sense of destination (or whatever it is you’re aiming to manifest) has you creating results or outcomes that reflect a sense of limitation.

Far better to free yourself of the reasons for having this or that or the other thing. Life, and your experience of life, is so much more than ‘getting there’. Authentic desire takes you on a scenic journey; you don’t feel bent on getting to any particular destination at the expense of the journey.

Now, before I give you a practical, working suggestion on how to cultivate a transformative relationship with your issues, let’s turn our attention to refining your perceptions.

As you might have guessed, the act of guiding and refining your perceptions is done with finesse, with support from the deep Self. This act is subtle rather than obvious, immediate rather than prolonged, buttressed by the impulses of passion that arise spontaneously from the deep Self.

When you have issues, your contaminated desires clog up your awareness, making allowance and acceptance next to impossible, which in turn forces you to project rather than perceive that which serves your Self-informed, Self-inspired intentions, expectations, and creations.

In your experience of life and reality, you (you, your ego) will likely perceive manifestations in your experience that are out of step with the deep Self. You might judge these misalignments as bad or wrong, but if you keep a neutral stance, take note of them, allow them to be as they are, accept them for what they are, and treat them as opportunities for growth to expand more fully into a spacious awareness, while holding the intention of resolving your issues with comfort and ease, then you will find your flow in the impulses of passion that emerge moment by moment from the deep Self.

A tall order, I know, but there it is. The payoff for pulling this off, however, is huge.

Give Yourself A Freedom Day

After reading this far, you might be thinking (or feeling): I can’t do this.

Perhaps not now. Perhaps not anytime soon. Perhaps not ever.

But unless you try, there’s no telling what you can accomplish.

Of course, I’m going to make this easy for you. For many of us, life is tough these days, and in times like these, we all like easy, don’t we? Of course we do (even when we like it hard on occasion).

Here’s my suggestion for getting started on your journey into the deep Self.

Give yourself a freedom day.

For twelve consecutive hours, do nothing except what your heart calls you to do.

For some of you, this might mean sleeping all day (or night; I don’t want to discriminate against the night owls); it might mean walking, observing, and exploring all day; or it might mean connecting with a loved one and making love all day; or chatting, texting, or connecting with family and friends all day; or creating desired effects, results, or outcomes all day; or reading, writing, and meditating all day. Or some combination thereof.

If you’ve been feeling deprived of something you’ve been meaning to do within the scope of your perceived limitations, here’s your chance to make good on your intention; give the impulses of your heartfelt passion free reign. Satisfy them to your heart’s content; satisfy them until you feel fulfilled.

If, however, you’re in a place where you don’t feel deprived, here’s what I suggest:

For twelve consecutive hours, do nothing except what your heart calls you to do.

This course of action could involve any of the following: letting go of your need for a plan; relinquishing a need for egoic control; exposing the hidden quantifiers in your judgments that have you fixated, obsessed, or preoccupied with being enough, having enough, or doing enough; acknowledging and releasing your egoic desires; letting go of your expectations of what’s going to happen next; allowing your intentions to arise in the wake of your impulses of passion from the deep Self; following your intentions with heartfelt abandon. In short, transforming your experience from the inside out.

In general, you might feel uneasy or uncertain at first. You might feel like you have too much freedom. You might feel like giving up not long after you start. For some of you, I believe this is a natural and normal way to react, given how unfamiliar it might be for you to give yourself permission to be totally free. If this is the case, take a few moments to sit with your discomfort, breathe into it, and allow it to release.

If you feel disoriented at the end of your 12-hour sojourn into the deep Self, you’ll know you haven’t been living in alignment with the deep Self. At this point, you have a choice: you can either slip back into ‘business as usual’ or you can start making some beneficial changes in your life – slowly at first, or if you’re feeling spiritually ambitious, you might consider making these changes wholesale, allowing for the possibility that your patterned, conditioned life could be torn apart at the seams.

It might take some time to stay in touch with the impulses that arise from the deep Self – authentic, inspired, informed impulses free of fear, doubt, and worry – but with a little persistence and lots of safe allowance, you’ll be well on your way to entering a natural, effortless, spontaneous flow.

Five Lessons to Learn

Here’s a recap of what we’ve covered in this post, along with some practical suggestions. You’ll notice, as you read these lessons, their inherent, sequential logic – one building on the one before it.

1) Make every moment a creative expression of absolute freedom.

This is the primary directive of those who would be creators of their experience of reality. To help you do this, might I suggest a daily, regular meditative practice? Sit, stand, walk, jog. Whatever gets you in the free zone, where every moment of your experience arises unhindered by egoic desire.

2) Make every attempt to see through the illusion of enoughness.

Yes, it’s true that your ego has its place, but rather than let it dominate your experience with hidden quantifiers, give it a place in a subordinate position to the deep Self so that you can experience the quality of your life – your scenic journey as well as your desired destination.

3) Dissolve patterns of separation and limitation based on fear, anger, and desire.

Fear breeds separation and limitation; anger enforces separation and limitation. When desire becomes contaminated with fear and anger, an issue arises. Again, with any issue, we can ask: what is the fear in this issue? What is the anger in this issue? What is the desire in this issue? Take your attention below any feeling that says ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ and focus on ‘what is’. Awareness in and of itself is transformative.

4) Coordinate your ultra-sensory perception with basic sensory experience.

Egoic desire operates in the realm of the five senses. Authentic desire, from the deep Self, operates in a realm where the five senses can be coordinated with timeless intentions to create your experience of reality. Do yourself a favor and get in touch with your animating, activating spirit.

It’s pure and it’s free and it loves to come alive to its sense of possibility.

5) Drop the limits and come fully into your power without the fear.

Those who would control you use fear as their weapon. Fear clouds judgment and dulls discernment. The moment you buy into this tactic, you’ve put yourself at an immediate disadvantage. As you master steps one through four, you’ll more easily be in a position to drop your perceived limits.

In closing, I have this to say:

Be confident of your proclivities. Trust them deeply, and follow them with informed, inspired abandon. The universe is your partner in desire.

When you feel ready, let your life be a dance of ecstasy with the universe.


BriteLite December 17, 2010 at 8:40 am

When does passion become obsession on the one hand, and when does passion become compulsion on the other? Do you draw fine lines between them?

Christopher Lovejoy December 18, 2010 at 11:12 am

These questions made me think.

I suppose one could make a distinction between the impulses of egoic passion and the impulses of a passion that arise from the deep Self. The first are motivated by fear; the second are inspired by love. The first are driven by anger; the second are powered by focus.

Passion contaminated with fear and/or anger gives rise to obsession and/or compulsion, respectively.

The lesson? Stay in love with who you are and what you have – and keep your focus.

The lines to be drawn, I believe, are between fear and love, anger and focus. Sometimes, they’re fine; sometimes not.

Which I suppose is one reason why presence of mind is so important.

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