A Fulfilling Complement

by Christopher Lovejoy on September 17, 2010 · 2 comments

Fulfilling: Full. Filling.

When I write, I am full … of ideas. I express them, and I keep filling … with more ideas.

This is fulfilling. Quite literally.

When I write, I’m never quite satisfied with having enough ideas, and I expect more, and so I keep getting more, expressing more, having more. Is this process necessarily a good thing?

Most of the time, yes. Especially when it feels so full … filling.

But all of the time?

Consider a simple analogy.

You know the experience: you accidentally move your hands under a tap of running water that is more hot than cold, pulling them away in pain; you introduce more cold water and the running water becomes tolerable.

Like hot running water, fulfillment has its complementary opposite.

There comes a time when you feel a need to pull away from being full, from the constant filling – from the constant expressing and filling, expressing and filling, expressing and filling.

Whatever this might mean for you creatively, constructively, or productively.

There comes a time when you feel the need to empty yourself – to be yourself – and to be empty.

To be still. To be quiet. To be silent. To be at peace. To go beyond the peace into beatitude, to invite a fresh perspective, to welcome a new approach, to allow a great idea to emerge.

The term “void” is useful here. A void is a gap, an empty space, a vacancy, a vacuum. When you tactfully a-void an unpleasant situation, you prevent a void from opening up inside you.
When you fulfill yourself, you are never more full as when you express yourself, even as you continue to fill yourself.

But when you, for lack of a better term, “voidvoid” yourself, you pull back into feeling empty (spent, drained, exhausted) in whatever you feel compelled to do, even as you continue to empty yourself.

Voidvoiding: Void. Voiding. It sounds silly, I know, but there it is: a complement for fulfilling.

Voidvoiding. As in: this long and dreary trek under the scorching hot sun is voidvoiding to me.

As in: as I lay back for a most deserving rest, I couldn’t help but think that this pleasant respite from my incessant writing was voidvoiding to me.

Curiously, “voidvoiding” can assume either a negative spin or a positive spin.

My Achilles’ Heel

For the most part, I eat raw, living food: fruit, melons, vegetables, leafy greens, and edible seeds.

And if that is all I eat, I feel good: my mind is clear, my mood is buoyant, my outlook is serene. I feel energetic. I wake up in the morning feeling a tremendous sense of anticipation for the day to come.

But when I go out to eat with a friend, or with friends, I might, for lack of viable alternatives, deviate from my standard fare with a vegetarian sub or pita wrap, or with a vegetarian soup or salad.

And because I’ve been eating nature’s foods for as long as I have, my body has adjusted to the easy digestion, assimilation, and elimination, and to the beneficial buildup of an alkaline condition.

And so, when I ingest a food with hidden, artificial ingredients, it disturbs the status quo of my body; my mood and motivation are adversely affected. I invariably wake up feeling depressed and sluggish.

Feeling less than my best, any fears, doubts, cares, concerns, or worries that I might have are amplified. Feeling less than my best, I need to be careful not to confuse projection with perception. I need to be careful not to conflate the projection of my negative emotions with my perception of negative occurrences.

Typically, I can assume a witness perspective to deal effectively with any such confusion. Thankfully, this might only last a day – two days at most – as long as I continue to eat raw, living food.

Your story might be different. You probably have your own achilles’ heel.

Be My Guest

Recently, in the midst of having my achilles’ tendon stretched (figuratively speaking), a procedure rose in my mind while I was releasing a deeply preoccupied and depressed state of mind.

I was greeted by this negative state when I woke up one morning, and having trained myself to release, I quickly assumed a witness perspective to observe the occurrence of this state of mind.

This state of mind, unfortunately, was more tenacious than most. As I was attempting to release it, a rather strange idea occurred to me, in the form of a very particular sequence of events.

In that moment, a sequence of events played through my mind: welcoming friends into my home, allowing my guests to make themselves comfortable, spending time with them before concluding the visit, and then letting them go at the door of my home before going about my business afterwards.

I saw three aspects of this visitation as the most essential for the purposes of releasing: welcome, allow, release. I tried this procedure as many times as I felt necessary and it worked wonders.

Here’s the procedure I call Be My Guest:

I feel … [insert intense, persistent feeling]

Welcome: could I welcome this feeling?

Allow: could I allow it to be, just as it is?

Release: could I let it go, just for now?

This sequence of questions is inspired by The Sedona Method. Keep in mind that you can answer “yes” or “no” to any or all of these questions. You might even find a growing tendency to answer “yes” as you cycle through this line of questioning.

Implications for Fulfillment

There’s a school of thought that says: “health – it’s all about consciousness”.

What this means is that your health – whether it be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual – is, at root, a matter of conscious choice. So, for example, if I continue to eat food with hidden, artificial ingredients in it when I go out to eat, then I’m actually choosing to take a risk with my health.

And health is an integrated web of interconnected aspects. If I compromise my physical health, I compromise every other aspect of my health – emotional, mental, and spiritual. If my body tells me, in its infinite wisdom, to stop and be still, then its telling me to do this for every aspect of my health.

We live in a world of duality – in a world of dual opposites.

Where health is concerned, we could talk about feeling any of the following opposites: tense or relaxed; heavy or light; drowsy or alert; anxious or calm; despondent or buoyant; fearful or serene; resentful or forgiving; agitated or content; inadequate or adequate; unworthy or worthy.

Full or empty. Fulfilled or voidvoided.

My point is this: if you make it a habit to embrace and reinforce any one of these positives, you’re inviting its opposite into your life – whether you realize it or not.

Without even being aware of it, you might even be suppressing or repressing the negative side of the equation, only to have it appear later, with unusual intensity, when you least expect it.

By all means, allow yourself to be positive, to express it if you feel so inspired, but remember that the dark side of the equation is never far away, lurking in the background, ready to be acknowledged.

And to be released, if necessary, with Be My Guest.

I must admit that writing this post has been fulfilling.

And, along the way, in its own strange way, it was also (dare I say it?) positively voidvoiding.


BriteLite September 18, 2010 at 8:57 am

I agree that it’s important to maintain a balance between the push for fulfillment and the pull of … for the lack of a better word … voidvoidment, but I would also suppose that it’s best not to wait until you feel drained or exhausted before you try to restore the balance. Better to keep the balance in mind while you go about your day.

Christopher Lovejoy September 18, 2010 at 10:45 am

You make an excellent point, BriteLite. Presence of mind is important in keeping the balance between pushing too hard for fulfillment and allowing too easily the pull of “voidvoidment” – between feeling compelled to attain, achieve, and accomplish and feeling satisfied with what you already have.

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